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To the couples who haven’t gone on a date in awhile:

GO ON A DATE!

I know I say this a lot, and I don’t want to come off as annoying, judge-y or insensitive when I write this post. Life can be tough and in those tough times, we tend to put this incredibly important relationship of ours on the back-burner. It also happens when life is busy. For whatever the reason, these situations start to take precedence over something that is so essential to a relationship. I don’t think couples realize how important dating is to their relationship until they go without that special time for a few months and they truly feel a disconnect happening. Doesn’t our relationship need time away from work, school, children, family, and daily obligations and stresses?

You might think I encourage dates too often because I’m a naive newlywed who is still excited by dates, and doesn’t have a busy life yet! Just because I don’t have kids, doesn’t mean I’m not busy :) Also, I’m not naive. I have experienced marital hardships, and also have a college education completely focused on what does and doesn’t keep a family together. And guess what? I sure do think date night is one of those things that will keep a family together! :)

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With the infinite number of things to do as a couple, there’s not much room for excuses in not having a date for a long period of time!

  • On a budget? There are so many cheap or FREE date night ideas to do at home or even going out. It can be as simple as going on a walk or hike!
  • Trouble getting a babysitter? Kids have to sleep at some point, right? So that can be your window of opportunity for alone time. :)
  • Can’t seem to find time? MAKE THE TIME. Life should never be too busy to the point where you can’t find time to spend with your spouse… If it is, then rearrange your priorities or give something else up, instead of giving up the quality time with your spouse.
  • Not sure what to do? Look up ideas, especially from my giant compiled list here!
  • Don’t know how to get the ball rollin’ again? Just straight up ask your spouse on a date! Since asking your spouse on a date is not an ordinary thing, it can seem really cute, surprising, and intriguing to your spouse :) How could they say no?
  • Have other circumstances? DO THE BEST YOU CAN! You can call date night 15 minutes of playing words with friends against each other! You can say date night is cleaning the house together while listening to music and dancing together occasionally :)

Giving it the title

I think we also tend to just slide into going to events together, calling them a date without it even being said. I have felt that sliding feeling before, even though we are very good at asking each other on dates most of the time. I think there’s a lot of power in deciding on a date, asking on a date, or even just giving the title of “date” to something you do together. It makes sense when you look back on your single-life and remember how important the difference was between just hanging out, and going on a date! Your casual demeanor changes to a more intentional mindset, right? I think the same thing applies in the marriage world :)

So do something together and no matter how small the activity might be together, still call it a date :) I bet you’ll notice a difference! AGAIN, There really aren’t excuses for not spending quality time together that is fun or relaxing. It’s important to your mental health and your marital health, so hop to it :)

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[signoff]

Keepin' marriage fresh,
Amy

2 Comments

  • Since having baby E we’ve loved taking her with us on dates, but now as she’s getting active and needing more attention we realize that dates with just the two of us are super valuable. We need time to be us, James and Janelle us, not always daddy and mommy us.

    • Yes I love this! I think also having that experience of not having as much time just the two of you helps you appreciate it more! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess :) Thanks for sharing!

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