If you’ve been following along this past year, every week I’ve been writing a blog post each week specifically about a joy that I have found in my marriage that week. Well, that project is now done with, and I don’t know if I’ve ever been as consistent with a project like this before, especially one that is every week for a whole year! You can read here why I started this project in the first place.

We have been feeling some joy this past week and I’m not quite sure how to sum it up into one word, but I think it could be summarized into patience and clarity. Patience usually is not a joyous word, haha, but it is when you have achieved patience, right? Well this weekend we got a new car! It’s one I’ve been eyeing for awhile now and even test-drove it over a year ago.

I have about 4 more of these blog posts left of this #ajoyfulmarriage project, and I realized I haven’t shared about a major aspect of our marriage that brings us so much joy! It’s one that initially, I felt sad I hadn’t mentioned yet, but realized that this time of year brings it out even more, so it worked out saving it until now :) Our spirituality brings us me so much joy in our marriage, and I’m pretty sure my husband feels joy from it too.

A quality in our marriage that brings me joy is our ability to count our blessings. We are good at that. And I don’t mean that in the literal counting sense, as if we are keeping track and pouting if we didn’t have as many as we did last month, lol. I just meant that in a way that we can find a positive spin to situations, or find things to be thankful for, even amidst times of trials.

Our church offers a Sunday school class on the topic of marriage and family, and the lesson yesterday reminded me of something in our marriage that brings us joy: the value we see in each other. I wanted to share this interesting object lesson the teacher used and why I loved it! One of the teachers held up a gold dollar coin and said that it represented us being “one” in our marriage.

I like to think my DIY skills and creativity bless our marriage for the better :) If we’re talking about it bringing joy to my marriage, it sure does because I fully enjoy doing little thoughtful surprises/projects like this one I did for hubby this week. We have this thing called “ultimate couch bed” that we like to do periodically throughout the year. Particularly when there are some movie marathons of tv show binge watching or someone is sick and we know we will be on the couch all weekend :) It’s where we rearrange our couch sectional pieces in the living room to form one giant couch right in front of the TV.

A characteristic about the both of us that brings me joy in our marriage is that we both are practical thinkers. This may seem like a boring trait to find joy in but if you are a person who struggles with anxiety and worries over little things, it could cause more anxiety to be with someone who constantly makes irrational decisions on a whim, haha. Since we both can relate to those worrisome feelings, I feel like we can rely on each other in a comforting way.

It’s getting harder to be vulnerable week to week sharing details about our marriage, but I committed to this project at the beginning of the year, and I know it’s helping me train my outlook on marriage for the better! There are only about 10 more weeks left of this project and it’s so interesting seeing things progress. I’m definitely a fan of personal exercises or campaigns that challenge you for a period of time in a way that strengthens and improves yourself as an individual.

A Joy that I found in my marriage this week is a joy I have felt before, but since it happened a few times this week, I think it’s been on my mind more. It’s sort of embarrassing to share, but I snore sometimes when I sleep, haha. I’m blaming it on all my sinus issues though! I had sinus surgery about 3 weeks ago, and though I have been doing so much better than we expected, I still have a little bit of inflammation here and there.

We got our wedding rings cut off this week. Sounds weird, I know, but it feels even weirder! Both of our rings have gotten tighter since we first got married, making them harder to take off. After my husband was reading on how that can be dangerous to not be able to take off our rings, he decided he wanted to get a new ring and I totally understand. I wasn’t planning on it when we got to the jeweler, but we ended up cutting my ring off too and are getting it resized.

I’ve been recovering from Sinus Surgery #2 the past week, and going into it I didn’t think I would have a lot to feel joyous about because the first surgery’s recovery was horrible. However, the surgery itself went so well, and the recovery afterward was so well that I didn’t need to use painkillers hardly. That’s a huge win in my book. And even though I experienced a lot of pain a week later due to airplane air pressure, I’m still feeling joy that I was able to recover as well as I did!

The Joy I found in my marriage this week is simply little surprises that mean so much! This joy kind of spans over the past two weeks when my husband gifted me with a massage! I really needed it and they are just my weakness. My body needs it. My mind needs it. So this was a gift I was eager to use. The other “gift” was a computer monitor for my office.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: cute banter :) We love being silly with each other, just like any other couple! Because it’s fun to tease each other, right? I gotta share a memorable one from this week :) Whenever I give my husband a piece of gum, he ALWAYS gives me the wrapper, haha. Sometimes it happens when there’s an obvious trash can near by or he has a pocket he can stick it in himself.

This joy is going to AGAIN sound familiar… trying new things together, or just things that we grew up doing but haven’t done since we’ve been together. We went to a little Idaho getaway with family this weekend and had a blast doing a whole bunch of outdoorsy adventurous things we haven’t yet experienced together, like riding on four-wheelers,fishing and shooting. It’s weird that in our 5 years of being together, 4 years of that in marriage, we haven’t done these things yet, even though both of our families are outdoor sports adventurists.

I’m happy to say that I’ve truly felt some joys this past week that have left me feeling content with life and my marriage! I have found joy in letting things go. I’m trying to not take disagreements so personally, and it allows us to roll them off our back more. I’m also trying to let go of things I can’t change – specifically the fact that I have to have a second sinus surgery in a few weeks.

I’m still shocked about Chris Pratt and Anna Farris splitting up 😩. Being a celebrity and being married is not easy. I’ve written about how celebrity marriages face different struggles than everyday marriages face. Even though their marriage ultimately ended, I’m still obsessed with this marriage advice he gave, “At least touch toes.” If you’ve read it, I hope you can see the sense he makes. I also see so much of the learning that took place to discover this tip himself.

The Joy I found in my marriage this week is trying new things. And this one is going to be funny because it has to do with trying new foods, which I am not very good at. A few weeks ago my husband even said to me, “When I ask if you want to try some of my food and you say, ‘No, I want you to enjoy it” I get that means you don’t want to try it.

Exactly a year and one week ago today we sat on this rock and made an important decision to start trying to have children. With it being a year of trying and discouragement, it’s technically now considered an infertility journey. It’s crazy how you can talk about infertility with other people and learn about it, but when it becomes more real for you personally, it becomes this really hard thing to say out loud, or even type.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: that feeling when you kiss and make-up. You all know the feeling I’m referring to because you’ve felt it yourselves many times, I’m sure of it! It sucks when you disappoint each other because you don’t agree on something. But it’s also a reality of marriage because you are two different people joining your lives together. It still doesn’t feel good to hit that low, but man is it good to go back and hit that high :)

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, but primarily this week, how grateful I am to have the husband that I have. He’s very patient with me on weeks that I fall short, where I complain a lot, and don’t do the usual things that I do. And yet he gives me a break, realizing some of the emotional stresses I’m under, and also tries to help pick up my slack.

This week has been mostly anxiety, over an array of things, people, and situations. It’s put me off my normal self, since last Sunday. For those of you who also deal with this, I’m sure you can understand how frustrating it can be. In week’s like this, it can be difficult to find something to be joyous about. But I did. I found joy in my husband continuously being patient with me through it.

One of the joys I found in my marriage this week has been on how I’ve consistently stuck with this project every week and how it has benefited my marriage! I’m not very good with journaling sometimes, but this particular project and having the blogging accountability to do it has helped me continue it. Not saying that this project has been hard, but I’m not as consistent in my other kind of journaling, haha.

I don’t really like to say we are a mom or dad to our dog Oli, but we do take care of him and parent him in lots of ways. I didn’t think I would ever be a “dog parent” but I’ve been finding myself glad that it happened. And I don’t want to be one of those people that posts everything on their dog, haha, but I can’t deny the fact that he has brought me some joy this week that directly relates to my marriage, so I’m gonna write about it!

Today is my husband’s 26th birthday! Crazy enough, it happens to also be week 26 of this project, too! I love coincidences like that. And it works out well because the joy I have found in my marriage this week, is having that feeling like we know each other pretty well for our birthdays. We’ve celebrated 5 birthdays together now, which is 10 birthdays total! Weird when you think about it in total numbers, right?

I’m almost half way through this project to live a more joyful marriage! It’s been such a good exercise for me to do each week because sometimes I have to think a little harder about the joys in life and in marriage. And that has helped me see things deeper in our relationship. There have been a few things in our marriage this week that has brought me joy! :) But one main thing that I have found joy in this week was in our ultimate cereal date night on Friday!

This picture from last October is one of the most fun moments with some of my family members. While the boys were taking pictures with the photographer, the girls were scheming and did a surprise silly string attack on them! It was really funny and it brings me to the joy I had this week. :) The joy I found in my marriage this week: Effortless, no pressure fun. That seems like something obvious, and yet it’s something that can be easily taken for granted.

The joy I found in my marriage this week was my husband getting a new job that he was so happy about! I’ve kind of shared it mysteriously on here because we didn’t want to say anything until we had good news, but my husband actually got laid off his job a month ago. The decision was based on saving money, not on his performance whatsoever. It was very unexpected and very inconvenient in the timing.

The joy I found in my marriage this week is seeing the door to parenthood open wider. There were two reasons for this joy. This has been our first full week with our new dog, Oli. And though Trevor does most of the responsibilities, we’ve both had our eyes further opened to what being a parent is like. Being a “dog parent” I guess you could say, is a great segway into being a parent for a human, haha.

The joy I found in my marriage this week was adding this little guy to our family :) I’ll preface the story of this joy by saying that I did not think I would ever have a dog, or any pet for that matter. I’ve specifically told people I won’t have a pet, haha. I grew up with quite a variety of pets and I guess it just never became a passion of mine.

This weekend, I was able to do something that is #1 on my bucket list after having a family: See U2 live in concert! And we made it happen! To hear them live made me feel so blessed to be there because I just love and appreciate their music so much! They put on an incredible and entertaining show for their fans! It was exhilarating, anxious, and wonderful all in one if that make sense?

The joy I found in my marriage this week: feeling a positive difference in our lives and our relationship. It’s a good feeling when both of you notice that your interactions and overall days feel different from the past few months. I think one of the biggest things that we both appreciated and found joy in was how we focused more on “listening to understand” when we discussed specific subjects. I’ve always known this principle but sometimes you just need to be reminded, right?

I had a couple of joys I found in my marriage this week. I’ll just share one of them though. I found joy in our outside date night we had this week. We both took some of the day off for some time with each other and we chose to go to a food truck round-up at our nearby lake. The weather was kind of perfect with it not being too hot, not too cold but just the right amount of breeze.

Before I tell you the joy I found in my marriage this week, I need to preface it by saying that sometimes you can be so consistently down (#depression) that it’s hard to find joy in things. When you’re done being so hard on yourself every day, we tend to jump to the person next to us and blame our unhappiness on them. Which means … our spouse. We start to let the little imperfections in our marriages feel like big imperfections and it’s not OK.

Something that I found joy in is actually something that initially bugs me. And others may not understand it but I’ve just gotta share this thought. Stop devaluing your relationship with your spouse This week I’ve heard many people say things like, “I don’t remember what life was like before our kids.” and other similar phrases. And it makes me sad when people say that, believe it or not. I get that it’s a loving way of trying to say that children have enriched your life in a way that you would never want to change, and that you can’t imagine life without them.

The joy I focused on in my marriage this week: that I have the power and influence of Christ in my relationship. I would say “found” in my marriage like I normally do, but the thing is I’ve always known it. It’s just that I have daily reminders on weeks like this one, preparing for Easter. In the blog post: “Christlike Attributes and my Marriage,” I’ve shared about the ways that his wonderful examples have positively influenced the way that we interact with each other.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: doing service together. Yesterday we went to a Latter-Day Saint temple together to do some service, since it’s been like 4 or 5 months since we last went. When we first got married we made a goal to go once a month because we feel spiritually lifted individually and in our marriage when we go. We kept that up for about the first two years, but the past two years it has been about every 6-10 weeks.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: Unity. Not everyone is going to agree with the decisions you are making as a couple and as a family. And sometimes those decisions can hurt other people, without meaning to. So far in our 4 years of marriage, this is a recurring thing that comes up with the people around us, whether it’s with our family, friends, or neighborhood, we’ve had to do more balancing, say “no” a lot more, and even drop some friends.

The Joy I found in my marriage this week: the power of a “thank you.” This week I have been noticing how much we say “Thank you” to each other. Whether it’s something big like bringing home the bacon from work every day, making dinner, or just giving a back scratch. For the whole week, I watched all these back and forth tokens of appreciation change the way we talk to each other, and the way we go about doing things for each other.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: We missed each other while on our separate trips. And that says a lot to me. We both went on separate little trips this past week and we enjoyed them. Trevor’s was for business, and mine was for leisure, haha. We spent only 3 and a half days apart, which felt long for us considering the last time we spent more than one night apart was 3 years ago!

The joy I found in my marriage this week: being reminded of all the family and friends cheering us on. I received two loving reminders this week: I’ve shared here and there that we’re concerned about trying to have kids. I’ll share more on that in another blog post, but basically, the last two weeks the situation we are in has been on the forefront of our minds. The unknown has been worrisome for us, but a text message I received from my mother-in-law this week expressed lots of love letting us know that the family is very supportive and comforting.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: There are still new things to discover about each other. It was my birthday this week and Trevor managed to surprise me with a few things that I feel very blessed to receive. They were things I have told him about and were on my wish list but he just knew the colors, styles, and other specifics I would prefer when it came to these thoughtful gifts.

The Joy I found in my marriage this week: Resiliency! Sometimes we have difficult conversations in marriage, simply because difficult situations happen. Ya know? And sometimes they’re difficult conversations over something that is so little, but our emotions get the best of us. That happened twice this week, haha. We get frustrated with each other sometimes but I’m proud to say we were able to talk it out/let our feelings subside fairly quickly.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: thoughtful surprises! In the past few weeks, a few situations have come up that make me look back on everything it took to get where we are now. We both had to go through a lot of learning and heartbreak before meeting each other, and being ready for each other. Even though you have a few tough minutes of remembering those hard times, it all makes you appreciate your relationship for what it is today, ya know?

The joy I found in my marriage this week: the opportunity to take care of my husband as he has had the flu/cold all week! You might be thinking, “You find taking care of your ill spouse joyful? Not only do you have to do more for them than usual but you have to pick up the slack of things they normally do… I don’t see how that is enjoyable…”

The joy I found in my marriage this week: Seeing a month’s worth of progress from working at our goals! It’s been a month now into the new year, and I have to admit that I didn’t have 100% success every week in my goals. HOWEVER, I can say I have still worked at them and have noticed some differences it has made in my marriage and my own life. And that is the whole point of making and pursuing goals, right?

I feel like a lot of things this week have been telling me “No.” It’s a lot of things that have to do with my physical health mainly, but a few other things as well. Circumstantial things that just happen in the week like having to make two special trips to the grocery store for strawberries, on two different days, and both stores just happen to be completely out of strawberries!

The joy I found in my marriage this week: gratitude. I’ve always been grateful for my husband and felt like I have been blessed with a very extraordinary one. But this week as I become more aware of serious marital struggles others are facing, it has made me realize that our own (as in my husband and I) marital struggles aren’t so significant as we think they are. You read books, watch movies and TV shows, and even hear from others of crappy situations marriages find themselves dealing with like affairs or continual dishonesty, but it doesn’t hit you how real it all is until you’ve actually been married for a few years, and when things happen to people around you.

A joy in our marriage this week (from my perspective): Getting tickets to see U2 in concert this year!!! It’s not only a joy because they are in my top ten of my concert bucket list, but I was proud of my husband for being willing to fly somewhere to go see them with me. You see, he hates flying. [Holding his hand on flights (like the picture above) is a common thing with us because of it, and I don’t mind at all!

Background/reminder This is week 1 of my campaign/project/whatever about focusing on the joys in my marriage. I talked about this whole idea and why in our Christmas card blog post but basically the reasoning for it is this: I don’t like the pressure that comes with trying to be happy. It’s as if we think we aren’t/won’t/can’t be overall happy if the majority of our day had sad or difficult moments.