The struggles happening to everyone right now all over the world due to the Coronavirus Pandemic is so disheartening. It seems like the toll is being taken so harshly on people emotionally or financially. To try and ease the financial burden just a little bit, along with the stress your relationships might be feeling right now, I would love to give a few lucky couples a chance to win some gift card prizes!

Seems weird to wish everyone a happy quarantine/lockdown, but these are the times we live in right now! It seems everyone is affected one way or another from the COVID-19 global pandemic. Some people are affected financially with job loss or revenue. Some people are affected with loss of loved ones or even just the loss of a social life. Some people are missing out on important milestones and celebrated events like weddings and even prom.

This post contains affiliate links to Amazon. Which means Freshly Married can make a small commission on items you buy through these links. People have been asking how I am doing since I have been absent from posting much on the Freshly Married website and social media. And to answer everyone, I am doing GREAT! Some days are anxiety-ridden and November to mid-December we’re pretty tiring ( #sleepregression ). But we have been just enjoying life altogether regardless.

I was able to go to a “Utah Date Night” event with special guest speakers John and Julie Gottman. If you’re not aware of who they are, they are celebrities in the relationships research world! Their credibility is one no one can top, in my opinion. Their resume is extensive including 40 years of research studying couples and creating interventions, exercises, and theories to help distressed couples succeed. I’ve talked about John Gottman’s theories in several articles, “The 5 to 1 ratio,” and “The Four Horsemen.

This post contains affiliate links to Amazon. Which means Freshly Married can make a small commission on items you buy through these links. Well we are pretty much all prepared for our boys to come! At least, with the material items and their room … mentally, I’m not sure yet! Haha. It feels weird that at 31 weeks we already bought everything on our registry that was left over from the generous gifts we received at our baby showers!

Every card game and board game comes with instructions or a manual so that every player can understand how to play the game. Many games have options or different sets of rules for the kind of game you want to play, based on how many players, how competitive you want it, or even desiring a more simple version. Why am I explaining something you probably already know? Because I’m about to relate it to marriage, of course!

A Little Bit of Our Story It took 2.5 years of trying to conceive (TTC) to get to this amazing point of being pregnant with identical twin boys! We feel absolutely blessed that we get two babies as a result of our hard work with the Utah Fertility Center. We did 3 timed intercourse cycles that required more and more pills and shots each time, but lead us to our first try at Intrauterine Insemination (IUI).

**This post contains affiliate links. This means, if you make a purchase through any of these links, we’ll receive a small portion of your purchase at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Freshly Married! Have you ever thought about creativity in your relationship? Hearing that might have some of you thinking, “Uh-oh… I’m not artsy or crafty whatsoever! How is this going to apply to me?

Everything about this pregnancy has been super exciting, not just for us but for our family and friends. I mean, it took us so much to finally get here, but we also get to experience the rare situation of twins! It’s also my in-laws’ first grandbaby so it’s ALL very exciting for them. So of course, we did a gender reveal party to share the sex of our identical twins with our family!

**This post contains affiliate links. This means, if you make a purchase through any of these links, we’ll receive a small portion of your purchase at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Freshly Married! The idea of sharing your hopes and dreams as individuals and as a couple is so meaningful to a relationship! There are so many positives it brings to your life because it’s a very hopeful concept.

Now that the secret is out that I’m pregnant with twins I can finally share my words of the year because it has everything to do with them. :) I say WORDS because I think it’s important to have a goal in mind for you as an individual, and then a goal in mind for your marriage. However you like to do your goals, whether by choosing a specific word to inspire you, a vision board, or simply writing down the goal in a sentence, make sure you are considering how you can strengthen your marriage.

I’ve been so focused on what items to buy for my husband that I forgot about the gift of words that I could give him. Have you ever thought to give your spouse a Christmas card? We can write notes to our spouse on random occasions, or write them a letter for your wedding anniversary, or birthday. But I don’t think many of us use the opportunity of writing them a Christmas card or letter.

This is for crafters AND non-crafters! *this blog post contains affiliate links through Amazon. I’m a huge crafter and designed these gift tags for holiday gifts to some of our neighbors! I own a Cricut machine and have basically had it out all season long doing holiday stuff! I’ve recently ventured out exploring the other design tools it has in the program and using more than just the die-cutting option. YEP IT CAN WRITE.

This post contains affiliate links to Amazon. What’s a “White Elephant” gift? It’s a silly gag gift usually for playing a White Elephant game! How does it work? There’s a pile of gifts, one per person who is playing. Everyone draws a number which decides the order they choose a gift from the pile. If you have 13 people/13 gifts, you’ll have numbers 1-13 to draw from. Starting with person #1, they will choose a gift from the pile to unwrap and reveal to everyone.

When I originally wrote this draft blog post about 4 years ago, I mentioned that our way of doing things with our finances has been very successful for us, and that we didn’t have issues between us due to finances… WELL, then we bought a house, and cars, and started investing in retirement, got fun medical bills, doing our own side businesses, etc. So our finances got a little more complex, and therefore the responsibilities of managing them got a little bit more intense.

***This article contains affiliate links so if you purchase, I make a small percentage of that. How many times do we eat dinner together at home in front of the television, without saying much to each other? We are pretty good at having conversations, but I can’t count how many times we’ve still done this. :) It’s easy to do when we just have the two of us, and we just want to escape from the tasks and stress of the day.

Every birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and wedding anniversary, I find myself googling thoughtful gift ideas that I can buy or make for my spouse. The same thing happens when I want to get a “just because” gift for him, or create a special date night for us. Add these up and we’ve got AT LEAST 5 times throughout the year searching for gift ideas. Over the past few years, I have been keeping track of some awesome finds that interest me or my spouse, and I think most spouses would love too.

Introduction It’s Military Appreciation Month in May, and on May 11th, it is Military Spouse Appreciation Day! Our military does so much for us, along with their spouses! And sometimes they don’t get the gratitude or appreciation they deserve, because we may not fully understand what they experience in their day to day life. We may not realize how differently they have to work their marriage and their family because of the long-distances and demands that are asked of them.

I don’t know any married couple that doesn’t struggle with sexual intimacy problems at SOME point in their marriage. While there are a variety of reasons why problems occur in this department, I believe there are three big areas that contribute to problems: safety, communication, and the influences around us. SAFETY In order to have a healthy sexual communication between you and your spouse, there needs to be strong feelings of safety in the marriage.

I was watching an awesome TED talk from Belgian Psychotherapist, Esther Perel about desire in committed relationships. Specifically talking about having more desire and passion for intimacy. But she mentioned some REALLY great points that completely resonated with me, and I think they will with you too. She talks about how as humans we have two fundamental human needs that conflict with each other when we are in a committed relationship.

Date boxes have been a new thing the past few years, and I think are recently gaining more traction for couples, especially those with busy lives. Last year my husband and I experimented with date boxes to see what they are all about, and to see if they would give us added fun in our marriage :) I wrote an article on how date boxes work, so if you’re not familiar with the concept, check that out.

The day before I came down with a nasty influenza I announced my video course: “How to Navigate Your Differences.” I also said that to celebrate I was going to do an awesome giveaway prize, and then… well the flu. Haha. And then it was my birthday so here we are now! I just want to say that I have been so excited about this video course, because it’s so applicable for ALL marriages, no matter what stage you are in, or how deep your problems are!

The Wife Life Workshop was held on Saturday afternoon, January 20, 2018, at the Miller Conference Center in Sandy, Utah. More than 40 wives came together to be uplifted and enriched in the many hats they wear as a wife! I wanted to give a little glimpse into what these workshops are like! Every workshop will cover different topics, and is a new experience! Here’s what took place at this one :)

The learning curve I think one of the biggest learning curves of newlyweds is decision-making. Of course, you had to make decisions before when you were dating and engaged, but it can be different because the stakes are different. And I think when a person is so smitten with someone, they are more likely to bend to the other person, haha. The biggest difference when it comes to decision making in marriage is that you now have so many things you’re making decisions about, all involving and affecting the other person.

Most people don’t know the underlying reason for Freshly Married being here. It’s because relationship education is important! And yet so many people have either never heard of it before, are intimidated by it, scared of it, or assume it means you have relationship problems you need help with. WELL NEWSFLASH, WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS! haha. But really. Because I believe passionately that relationship education is a helpful tool for all relationships, not just marriage, I want to explain what relationship education is while addressing some misunderstandings so that you can feel more comfortable with seeking help.

If you’ve been following along this past year, every week I’ve been writing a blog post each week specifically about a joy that I have found in my marriage that week. Well, that project is now done with, and I don’t know if I’ve ever been as consistent with a project like this before, especially one that is every week for a whole year! You can read here why I started this project in the first place.

This is going to be the last blog post I write about what new joys I have found in my marriage week to week. Next week’s joy will be sharing my overall thoughts of this project, so look forward to that! The joy I found in my marriage this week is how we are goal-oriented and encourage growth in each other. One of the ways that we did this is through sharing goals with each other for the new year.

We have been feeling some joy this past week and I’m not quite sure how to sum it up into one word, but I think it could be summarized into patience and clarity. Patience usually is not a joyous word, haha, but it is when you have achieved patience, right? Well this weekend we got a new car! It’s one I’ve been eyeing for awhile now and even test-drove it over a year ago.

I have about 4 more of these blog posts left of this #ajoyfulmarriage project, and I realized I haven’t shared about a major aspect of our marriage that brings us so much joy! It’s one that initially, I felt sad I hadn’t mentioned yet, but realized that this time of year brings it out even more, so it worked out saving it until now :) Our spirituality brings us me so much joy in our marriage, and I’m pretty sure my husband feels joy from it too.

Something I believe both my husband and I find joy in for our marriage, is going out to eat — enjoying quality-made meals and trying new foods. I know it sounds funny but this is something we care about! I mean, it’s something you do 3+ times a day, so it matters, right?! He loves getting the chance to eat food that I don’t know how to cook well, and I love the opportunity for someone skilled to make us dinner, haha.

A quality in our marriage that brings me joy is our ability to count our blessings. We are good at that. And I don’t mean that in the literal counting sense, as if we are keeping track and pouting if we didn’t have as many as we did last month, lol. I just meant that in a way that we can find a positive spin to situations, or find things to be thankful for, even amidst times of trials.

We are all well aware that while the holiday season can be a wonderful time of year spent with loved ones, it can also bring with it some stress. Just a few examples: spending hours trying to make your house look festive; thinking of the perfect gifts for family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers, then having to go get those gifts and wrap them, while trying to not spend a fortune; making special food for the celebrations; and feeling pressure to make special memories.

Our church offers a Sunday school class on the topic of marriage and family, and the lesson yesterday reminded me of something in our marriage that brings us joy: the value we see in each other. I wanted to share this interesting object lesson the teacher used and why I loved it! One of the teachers held up a gold dollar coin and said that it represented us being “one” in our marriage.

I like to think my DIY skills and creativity bless our marriage for the better :) If we’re talking about it bringing joy to my marriage, it sure does because I fully enjoy doing little thoughtful surprises/projects like this one I did for hubby this week. We have this thing called “ultimate couch bed” that we like to do periodically throughout the year. Particularly when there are some movie marathons of tv show binge watching or someone is sick and we know we will be on the couch all weekend :) It’s where we rearrange our couch sectional pieces in the living room to form one giant couch right in front of the TV.

A characteristic about the both of us that brings me joy in our marriage is that we both are practical thinkers. This may seem like a boring trait to find joy in but if you are a person who struggles with anxiety and worries over little things, it could cause more anxiety to be with someone who constantly makes irrational decisions on a whim, haha. Since we both can relate to those worrisome feelings, I feel like we can rely on each other in a comforting way.

I was recently reading an old interview with actress Jennifer Garner in Vanity Fair on her marriage to Ben Affleck. As you probably know, they split up after ten years of marriage, sadly. It’s something that I can tell she really wanted to work out, especially already having a previous divorce under her belt. She said some very mature and admirable things about their marriage and their divorce, but her overall statement made my heart break with confusion.

It’s getting harder to be vulnerable week to week sharing details about our marriage, but I committed to this project at the beginning of the year, and I know it’s helping me train my outlook on marriage for the better! There are only about 10 more weeks left of this project and it’s so interesting seeing things progress. I’m definitely a fan of personal exercises or campaigns that challenge you for a period of time in a way that strengthens and improves yourself as an individual.

A Joy that I found in my marriage this week is a joy I have felt before, but since it happened a few times this week, I think it’s been on my mind more. It’s sort of embarrassing to share, but I snore sometimes when I sleep, haha. I’m blaming it on all my sinus issues though! I had sinus surgery about 3 weeks ago, and though I have been doing so much better than we expected, I still have a little bit of inflammation here and there.

A divorce is an event that affects so many people and for years to come. It’s something very common, yet it’s very scary to talk about for many people. It’s a topic I’ve been wanting to tackle for awhile, but contains so many aspects to cover. I’ve always been curious about how children, adolescents, and adult children have been affected by their parents’ divorce. So I’ve enlisted the help of some amazing women who are kind enough to share their experiences with you, to give you better insight into this particular family situation.

If you didn’t catch part 1 reading some great insight and advice from both Brooke and Kristin, you should go read that! I asked them to share what their parents’ divorce was like on them at age 13, and how they navigate the effects of that divorce currently, now that they are married themselves. This Spotlight Part 2 perspective is getting some insight from two women who were adults and married or almost married when their parents got a divorce.

We got our wedding rings cut off this week. Sounds weird, I know, but it feels even weirder! Both of our rings have gotten tighter since we first got married, making them harder to take off. After my husband was reading on how that can be dangerous to not be able to take off our rings, he decided he wanted to get a new ring and I totally understand. I wasn’t planning on it when we got to the jeweler, but we ended up cutting my ring off too and are getting it resized.

I’ve been recovering from Sinus Surgery #2 the past week, and going into it I didn’t think I would have a lot to feel joyous about because the first surgery’s recovery was horrible. However, the surgery itself went so well, and the recovery afterward was so well that I didn’t need to use painkillers hardly. That’s a huge win in my book. And even though I experienced a lot of pain a week later due to airplane air pressure, I’m still feeling joy that I was able to recover as well as I did!

The Joy I found in my marriage this week is simply little surprises that mean so much! This joy kind of spans over the past two weeks when my husband gifted me with a massage! I really needed it and they are just my weakness. My body needs it. My mind needs it. So this was a gift I was eager to use. The other “gift” was a computer monitor for my office.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: cute banter :) We love being silly with each other, just like any other couple! Because it’s fun to tease each other, right? I gotta share a memorable one from this week :) Whenever I give my husband a piece of gum, he ALWAYS gives me the wrapper, haha. Sometimes it happens when there’s an obvious trash can near by or he has a pocket he can stick it in himself.

This joy is going to AGAIN sound familiar… trying new things together, or just things that we grew up doing but haven’t done since we’ve been together. We went to a little Idaho getaway with family this weekend and had a blast doing a whole bunch of outdoorsy adventurous things we haven’t yet experienced together, like riding on four-wheelers,fishing and shooting. It’s weird that in our 5 years of being together, 4 years of that in marriage, we haven’t done these things yet, even though both of our families are outdoor sports adventurists.

*This post contains affiliate links. A very common complaint among married couples, especially couples that have sexual intimacy problems, is that one spouse seems to want or enjoy sex more than their spouse does. This scenario is a difficult one to provide a one-size-fits-all answer to because there are two different perspectives, with a variety of possible reasons or causes of this gap, and a variety of ideas on how to tackle this situation!

I’m happy to say that I’ve truly felt some joys this past week that have left me feeling content with life and my marriage! I have found joy in letting things go. I’m trying to not take disagreements so personally, and it allows us to roll them off our back more. I’m also trying to let go of things I can’t change – specifically the fact that I have to have a second sinus surgery in a few weeks.

I’m still shocked about Chris Pratt and Anna Farris splitting up 😩. Being a celebrity and being married is not easy. I’ve written about how celebrity marriages face different struggles than everyday marriages face. Even though their marriage ultimately ended, I’m still obsessed with this marriage advice he gave, “At least touch toes.” If you’ve read it, I hope you can see the sense he makes. I also see so much of the learning that took place to discover this tip himself.

The times when I think marriage can get the toughest is when spouses are not sharing the same viewpoint, or when one spouse is struggling physically or mentally. Both of these tough situations are prevalent in a marriage that has one or both spouses struggling with mental illness. As I’ve shared in a few articles on depression, it’s not easy for either spouse to handle, and it truly can affect your marriage in the short-term AND long-term of your relationship.

The Joy I found in my marriage this week is trying new things. And this one is going to be funny because it has to do with trying new foods, which I am not very good at. A few weeks ago my husband even said to me, “When I ask if you want to try some of my food and you say, ‘No, I want you to enjoy it” I get that means you don’t want to try it.

Back to School InterviewThis is inspired by an email newsletter I received titled, “Interviews aren’t just for adults,” where I saw a cute picture of a kid holding up one of those back to school/all about me interview papers that people tend to do with their kids every year. And I instantly had a contradicting thought: “Back to school interviews aren’t just for kids!” haha. Which then inspired a great thought…

Exactly a year and one week ago today we sat on this rock and made an important decision to start trying to have children. With it being a year of trying and discouragement, it’s technically now considered an infertility journey. It’s crazy how you can talk about infertility with other people and learn about it, but when it becomes more real for you personally, it becomes this really hard thing to say out loud, or even type.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: that feeling when you kiss and make-up. You all know the feeling I’m referring to because you’ve felt it yourselves many times, I’m sure of it! It sucks when you disappoint each other because you don’t agree on something. But it’s also a reality of marriage because you are two different people joining your lives together. It still doesn’t feel good to hit that low, but man is it good to go back and hit that high :)

It’s not easy to see your friends go through hard struggles, especially when it comes to such an important relationship like marriage. It’s also not easy to be the confidant, the person they choose to share their marital struggles with. Though I think you should try avoiding involving your friends in the personal details of your marriage, it’s a reality that friends will confide in you and you will confide in them.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, but primarily this week, how grateful I am to have the husband that I have. He’s very patient with me on weeks that I fall short, where I complain a lot, and don’t do the usual things that I do. And yet he gives me a break, realizing some of the emotional stresses I’m under, and also tries to help pick up my slack.

Recently, someone in church said something that completely resonated with me in so many ways, and I instantly started writing a bunch of thoughts on it that I had. I want to share those with you! She talked about how we sometimes look at people as obstacles, and how doing so gives us such a negative attitude and perspective on our situations with them. Hearing that really hit me and I think it’s because of the context it was in–relating obstacles to people, especially the people whom we have close relationships with.

This week has been mostly anxiety, over an array of things, people, and situations. It’s put me off my normal self, since last Sunday. For those of you who also deal with this, I’m sure you can understand how frustrating it can be. In week’s like this, it can be difficult to find something to be joyous about. But I did. I found joy in my husband continuously being patient with me through it.

One of the joys I found in my marriage this week has been on how I’ve consistently stuck with this project every week and how it has benefited my marriage! I’m not very good with journaling sometimes, but this particular project and having the blogging accountability to do it has helped me continue it. Not saying that this project has been hard, but I’m not as consistent in my other kind of journaling, haha.

I’ve written a lot about date nights: giving ideas, stressing how important it is, but that it doesn’t have to be epic. Well since “date night” isn’t as simple as you think, I’ve got more to say about it, of course! I’ve been watching cooking shows lately, and have heard the term “elevate” be used a lot. It’s described as like adding an extra element or level to your dish that gives it a kick to stand out from the typical version of that dish.

I don’t really like to say we are a mom or dad to our dog Oli, but we do take care of him and parent him in lots of ways. I didn’t think I would ever be a “dog parent” but I’ve been finding myself glad that it happened. And I don’t want to be one of those people that posts everything on their dog, haha, but I can’t deny the fact that he has brought me some joy this week that directly relates to my marriage, so I’m gonna write about it!

Introduction: Amberly of A Prioritized Marriage, is someone I absolutely look up to when it comes to marriage! I instantly fell in love with her message and admired the educated expertise she brings to her platform. She is someone I want you to hear from, so I asked Amberly a few questions to answer for you! She gives great responses that not only demonstrate her important message of making the relationship with your spouse a priority, but she shares specific actions on how to do that.

Today is my husband’s 26th birthday! Crazy enough, it happens to also be week 26 of this project, too! I love coincidences like that. And it works out well because the joy I have found in my marriage this week, is having that feeling like we know each other pretty well for our birthdays. We’ve celebrated 5 birthdays together now, which is 10 birthdays total! Weird when you think about it in total numbers, right?

I’m almost half way through this project to live a more joyful marriage! It’s been such a good exercise for me to do each week because sometimes I have to think a little harder about the joys in life and in marriage. And that has helped me see things deeper in our relationship. There have been a few things in our marriage this week that has brought me joy! :) But one main thing that I have found joy in this week was in our ultimate cereal date night on Friday!

HAPPY FOUR YEARS! Four years ago today, I wrote my very first blog post on Freshly Married, called “The Iron,” about a lesson I learned with an iron (obviously), that taught me what it truly means to be a good wife, even though I had only been married for a few short weeks. Though we’ve been married for longer now and have had several more tough experiences than this one, this iron experience helped launch the message behind Freshly Married, which you can read more about here.

Discussing the topic of dying is kind of depressing, I know. But death is also a reality. And unfortunately, for so many couples, it becomes a reality too early on in their marriage, and so unexpectedly. You can only prepare so much in these situations, but guess what? Making a will is something that you CAN prepare for. After learning about wills and estates in a family finances class, I started realizing how important it is to have a will in place for your family’s protection, especially if you have many assets you want to leave behind for your spouse and children.

This picture from last October is one of the most fun moments with some of my family members. While the boys were taking pictures with the photographer, the girls were scheming and did a surprise silly string attack on them! It was really funny and it brings me to the joy I had this week. :) The joy I found in my marriage this week: Effortless, no pressure fun. That seems like something obvious, and yet it’s something that can be easily taken for granted.

The joy I found in my marriage this week was my husband getting a new job that he was so happy about! I’ve kind of shared it mysteriously on here because we didn’t want to say anything until we had good news, but my husband actually got laid off his job a month ago. The decision was based on saving money, not on his performance whatsoever. It was very unexpected and very inconvenient in the timing.

We have been in our house for almost 3 years, this August! It’s awesome to think back on how far we have come with putting it together, and making it feel like HOME. I recently made an accomplishment with our house that I’m quite proud of – I FINALLY finished decorating and furnishing our home! This event has made me think about the home furnishing and decorating process, what I liked that I did, and what I would do differently.

The joy I found in my marriage this week is seeing the door to parenthood open wider. There were two reasons for this joy. This has been our first full week with our new dog, Oli. And though Trevor does most of the responsibilities, we’ve both had our eyes further opened to what being a parent is like. Being a “dog parent” I guess you could say, is a great segway into being a parent for a human, haha.

Introduction How many people can say one of their close childhood friends are in a band; a SUCCESSFUL band at that?! I’m lucky enough to have her examples in my life of going after your dreams while being a wife and a parent, which is not easy to balance, as many of us know! Because of the frequent traveling between the two of them, she has learned what helps to keep their marriage fresh through the distance and gives great advice on how they have managed that.

The joy I found in my marriage this week was adding this little guy to our family :) I’ll preface the story of this joy by saying that I did not think I would ever have a dog, or any pet for that matter. I’ve specifically told people I won’t have a pet, haha. I grew up with quite a variety of pets and I guess it just never became a passion of mine.

This weekend, I was able to do something that is #1 on my bucket list after having a family: See U2 live in concert! And we made it happen! To hear them live made me feel so blessed to be there because I just love and appreciate their music so much! They put on an incredible and entertaining show for their fans! It was exhilarating, anxious, and wonderful all in one if that make sense?

My husband and I tried out different date boxes to give you an idea of what each one offers! This blog post is sharing our experiences with the “Crated With Love” date box company, giving you better insight into what their boxes are like. If you are unfamiliar with date boxes in general, read this previous blog post explaining everything about them - what they are, as well as the pros and cons.

My husband and I tried out different date boxes to give you an idea of what each one offers! This blog post is sharing our experiences with the “Date Night In” date box company, giving you better insight into what their boxes are like. If you are unfamiliar with date boxes in general, read this previous blog post explaining everything about them - what they are, as well as the pros and cons.

My husband and I tried out different date boxes to give you an idea of what each one offers! This blog post is sharing our experiences with the “Datelivery” date box company, giving you better insight into what their boxes are like. If you are unfamiliar with date boxes in general, read this previous blog post explaining everything about them - what they are, as well as the pros and cons.

My husband and I tried out different date boxes to give you an idea of what each one offers! This blog post is sharing our experiences with the “Unbox Love” date box company, giving you better insight into what their boxes are like. If you are unfamiliar with date boxes in general, read this previous blog post explaining everything about them - what they are, as well as the pros and cons.

Date boxes are planned and created date nights that are focused on creating an entertaining and connecting date for you and your spouse! If you’re unfamiliar with date boxes, I’ll give you the rundown on the basics of what they are, the pros and cons, as well as the varieties out there you can choose from! Date boxes are mostly focused on indoor dates, which are great for winter, or for spending time together after the kids are in bed so you don’t have to pay for a babysitter.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: feeling a positive difference in our lives and our relationship. It’s a good feeling when both of you notice that your interactions and overall days feel different from the past few months. I think one of the biggest things that we both appreciated and found joy in was how we focused more on “listening to understand” when we discussed specific subjects. I’ve always known this principle but sometimes you just need to be reminded, right?

We’ve all been there You’re on a much-needed date night out, away from work, home, and the kids (if you have them). Whatever the activity you’re doing, there is time for conversations to happen and somehow the conversation ends up being any or all of the following scenarios: Talking too much business stuff - the kids’ schedules, work stress, etc. Not knowing what to talk about, especially if you think you know everything about each other already Bringing up issues that start an argument I think we’ve all found ourselves in one of these situations on our date nights before.

I had a couple of joys I found in my marriage this week. I’ll just share one of them though. I found joy in our outside date night we had this week. We both took some of the day off for some time with each other and we chose to go to a food truck round-up at our nearby lake. The weather was kind of perfect with it not being too hot, not too cold but just the right amount of breeze.

When you’re in the middle of a fight or disagreement and things get heated, uncomfortable, or you just can’t find a mutual solution, what do you do? Some spouses let their frustrations escalate to the point where they say things they later regret. Sometimes one spouse completely shuts down and stops talking altogether. Sometimes the conflict never gets discussed again because the issue caused so much stress and problems. What’s interesting, about that, is this IMPORTANT thing to remember:

Before I tell you the joy I found in my marriage this week, I need to preface it by saying that sometimes you can be so consistently down (#depression) that it’s hard to find joy in things. When you’re done being so hard on yourself every day, we tend to jump to the person next to us and blame our unhappiness on them. Which means … our spouse. We start to let the little imperfections in our marriages feel like big imperfections and it’s not OK.

Maddie and Jake Topham are newlyweds living in Cedar City, Utah, and have been married for four months. On their story, she said this: “He’s my best friend. We went to high school together but back then I didn’t think I would marry him. Life took us on different paths for a little while until we met up again a few years later and we were married. We’re the happiest we’ve ever been!

Something that I found joy in is actually something that initially bugs me. And others may not understand it but I’ve just gotta share this thought. Stop devaluing your relationship with your spouse This week I’ve heard many people say things like, “I don’t remember what life was like before our kids.” and other similar phrases. And it makes me sad when people say that, believe it or not. I get that it’s a loving way of trying to say that children have enriched your life in a way that you would never want to change, and that you can’t imagine life without them.

*This post contains affiliate links. I think two big questions that married couples, especially newlyweds, have on their minds when it comes to sex are: How often or frequent should we be having sex? Does more sex make for a happier marriage? I’m going to give some insight that can help answer these two questions if you have been asking them yourself! THE FACTS + FINDINGS There are several studies that have been done out there to determine what the “magic number” is for answering this question.

The joy I focused on in my marriage this week: that I have the power and influence of Christ in my relationship. I would say “found” in my marriage like I normally do, but the thing is I’ve always known it. It’s just that I have daily reminders on weeks like this one, preparing for Easter. In the blog post: “Christlike Attributes and my Marriage,” I’ve shared about the ways that his wonderful examples have positively influenced the way that we interact with each other.

Last month, I read an article about parents needing to be their child’s “first responder” in a crisis. What they meant is that the first reaction shouldn’t be to yell at them for the situation, but instead, you should first help them. I can absolutely attest that this concept works because my parents did this for me as a teenager. Since I have always loved this concept, I applied this idea to marriage, of course!

The joy I found in my marriage this week: doing service together. Yesterday we went to a Latter-Day Saint temple together to do some service, since it’s been like 4 or 5 months since we last went. When we first got married we made a goal to go once a month because we feel spiritually lifted individually and in our marriage when we go. We kept that up for about the first two years, but the past two years it has been about every 6-10 weeks.

*This post contains affiliate links. In March I did a live video on Facebook talking about different books on sexual intimacy that I would recommend to couples. There was great feedback on that video, and it sounded like several people appreciated it! So I wanted to make sure it was published on my website for others to access as well. I only share three books in this video, but I think they are so great for helping couples enrich their sexual intimacy, whether this part of their marriage is heavily struggling, or they could just use some more insight.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: Unity. Not everyone is going to agree with the decisions you are making as a couple and as a family. And sometimes those decisions can hurt other people, without meaning to. So far in our 4 years of marriage, this is a recurring thing that comes up with the people around us, whether it’s with our family, friends, or neighborhood, we’ve had to do more balancing, say “no” a lot more, and even drop some friends.

THE SPECIAL OCCASION PRESSURES The night before Valentine’s Day, we were talking about our holiday plans and my husband voiced to me that he has spent hours over the past few weeks trying to figure out a special activity for us to do for Valentine’s Day that wasn’t something we had already done or that feels “same ole, same ole” like going to the movies. We even have a STRONG bucket list of so many more date night activities to try, but sometimes those ideas don’t work well with the season or other facts.

The Joy I found in my marriage this week: the power of a “thank you.” This week I have been noticing how much we say “Thank you” to each other. Whether it’s something big like bringing home the bacon from work every day, making dinner, or just giving a back scratch. For the whole week, I watched all these back and forth tokens of appreciation change the way we talk to each other, and the way we go about doing things for each other.

I asked Kinsey the following question: “How has having children changed your relationship for the better and how has it challenged your relationship?” What she answered with was absolutely amazing insight and advice when it comes to balancing parenthood and marriage. She also shared the very personal and difficult challenges of battling severe Postpartum Depression and how she plans to handle that with their third baby on the way. All of this makes Kinsey a warrior woman in my eyes!

The joy I found in my marriage this week: We missed each other while on our separate trips. And that says a lot to me. We both went on separate little trips this past week and we enjoyed them. Trevor’s was for business, and mine was for leisure, haha. We spent only 3 and a half days apart, which felt long for us considering the last time we spent more than one night apart was 3 years ago!

*This post contains affiliate links. I think one of the biggest hangups a couple can have when it comes to their sex life is not understanding their own sexuality first. It makes me sad that so many married people don’t even understand this huge part of their life and who they are. Which is like, the basis of a satisfying sex life for both husband and wife! Why it’s important SOOOO I want to talk just a little bit about this.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: being reminded of all the family and friends cheering us on. I received two loving reminders this week: I’ve shared here and there that we’re concerned about trying to have kids. I’ll share more on that in another blog post, but basically, the last two weeks the situation we are in has been on the forefront of our minds. The unknown has been worrisome for us, but a text message I received from my mother-in-law this week expressed lots of love letting us know that the family is very supportive and comforting.

#freshfridays quote asking “Have you had your six-second kiss today?” I don’t think we should look at the word ‘potential’ with an eye-roll, because it doesn’t mean a long kiss has to lead to sex. An extra long kiss is just more special than the quick kiss goodbye or quick kiss when getting home from work. So I think the ‘potential’ he’s referring to is focused more on how that kind of intentional and more meaningful kiss can lead to a more meaningful relationship; more meaningful days together; more meaningful emotional intimacy.

*This post contains affiliate links. I truly believe in selflessness. I’ve spoken about this before on different videos and blog post topics because pride or selflessness influences every single aspect of marriage! I believe that when both spouses are being selfless, it can begin this beautiful cycle of deeper connection and more physical satisfaction. What was that last feeling? Physical satisfaction? YEP. Let’s talk about it! To apply this “cycle” to sexual intimacy, if you are putting your spouse first, wanting them to have a satisfying experience, they will want to give you a satisfying experience right back.

The joy I found in my marriage this week: There are still new things to discover about each other. It was my birthday this week and Trevor managed to surprise me with a few things that I feel very blessed to receive. They were things I have told him about and were on my wish list but he just knew the colors, styles, and other specifics I would prefer when it came to these thoughtful gifts.

This is the beauty of marriage right here. I remember being single not having a consistent person to rely on. Yes, I had loving family and friends but they also have their own lives and their own problems. In marriage, though, your spouse becomes your number one priority and so you get to experience that loving feeling of being taken care of. There are days where I feel bad that my husband has to deal with my bad days whether I’m either emotionally down in the dumps, or just not feeling well physically.

The Joy I found in my marriage this week: Resiliency! Sometimes we have difficult conversations in marriage, simply because difficult situations happen. Ya know? And sometimes they’re difficult conversations over something that is so little, but our emotions get the best of us. That happened twice this week, haha. We get frustrated with each other sometimes but I’m proud to say we were able to talk it out/let our feelings subside fairly quickly.

I’ve been wanting to do some exciting things for the #monthoflove, which means GIVEAWAYS! And I wanna do something BIG! I want to give 5 lucky winners a WIFE LIFE t-shirt! Yes, that means I’m giving away 5 t-shirts total, which is over $100 in prizes! If you haven’t seen these t-shirts, they look like this: Want to show you’re a proud wifey?! Or do you want to be thoughtful and try winning it for your wife?

The joy I found in my marriage this week: thoughtful surprises! In the past few weeks, a few situations have come up that make me look back on everything it took to get where we are now. We both had to go through a lot of learning and heartbreak before meeting each other, and being ready for each other. Even though you have a few tough minutes of remembering those hard times, it all makes you appreciate your relationship for what it is today, ya know?

The joy I found in my marriage this week: the opportunity to take care of my husband as he has had the flu/cold all week! You might be thinking, “You find taking care of your ill spouse joyful? Not only do you have to do more for them than usual but you have to pick up the slack of things they normally do… I don’t see how that is enjoyable…”

*This post contains affiliate links. I don’t know a marriage that doesn’t give cards or love notes to each other for special occasions or even just for no reason at all! They can seem boring sometimes unless you get a funny one, or one that just has that unique factor… WELL. I’m going to show you how to make the EASIEST unique card you’ve ever seen! It folds and opens in a fun way, you can make at home with supplies you most likely have laying around, and you can embellish it however you want!

The joy I found in my marriage this week: Seeing a month’s worth of progress from working at our goals! It’s been a month now into the new year, and I have to admit that I didn’t have 100% success every week in my goals. HOWEVER, I can say I have still worked at them and have noticed some differences it has made in my marriage and my own life. And that is the whole point of making and pursuing goals, right?

One day I was flipping through an article on long-lasting celebrity couples, and each couple said something that has helped them be successful in their marriage. Some of the reasons were good, but this one by actor Bryan Cranston (from TV shows Malcolm in the Middle, and Breaking Bad) and his wife of 27 years stuck out to me. Whether or not couples therapy is successful for them (it seems like it is since they are still married), this statement is so powerful!

To say there are so many stereotypes and stigmas out there associated with therapists and therapy is an understatement. Therapists are often portrayed in movies and TV shows as jokes, and I’m not sure why, because seeking help for your mental and emotional state of mind is not a casual or comical thing! It’s also just as important to keep yourself emotionally healthy as it is to keep yourself physically healthy!

I am sharing my experiences because I believe that the more positively we talk about therapy, the less stigma attached to it, and the more likely people are to seek help and actually get the help they need. I have seen a therapist at two different times in my life, and each time was for emotionally difficult situations. I ask for your sensitivity as I get very vulnerable here! (Just to preface this, I’ll refer to both counseling and therapy as one sometimes, just so it’s more simple to read, but the two professions are slightly different.

I feel like a lot of things this week have been telling me “No.” It’s a lot of things that have to do with my physical health mainly, but a few other things as well. Circumstantial things that just happen in the week like having to make two special trips to the grocery store for strawberries, on two different days, and both stores just happen to be completely out of strawberries!

The joy I found in my marriage this week: gratitude. I’ve always been grateful for my husband and felt like I have been blessed with a very extraordinary one. But this week as I become more aware of serious marital struggles others are facing, it has made me realize that our own (as in my husband and I) marital struggles aren’t so significant as we think they are. You read books, watch movies and TV shows, and even hear from others of crappy situations marriages find themselves dealing with like affairs or continual dishonesty, but it doesn’t hit you how real it all is until you’ve actually been married for a few years, and when things happen to people around you.

My heart hurts every time I hear my friends, neighbors, etc. tell me that their parents still don’t approve of their spouse. It’s hard to listen to them tell me things like, “They think he isn’t good enough for me” or “They tried to break us up.” These kinds of family situations frustrate me primarily because HELLO PARENTS, IT’S AFTER-THE-FACT! THEY HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR YEARS NOW, SO PUT ASIDE YOUR OWN FEELINGS AND SUPPORT THEM INSTEAD OF DISCOURAGE THEM!

A joy in our marriage this week (from my perspective): Getting tickets to see U2 in concert this year!!! It’s not only a joy because they are in my top ten of my concert bucket list, but I was proud of my husband for being willing to fly somewhere to go see them with me. You see, he hates flying. [Holding his hand on flights (like the picture above) is a common thing with us because of it, and I don’t mind at all!

I love playing with sparklers in the summer! They are a fun burst of energy and warmth, and have totally “sparked” a comparison for me to marriage! Some couples at various points in their marriage, lose those fun, romantic sparks. Sadly, some of these couples wait around for the sparks to come back again on their own, which rarely happens. I think they wait around because it seems like a daunting task, right?

Background/reminder This is week 1 of my campaign/project/whatever about focusing on the joys in my marriage. I talked about this whole idea and why in our Christmas card blog post but basically the reasoning for it is this: I don’t like the pressure that comes with trying to be happy. It’s as if we think we aren’t/won’t/can’t be overall happy if the majority of our day had sad or difficult moments.

First of all, Happy New Year!!! We are on a Caribbean cruise ringing in the new year, so it’s a little belated from me! That’s also the reason why we just barely did our annual dinner date night where we share and discuss our goals for the year together. We typically do it on New Year’s Eve but we felt like saving it until we got home from our trip. Especially because this fun stuff was going on!

Since this is our 3rd attempt at Christmas cards, I kinda feel like I got it right. Maybe! I didn’t feel like I could put together a newsletter super quickly even though I already had our template from last year. Something inside me suggested making it somewhat more simple this year. But I like to give more than just the picture of us with a small Christmas phrase with our names on it.

My friend Kiley is someone I have known for years and is someone I strongly look up to as a wife, a mother, but also an incredibly strong person who stands firm with a faith that everything will work out. This past year they struggled through 4 months of unemployment after having their second child and I know that was something difficult to experience for their family and their marriage. However, it also brought blessings, too.

I LOVE PLAYING GAMES!!! They are just my jam. I get so excited when we get together with friends or family who want to play games because we don’t get to play those 3+ player games at home! Over the past four years together, we have managed to find some two-player games to play at home, but we get bored of them real quick. Since every couple needs to have some games to turn to, especially in the winter time, I figured I would make one big list for us all!

I don’t think I’ll ever stop getting inspired by quotes that remind me to look for the lesson through hard times! If we apply this to marriage, I think the opportunity that #alberteinstein is talking about here are the opportunities to learn something about yourself, your spouse, or the issue. If our difficulty is disagreeing on something important, I get the chance to see another perspective I didn’t see before. I also get the chance to analyze myself and how I can improve.

Think back to the last time you had to drive somewhere for hours. Your foot is tired from driving so much and you just want to give it some rest. When you’re on a long stretch of road with few cars around or potential hazards, you want to turn on cruise control, right? This mechanism with a car has its pros: it can save gas and it keeps your driving consistent.

Today is a special day :) Four years ago on October 25th, Trevor and I made our relationship official. See, it was declared on facebook so it was official … haha This morning I went through my old journal from that time we were first dating and it was so special to go back and read all of that. I obviously knew our timeline and the words we said but there was something so tender about reading about it all, and especially my feelings during the rise of our relationship.

It’s no secret that this upcoming presidential election has got everyone on the edge of their seats, whether they strongly are for a candidate, are so against any candidates, or just don’t know what to think. Even people that like to stay away from politics are forming opinions. It’s been … interesting… right? One sad thing I’ve seen so far is all of the contention and even malice towards people with different political views.

This quote below is great to remember in times of disconnection and conflict. We try to look on their surface for any emotion to provide us with answers, but what’s showing on the outside might not be how they actually feel or think. You may think “He looks like he could care less right now! He’s stone-cold to me and doesn’t care about a resolution OR ME!” That might be what it looks like on the surface.

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“287187167” ] On a weekend, recently, I was looking at the Instagram stories in my feed and one came up that bothered me. Someone snapped (I guess that’s a word now) their entire date night on both Instagram and Snapchat. I don’t have Snapchat, but I know this because the captions on Instagram were encouraging followers to also go over there to watch other parts from their date.

There are many choices and decisions to make that come throughout every marriage. Which is why I love this #freshfridays quote. When we make choices based on our fears it’s coming from a place of doubt. But when we make choices based on our hopes, it’s coming from a place of faith. Total opposites that can greatly change an attitude and even an outcome, right? I’ve been working on changing this way of thinking for myself lately.

Actor Chris Pratt just did and said some things about marriage and family that are too good not to share! Two things spoke out to me in this short article and I wanted to share those! (If you are short on time, go to #2, though!) TWO THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THIS: I love seeing couples make sacrifices for their marriage and family, whether small or large. To the rest of us middle class couples, taking 6 months off work to spend with your family is a BIG sacrifice, one that so few could afford to do anyways!

***GIVEAWAY HAS ENDED, WINNERS ANNOUNCED AT THE END OF THE POST*** Since summer is officially over, I wanted to cheer us up with a giveaway! I am giving away TWO of my “Wife Life is The Best Life” t-shirts! Woot woot! We know ya’ll want to rock this shirt right now. ESPECIALLY all those newlyweds who just got married this summer ;) You get to choose between these two shirt styles here.

After about a month of plotting, pinteresting, sketching, researching, purchasing, ironing, cutting, pinning, sewing, unpicking, and sewing again, I FINISHED MY HUSBAND’S QUILT! It turned out so well, and best of all, he loved it and appreciated it so much when I surprised him with it! WHY Last year my MIL made me a beautiful triangle quilt, and it’s been so comfy and matches our color scheme so well! I’ve been wanting Trev to have a specially-made blanket as well.

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“282755491” ] Back in the dating life, I knew a few girls who would shy away from dating guys who played video games, simply because they instantly thought of it associated with a lazy, preoccupied husband. I have to admit that I dated a guy who played video games and at times I felt second to him because of it. So I can see where they got their judgements.

If you want ^^this^^ you gotta be willing to work for it [sc name=“soundcloud” id=“282494134” ] When people say that marriage is “hard work” (which it is!), it’s important to explain what kind of work that means so newlyweds don’t think exhaustion and stress is all they are getting into! I think it’s hard work because it’s a commitment that you’ve never encountered before. Our friends mean so much to all of us.

When life gets busy, it’s easy to just keep going and going, working at that to-do list. We let the little greetings we give to each other be enough. But you can’t go DAYS without truly talking with your spouse. Each of you NEEDS that. Whatever time of day it is that you are reading this, take that important pause in your busy schedule to ask your spouse how they are doing, in their day, in their week, or even in their current personal struggle.

Social media can make it seem like our marriages aren’t fun or entertaining enough, as if the time we do get with each other doesn’t matter if it wasn’t elaborate, if it wasn’t longer than an hour, or if the weekend was spent inside even though it’s beautiful outside. It’s easy to feel like that when your life is busy, or if there is something lacking in your relationship. My friend and Mr.

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“282059984” ] Last month I heard something on funny on the radio in regards to marriage and wanted to share it :) The DJ said that if you’re having problems in your marriage, you don’t need to “throw your money away at an expensive therapist,” but instead just watch a romantic movie together at home and talk about it after… I know he’s probably getting this from some stupid article that came up recently, but for reals?

Super excited to announce that Freshly Married now has a t-shirt line on Etsy! I love this phrase because though being a spouse has its difficult moments, it’s still such a rewarding life! This phrase is all about looking at the positive in marriage! There have been a few rough things we’ve had to experience in our marriage, but even in those times I find myself taking on this mindset, that the good outweighs the bad, and that I wouldn’t rather be with anyone else :)

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“282060301” ] This question is so important to the #freshlymarried perspective! I believe that our daily positive actions add up to create a strong marriage, and asking ourselves this question can help us do that. For those of you wondering what the word “fresh” has to do with my overall marriage message, you can read more here :) But using a quick example: when restaurants have items specifically made fresh that day and not days earlier, that’s a restaurant you want to eat at, right?

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“282060156” ] So I got nominated to do that ‘Love Your Spouse’ Challenge, but I’m not going to do it. It might be surprising since I’m a huge advocate of marriage, and that I totally admire this challenge going around! It’s important to publically share your feelings about your spouse, acknowledge their talents and how they have influenced your marriage, etc. But I think there can be TOO much of that sometimes.

I want to gear this #freshfridays quote towards our emotions. No one is in control of our emotions except for ourselves. So when we react terribly towards something our spouse says or does, we have to own that. That’s why I love this quote, reminding me that I get to choose how I react to a situation, but that my choice is also important. There’s a few types of choices, I believe.

So many great things can come from having a doctor, nurse, etc. in your family; first and foremost having someone knowledgeable to help you when something medically goes wrong, and you don’t have to pay the all the fees! Obviously, they have to go through years of medical school in order to get there, making it a long process, especially when you’re married. Since there are many spouses who can relate to this situation, I turned to my amazing friend Raquel to give some inspiration and encouragement in this area.

Everyone knows that I’m a big promoter of date night. Especially with my giveaways. I just believe that it’s important to have time together alone with your spouse. :) But I don’t want to give anyone the idea that your time together has to be epic enough to be given the “date night” title. Date night shouldn’t feel pressured. All quality time is important! And in some life circumstances, we have to take what we can get, right?

***GIVEAWAY CLOSED*** Many of our summer nights lately have consisted of take-out dinner. Somehow it’s mostly Mexican food, too, which means Cafe Rio :) We like going to the restaurant itself occasionally but sometimes we are just too pooped from the day, and just want to eat it at home while we watch Monk :) Know what I’m saying?! There’s been a big question apparently of what the masses prefer: their new Spicy Green Chile Pork, or their classic Sweet Pork.

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“276708040” ] It’s not easy being a spouse to someone who suffers from a depression disorder or anxiety disorder. There’s much patience required and it might be harder to understand if you have never experienced it before. Some spouses go into marriage with someone who suffers from depression not knowing how much of a mental and physical toll it can also have on themselves. And sadly, many couples go into marriage thinking that because they are so in love with their soulmate, their depression is gone.

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“276707574” ] I love this quote. This reflects what my husband has done for me and I feel nothing but overwhelming gratitude when I think about it. Spouses hold an amazing power to love you through your mistakes and weaknesses. They may be the only people close enough, and willing to understand those mistakes and weaknesses. It’s such a vulnerable thing, and for them to still stand by your side and come out loving you MORE is just amazing.

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“276706899” ] It seems more people have been coming out and sharing that they suffer from depression and/or anxiety. Whether it’s just during postpartum or a life-long struggle, it’s not easy to battle, and not easy to share with everyone that you are among them. I’m grateful that more people are sharing this because it is not uncommon. We all experience hard and even traumatic things, and sometimes the explanation is just that the brain chemicals are imbalanced which causes the bouts of depression.

“The truth is, Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.” - brene brown There’s this amazing video depicting empathy by Brene Brown that changed my life when I watched it. She talks about the difference between empathy and sympathy, the mistakes we tend to make when attempting to give empathy, and what we should be doing instead. It’s super short, yet super powerful! The animation helps you understand well, too.

Watch the video, then proceed to the rest of the post below :) [sc name=“youtube” id=“BLpKabyYfds” ] Making your own marriage recipe So you have your ingredients list above, and now you need the directions to follow, but where do you find those directions to follow? 3 ways you find those directions: You study and learn through credible books, classes, and advice from others. You pull from your past relationship experiences of what worked and what didn’t work.

Everyone can feel loved differently because we each have different love languages we speak. Sometimes your love needs to be shown in a certain way. However, it requires your time no matter how you show it! Be willing to give up your time to do something special for your spouse, to say something special to them, or just plain be with them :) Give time to your spouse today!

The smoke detectors in our house have slowly been going off over the past few months, needing a replacement battery. And boy was that fun in the beginning :) I remember the first one that starting chirping during the day while it was just me at home, and I couldn’t replace the battery because I wasn’t tall enough to reach it, haha. So I had to wait until Trevor got home because he could reach it.

Have you ever tried to complete a puzzle without looking at the picture on the box? A few years ago I completed a beautiful 1000 piece Thomas Kinkade Lighthouse puzzle. I probably looked at the picture on the box more than a thousand times as I tried to figure out where each piece should fit. Being able to look at the box was a great guide and comfort though the process.

PROGRESSION! It’s a word that guides every aspect of my life. Especially lately! At some points progress can be slow-moving (one of those points being marriage!) but I know the day will come for you to see the rewards of your efforts and endurance, and you’ll feel strong. But it takes your active participation to get there. Put in the work to have the marriage you want or you won’t get it.

The use of techniques are found in our everyday activities; at your job, in your hobbies, cleaning your house, cooking, or driving a car. Each one of these requires the use of a skill or ability that you have learned that has helped you perform better in these various activities. Guess what? This idea can also be applied to your personal roles, such as being a spouse. It’s naive to think that knowing how to be married should come naturally.

For those of you who don’t know John Gottman, he’s basically the number one guy in understanding couples and marriages. He’s also really fun to listen to! I respect him for his many theories in marriage, but this one is one of my favs because it’s fairly easy to remember AND it makes a daily impact on your marriage! It’s called the 5 to 1 ratio for healthier marriages. How it works For every 1 negative thing we do in our relationship, it should be accompanied by 5 positive things**.

“…There would be far less of divorce, much less of infidelity, much less of anger and rancor and quarreling. There would be more of forgiveness, more of love, more of peace, more of happiness.” Looking for the good in your spouse daily — YES that’s DEFINITELY a smart technique to use in marriage! Look for the good, look for the positive, and look for the reasons why you fell in love with them in the first place.

One dilemma all marriages find themselves in is how to best tell their partner how they are feeling. What I mean by this is that sometimes when we try bringing up an issue with our spouse, we start it off with blaming or obvious anger. Think of the last time you started off a conversation like this. How did it work out for you?? If a conversation starts off like this, it will most likely end like this too.

A reader asked what I would suggest as ways to prioritize your spouse, and I decided to put all that information in a post because my reply is too big for a comment box! haha. So here’s my reply to my previous post: “Prioritizing My Spouse.” The idea of growing apart happens gradually over time. When you think about it, there will always be sudden situations that come up where you do need to be there for your kids over your spouse, but I think the problem starts when this is happening frequently.

Sometimes I get the feeling that people take marriage for granted or discount its importance. I’m not just saying that because I’m a marriage guru, or because I don’t understand what it’s like to have children of my own yet! From conversations I have had with people lately, they have made comments that appear to me as devaluing a family that only consists of husband and wife. It’s as if they think a married couple simply on their own isn’t good enough, or isn’t a “family” compared to a married couple with children.

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY FAMILY BEGINS WITH MARRIAGE In the previous post connected to this, I discussed how it’s becoming more normal to put less importance on marriage and more importance on kids. I think that this normalized mindset has given people this idea that a family only consisting of a husband and wife isn’t good enough compared to a family that has a husband, wife, and kids. NEWSFLASH: Marriage is the foundation of a family, and the most important foundation we will ever build!

I hope you all enjoy your own trip down #memory lane with this #freshfridays thought :)

Sharing time These pictures depict our lives before we “re-met” and started dating. Trevor was serving a Latter-Day Saint mission across the country while I was living at home, working at a craft store, and riding my scooter around trying to find myself again. Though it was tough at times, these experiences were great for each of us to gain a new perspective and discover what we really wanted and what we were ready for… each other.

*this post contains affiliate links. I recently looked through the scrapbook I made of our first year together, and it was fun taking this trip down memory lane, again! How special it is to look back through journals, or scrapbooks, and other mementos, and recover a taste of a memorable moment. One of those memories is this one that I made a scrapbook page out of :) It was the day we moved into our first apartment!

***Giveaway closed.*** Winner listed at the bottom of the post *This post contains affiliate links. This week my focus is on the importance of recording the memories in marriage! I talk about how important it is to journal the little details here, with 10 ideas for how you can do that! I also wrote here about how important it is to update your family photos often AND make sure to hang them up in your house!

I love being right in the middle of a memorable moment when a certain kind of happiness overcomes me, and I can’t help but think, “I will never forget this.” Those moments are deemed “memorable” for whatever reason, and can stay in our hearts forever. As much as we wish they can be replayed over and over, they can’t be; unless you have a time machine in the form of a flying DeLorean, and your name is Doctor Emmett Brown.

So I’m finally sharing our beautiful trip to Hawaii we took in May! Two phrases I remember saying multiple times out loud and in mind are: “Bucket list item - CHECK!” and “That’s another new thing I can say I tried!” I liked being able to make those little steps of progression in life, but doing them felt a million times more special and held more purpose getting to do them with my husband :)

Every anniversary we do a little something to celebrate our love! Like everyone else! haha. Some people choose to follow the theme of their year from that list of anniversary gifts here. I guess I don’t want to be told what to get my spouse because my spouse is unique! Our gift to each other was celebrating in Hawaii this year, but I wanted us to do something special there to mark the occasion.

Arguments, fights, tiffs, quarrels, disagreements, misunderstandings, whatever you call them, are bound to happen here and there in marriage. If a couple says they have never even disagreed before, they are lying to you and themselves! haha. Whether it’s a large or small matter, and consistent or rare. Trevor and I have our tiffs just like everybody else. We have moments when our minds are not in sync with each other.

You all know what we already did for our #anniversary to keep it fresh - romantic vacay to Hawaii! But what is your answer to the question? :) If you recently celebrated your anniversary than this is your early start to thinking about next year’s celebrations! It’s already got me thinking!

If you’ve been following along from the beginning, you’ll remember that I wrote about the following married milestones: being married for three weeks, and then three months. So naturally, I felt like doing a milestone post on being married for THREE YEARS! That’s such a small number, but I believe every year is an accomplishment! And we’ve experienced so much together in this short time, so it gets me excited about what we’ll experience at our 30-year mark!

Little steps make up the whole staircase anyways, right? It’s the little things we do today that count. It’s the little things we do on our marriage that make it long-lasting!

For the last year, we have been looking into a big vacation for ourselves. We’ve done research to various places, planning, and multiple times were minutes away from actually booking a trip! Yet we haven’t pulled the trigger… until now! We finally did it - we went to HAWAII! Some of you might be saying, “Going to Hawaii is this big for you guys?” or “We go on vacations all the time…” Well, it’s different for us, and because it’s not something we do often, it will be that much more special :)

This is a common catchphrase in religions, even though it might not be a guarantee. While I believe praying is a powerful tool in marriage, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee a couple won’t get divorced. However, it does pull a large weight when it comes to feeling high marital quality. I came across a recent article not too long ago from the Institute of Family Studies about how influential religion is in a couple’s marital satisfaction.

*This post contains affiliate links. Our time is very valuable as married couples, individuals, and parents. Weekends seem to be dispersed between your own events and obligations, family events, or just plain staying home on a Saturday night relaxing! If you got kids, throw in their games and activities, too. So when it comes to date night, it’s rare for some of us to find time for double dates, let alone our own dates!

As a society, especially women, we tend to get caught up in other’s love stories. The obvious ways we do this are through movies and novels, right? Writers make up these passionate love stories that (most of the time) are unlikely to happen, with the most convenient circumstances. When these stories are played out in movies, of course, we finally get to see it all played out visually so everything is played up.

There are many things in the beginning of marriage that we don’t know about or fully understand until we have been married for at least a few years. I’m sure you guys have specific situations you ran into that you stressed too much over, or maybe an aspect that you underestimated. Maybe knowing your spouse for longer has helped you know how to handle certain situations better. So for my #freshfridays question I asked:

I’m excited to share this idea with you guys because I think it’s a fun, EASY way to switch things up when it comes to your sex life! For whatever reason, we all experience a hiatus of sexual intimacy at times. Sometimes it’s because there are natural life transitions happening like having a baby, and other times you’re just needing a nudge to get back there. This game can be that nudge for your marriage!

We are all full of wisdom whether we have been married five days or five decades! Sometimes being a teacher helps us learn something ourselves. What would your advice be?

So here’s that part two video about the marriage advice we received on our wedding day! The first video was me going through pieces of “bad” (cliche, not the best to follow) advice and why I think it’s not the best to follow. For this video, however, I wanted to keep it more positive and focused on all the GOOD advice we received on our wedding day because there truly were some great things said to us that stuck with us!

FRESHLY MARRIED IS NOW ON YOUTUBE!!! Click on This button below to subscribe! I was feeling like I needed to be doing videos as another form of helping couples strengthen their marriage because we all learn in different ways.I think this is also a great opportunity for my personality to come out a little more, which can help our relationship feel more personable :) I’m all about relating to others because it allows you to better understand them and trust them.

This week I asked how couples get their exercise - do they work out together or individually, and why. The reason I asked is because this is something my husband and I have been trying to figure out for a while now! I’ve seen many couples do workouts together, or go on the same diets. I think it’s cool to have it be something you can do together because you get healthy while spending time together, you can encourage each other, and it can be convenient to eat the same meals.

I’m grateful that I was able to experience college being both single, and then married. In the beginning I was doing the college thing for the experience and learning, but finishing college as a married woman for the last few semesters was for more than that. I wasn’t just doing it for me anymore. The Single College Life People tend to think that it’s best to go through college being single, or at least not yet married.

Substitute a few words with “marriage” and you now have a quote that inspires you to be more than just married :) “In the end, it’s not the years in your marriage that count, it’s the life in your marriage.”

To the couples who haven’t gone on a date in awhile: GO ON A DATE! I know I say this a lot, and I don’t want to come off as annoying, judge-y or insensitive when I write this post. Life can be tough and in those tough times, we tend to put this incredibly important relationship of ours on the back-burner. It also happens when life is busy. For whatever the reason, these situations start to take precedence over something that is so essential to a relationship.

Three years ago I wrote this message to Trevor on the back of a picture quote as encouragement that we could do the long distance thing. (I’m sad we can’t find the original right now but glad I took a picture of the smeared message I wrote him!) The story behind this little message set a precedent for our relationship and it’s one I think every couple needs reminding of :)

A year ago I talked about some new things I learned about grocery budgeting, especially how my budget was comparing to the national averages. As I remembered that post, I realized my grocery budgeting has changed a bit in the past year, haha. Why? Because LIFE has changed in the past year! Life changes MAKE YOUR BUDGETS FLUCTUATE I was making more meals back in the spring of 2015. Come summer time things got CRAZY again.

To the older couple staring at us kissing in line, stop rolling your eyes about it. To the people sick of listening to proposal stories, stop rolling your eyes about it. To the people who joke about my husband and I being prom dates because we sometimes match his tie and my dress for church, stop rolling your eyes about it. Why am I saying this? Because people tend to get annoyed of young love and it bugs me.

I was married in a Latter-Day Saint temple, where we believe allows your marriage to be eternal. However, simply having my marriage ceremony within my religion doesn’t mean I’m guaranteed to have a happy and healthy marriage! Believing you’ll have a forever marriage is different from actually creating one. Principles to follow I firmly know that the principles taught in my Latter-Day Saint faith and many other faiths directly coincide with principles you should follow for a strong and happy marriage.

I love this. Great advice for life but even better advice for marriage. If your marriage is in a “rut” you don’t have to settle for that stage. You both have the power to make the changes that will put you in a stage you feel happy with. Whether it’s making sacrifices, behavioral changes, or getting more outside help, you can make it happen. Think about that as you answer the #freshfridays question: “What change can you make TODAY to freshen up your marriage?

As you have noticed, we got some new family photos done :) And I’m loving them! I had been watching my friend Nicky post so many amazing pictures she has taken of families and couples, and knew that she could give us the memorable photos we were looking for. Throughout the process I was so impressed with her professionalism, expertise, artistic eye, and even encouragement that we looked cute, haha. I just had a really great experience with her and wanted to mention that as I share a few photos from this shoot.

“…That is good news because no matter how flat your relationship may be at present, if you keep adding pebbles of kindness, compassion, listening, sacrifice, understanding, and selflessness, eventually a mighty pyramid will begin to grow.” This weekend I watched Latter-Day Saint General Conference and heard some great spiritual messages! I also heard great messages about marriage, too! I especially found one particular talk I wanted to share that was so “nailed on the head” and relatable to all marriages, not just religious ones.

The #freshfridays encouraging thought today! It’s easy to wish you could start over, start fresh, but stop wishing because what’s done is done! The only thing you can do is utilize the new day you were given, and make a change!

The past few months I have found out more and more people that I knew or am still friends with have gotten divorced. The shocked part of me thinks: “I swear they all just got married yesterday!” And then the realistic part of me remembers that high school was 7 years ago and a lot can happen whether people got married right out of high school or more recently. Because I’m in this same grouping, it gives me mixed feelings, realizing that divorce truly is a possibility, but that I’m glad I have the strong marriage I have.

I am religious and rely on God and his son, Jesus Christ, in nearly all aspects of my marriage. So I have been wanting to write about how religion influences my marriage. This week as I have been thinking about Easter and Jesus Christ’s Atonement, I have been focused on his actions from his time walking among us on earth: the examples he set of kindness, righteousness, and love. These qualities he displayed have become known as “Christlike attributes” and although there are many attributes that I could apply in my life, there are a few specifically that have been most applicable to my marriage that I wanted to point out.

There’s no time like the present! There are so many things you can do RIGHT NOW as such a small step towards keeping your marriage fresh! My fav is the power of a text message and it’s so easy to do! I encourage you to pause what you are doing for 30 seconds and send a quick loving or encouraging text to your spouse!

I know pictures of food are annoying but there’s a reason I’m documenting it! We have obviously had to overhaul our meals with my food allergies, and it has been a whole bunch of trial and error. I’ve started to notice the affects in my body when I have even a little bit of something dairy here or there. I thought I could get away with cheating even just 2 tablespoons of ranch once a week but NOPE, haha.

In our short three years (almost) being married, Trevor and I have done really well about trying to be financially independent from our families. It’s something that had to be done in stages because tackling health insurance, car insurance, and a phone bill all at once is not wise! Health insurance is a headache on its own, am I right?! But slowly we made goals of what responsibilities we needed to take on and when to do it.

I had a good luck charm apparently for this St. Patricks Day because I “won” some amazing seats to the Jazz game that night! I say “won” because an old friend couldn’t use them so they did a little drawing for people interested and I got them :) What’s better than a fun date night to an NBA game? A FREE ONE, haha. It was double-y awesome because Trevor and I had never been to a game together yet.

Last week I re-shared some posts I wrote a year ago about some struggles I had with social media. I felt envious at times. I felt too involved in people’s lives that I hardly talk to anymore. And because I was getting used to a new living situation now knowing anyone, I spent a lot of time seeking comfort from those virtual connections. Unfortunately but understandably, all of this made me depressed so I had to change these thoughts for myself, but also for my marriage because it began to affect that as well.

I’ve hit the quarter-life mark turning 25 last week and I feel the need to write about it. I have to say that I was not looking forward to this birthday just because the things I was wanting to do /to eat (but for reals!) I couldn’t have, or were out of reach. I thought that those things would make me happy. I have to admit that I totally cheated on my birthday and had two slices of cheese pizza that tasted so much like paradise that I didn’t even regret the inflammation and discomfort I had from it the next two days!

Choose to have learning experiences rather than fights, rather than ruts, rather than mistakes. Each of these IS an experience that teaches us something we didn’t know before. Choose to let that new information improve your relationship. For More see the blog post, “The Inevitable Storms in Marriage.”

Letters of Forgiveness Imagine that every morning after you got dressed you put a stuffed envelope in your back pocket. You consciously open the drawer to your nightstand and grab a worn letter inside an envelope, fold it in half, and put it inside the back pocket of your jeans. That might seem like a small little difference to your normal routine, because I don’t know anyone who does this, haha.

With it being the beginning of the month, this is the perfect time to ask yourself this #freshfridays question! Maybe it’s making an extra effort for date nights, maybe it’s doing something unexpected for them, or maybe it’s keeping a more positive atmosphere in your conversations. The best thing about these questions is that the possibilities of what you can do are ENDLESS!

I know it can be very hard to let little things go, or to let big things go. Overcoming your variety of feelings, is not easy. Forgiveness is not easy! Forgetting is not easy. I know that it’s easier to sing it than to do it (sorry not sorry if the song got stuck in your head lol) but once you do let it go, you also have let go of resentment and can move forward with a clearer heart and mind.

In my previous post, I talked about not holding onto mistakes you have made, or mistakes your spouse has made – Basically letting go of grudges you have with yourself or your spouse. Since avoiding grudges is a topic that seems to have many webs stemming from it, I wanted to elaborate on one idea right now that can be very helpful in moving forward from mistakes made in marriage: Looking for the good in the bad.

This #freshfridays question gives you SEVEN DAYS to find a good time to do something for your spouse or for your marriage in general! I’m going to give my husband more head/scalp massages this week because he has really liked those lately. I’ve noticed it helps him to de-stress from work and even go to sleep more easily. :) Think about what you could do and commit to do it!

FACT: We have all made mistakes in marriage, whether they be big or small. I know when I make mistakes in my marriage I tend to be hard on myself for it, especially if it’s something I am continually working on but don’t seem to be getting better at quite yet. The feeling lasts for a few days while I still feel bad for whatever I did or said, and as I consider ways to become better.

We used to have a cute little tradition that we started when we were dating called, “Stoplight Kisses.” When we would drive together and approach a long stoplight, we would lean over and kiss each other :) Sometimes they were hurried kisses, and sometimes one of us kept our eyes open in case the light turned green, haha. But we enjoyed these little moments. Any excuse to kiss right?! Over the past three years, I’m sorry to say we haven’t kept up with that tradition!

Last year I wrote a series of posts on how social media can get the best of us and how it can affect our marriages. I now want to discuss another aspect of social media that can affect our marriages. THINK ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL CONNECTIONS I didn’t think there was a problem having tons of friends when I first started facebook back in high school. It was neat to be able to connect, but then I realized how it can make me feel envious or inadequate when I spend a lot of time on it and am involved in other people’s lives so much.

I’ve been down lately about some things and I’m realizing that I feel a little better when I do little things for my husband. He has been patient and encouraging, so this weekend I’m going to try forgetting about myself and do more things for him :) What will you do this weekend to keep your marriage fresh?

Hi. We are married and we both wear pants. That sounded funny huh? Well I’m just making fun of the stupid saying “Who wears the pants in your relationship?” because I hate it. Last time I checked we both wear pants, except on Sundays when I’m usually in skirt or dress ;) But seriously, though! I know it’s said in a funny and teasing way, almost sarcastically. However, remember, the thing about sarcasm is that there seems to be a little truth beyond its intentions.

My husband and I have both mentioned in posts how much we enjoy giving and receiving love notes from each other. I really think there’s an awesome power that comes with love notes. Having a physical copy of how your spouse feels about you is something you can refer to in years to come, which makes it more special. Trevor and I used to write more to each other while we were dating, and I think it’s because we lived an hour away from each other.

This post contains affiliate links to Amazon. Which means Freshly Married can make a small commission on items you buy through these links. This is one of my favorite quotes, by one of my favorite people who ever lived. He says this quote above in his book, “Standing For Something: 10 neglected virtues that will heal our hearts and homes.” and I absolutely LOVE this book. I first read it about six years ago, and I still remember amazing points he brought up about society and families, and I find myself referring back to reading pieces often.

This is a humbling reminder on marriage that I truly appreciate. When we look at our spouses, we should view them with a sense of compassion, recognizing that they have weaknesses just like you do. And then I hope that compassion turns into excitement thinking about how great your marriage can be; how it can improve and strengthen. Your spouse has potential, your marriage has potential.

This Valentine’s Day is going to be a little more low-key for us and we like it that way right now. :) However, low-key doesn’t mean we aren’t doing anything new or special! Because we want to continue keeping our marriage fresh, right?! We plan to do that by going back to our 90’s childhood and play on our Nintendo 64!! Trevor has been playing Super Smash Brothers on the 64 with some of his friends and he realized how much he truly missed playing it!

In a presentation about having a more connected marriage, one of my UVU professors shared this cute story about something he does in his marriage and I thought it was inspiring to share! The Dot above the Door Handle One night when he came home from work, his wife mentioned to him that she felt like she wasn’t being noticed, like the things she did in her day weren’t being appreciated as much.

And by good things, I don’t just mean that it opens the opportunity for sex! haha. I think that by ending your night with a kiss sets you up for good feelings before you go to sleep. Good feelings or bad feelings can be the difference between staying up all night or having a beautiful sleep! Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying that if you don’t kiss your spouse goodnight that you are a terrible spouse, or that you’ll have bad feelings before you fall asleep!

For this giveaway, I asked you to tell us how you keep your marriage fresh, along with reposting a freshly married quote from our insta. I truly loved reading the responses from those who participated! A response that was similar among multiple entries was that they try to keep each other a priority among new situations like having babies. Other responses were back to the simple basics: making dinner together, having weekly date nights, dancing in the kitchen, and other quality time activities :) I just really liked hearing these responses because not only do they inspire my own marriage, but those who saw your posts were also inspired!

That title sounds funny but you’ll get it when you’re through with this post. This past week I have been so grateful for Trevor’s support. I’ve been feeling down, stressed, and very emotional from some new medical developments in my life recently, and he has been there in ways I needed and also didn’t realize I needed. He reminded me how important support is between a marriage because it’s hard to receive that much support elsewhere.

Do you guys know Stuart Edge? My husband and I just recently found his uplifting videos on youtube and every time I watch them I think, “How cool is it that he can just give away money in really neat ways and make people happy?! I wish I could do that!” Well I’m definitely not made of money but I genuinely love doing nice things for people, especially if it truly does help them in some way.

My #freshfridays question is to help those of us who haven’t planned out their Valentine’s Day yet ;) (me being one of them!) Since the #monthoflove is next weekend, I want to encourage you to do something a little different. Whether it’s spent inside or out, mixing it up helps freshen your romance! What are your plans??

*You will get the most out of this post if you read Love Languages Part 1: Understanding* We’re talking about this best-selling book, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman! (affiliate link) So hopefully you have taken the assessments to know what your spouse’s love languages are, as well as your own. And hopefully you have discussed it with your spouse as well. (If you haven’t taken it yet, no worries, still important to know all this!

*This post contains affiliate links. I am a huge believer in love languages! Gary Chapman is most well-known for this idea in his book: “The Five Love Languages.” There are other interpretations when it comes to understanding how people feel loved but this seems to hit it on the head for me! I honestly could say I have a testimony on how important this concept is to marriages because I utilize it repeatedly in my marriage and in other relationships!

The day I was proposed to, the day I gave Trevor his wedding ring, and the day I got married to him were all days that showed me the meaning of a wedding ring. However, there was something else that happened this week where I realized the importance of a wedding ring again. And guess how it happened? While watching an episode of “Duck Dynasty” with my dad! hahaha. I’ll explain.

I wanted to help you understand why I always sign my posts with ‘Keepin’ marriage fresh," and stress how cool this idea is to marriages. A while ago I was looking at the definitions of “fresh” and “freshening,” and “freshen.” I really loved some of the definitions Webster’s dictionary provided. These are the definitions that I found for FRESH, and FRESHEN, and I’m going to tell you how I interrupt and apply this to marriages.

**This post contains affiliate links. This means, if you make a purchase through any of these links, we’ll receive a small portion of your purchase at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Freshly Married! For the past four or five months on our dates we have been trying to better focus our conversations on ourselves, rather than work, school, and other business. Trevor would think of questions or look up some to ask each other and it was fun.

If you are like me, you are at the point in your marriage where the idea of having children weighs more heavily on your mind. Whatever the reason for it, getting to this point has been an interesting journey, at least it has been for me! When we first got married the idea of starting a family was a simple goal for us: “Not for five years.” However as months and months have passed since then, I can tell you now that it’s actually not that simple, haha.

Story time When we were living in an apartment still, there was a new family that moved in below us; a wife, husband, and a few kids. Since they moved in, almost every day we heard them yelling. The parents would yell at each other, the parents yelled at the kids, and the kids yelled at the parents. I absolutely hated it; I cringed every time. Yes, I cringed because it is annoying, but mainly because it shows that they are were not loving each other and instead were hurting each other.

Three years ago yesterday, Trevor asked me to be his wife! That was obviously a big moment for us, just as it is for any relationship. However, there were other things leading up to that moment that were also big in our relationship. Story Time Two weeks before he proposed I had finally decided I was ready and wanted to move to be closer to him in Provo. This was a big deal for me because exactly a year prior to that I did the same thing– move to Provo to be closer to a boy I was ready to marry.

HUG MORE. KISS MORE. HUG MORE. KISS MORE. ETC. ETC.

In the previous post, “Lock Your Love,” I shared this awesome gate found in St. George where you can symbolically protect your love by attaching a padlock to a gate or a bridge. Go read that post because it’s a neat idea! I thought more about how this idea reflects marriage and found some great symbolism I wanted to share. Locked strongly into place My thoughts lingered on the lock itself, in that it’s nearly effortless to lock into place.

*This post contains affiliate links. I used to go to Dixie State University (it was Dixie State College when I went), so I lived down in good ole St. George, Utah! I loved it there so much. I could go on forever about why I love St. George but that would take all day! So I’m just going to share this one majorly awesome thing that came from living down there.

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“281723250” ] So many people right now are thinking about how they can better themselves for the new year. I am doing that right now, too! But one area people tend to forget to make a resolution for is in their relationships. Do I need to mention how awesome and important that is to do in your MARRIAGE?! I have to admit that I didn’t do that before beginning a serious relationship with Trevor.

I did choose to send out Christmas cards again this year and man was it easier than my first attempt last year! This year I did a double-sided card so we could have a picture of us and a quick “happy holidays” message, but also have a back where we shared a picture from something special we did this year: we threw a Back to the Future party because I’m obsessed with BTTF!

I just read an article about a national study that found 73% of Americans have given advice to a friend or family member about their relationships. Source is at the bottom because I don’t want to bore you like a class lecture. However, I do want to address this important role of being a confidant to others on their relationships, because these people can be a very influential lifeline to your marriage success, whether it’s positive or negative.

As we all know, there are different kinds of marital experiences! A few that I have received better insight into this year are marriages that have a spouse serving in the armed forces, police work, firefighters, or EMT’s. Because of their job description and the sacrifice they make to help protect us, they face different challenges in their marriages than other couples might face. Since I do not have first-hand experience in this area, I asked someone who has absolute experience in this to help us understand better.

When I watch TV shows that portray a husband and wife relationship, I get annoyed sometimes with how they act towards each other. Examples of this: Wives nagging their husbands and saying they don’t do anything for them ever. Husbands complaining and saying comments like, “this is torture” when helping their wife plan a party or something only she is really interested in doing. They say sarcastic things under their breath at each other.

Have you ever had a hard time buying a gift for your spouse while keeping it a surprise? I personally have a problem with it just solely on the fact that I just can’t wait for them to enjoy what I got them! Well for this post I’m talking about keeping it a secret financially. If you are like us and have openly shared finances, you probably struggle with getting gifts without your spouse knowing.

Isn’t it hard sometimes to be thankful in the midst of your trials? It’s not easy trying to see the positive in every situation. That’s why I felt like this new decor in our kitchen would be a helpful reminder to us that there is always something to be thankful, no matter what we experienced in the day! It helped even more to have pictures up representing things we are thankful for too.

In case I haven’t said this a lot lately, I’m super excited to be graduating with my bachelor’s degree in WEEKS. Well, to celebrate, we’ve been talking/planning/deciding/not deciding on taking a graduation vacation :) And what I mean by that is we have had ideas of where we would love to vacation and then haven’t been sure about them, so we put it on hold until the next idea comes along.

I love Dr. Seuss. And not just because we have the same birthday :) When he says things, it has a way of making you think differently. My perspectives change and sometimes it results with a smack to the forehead like I should have known it all along, haha. Well this quote is one of those moments for me. Appearances can be deceiving A lot of times we look at a complex question and think that finding the answer is also complex.

I’m so glad we happened to get a blooper photo of me actually picking my husband up because it worked perfectly for this ;) Mondays can be hard, huh? It’s beginning another week of the daily grind, wishing you could go back to Friday :) What helps us get by on these days where we are lagging? Sometimes it’s a funny video on youtube. Other times it’s a diet coke or brownie.

We all know that being kind can change someone’s entire day around, or maybe someone’s act of kindness has changed YOUR entire day. Kindness is so powerful, if you didn’t know that already! Throughout my marriage I’ve definitely been shown and taught how powerful it can be. When Trevor and I first experienced tiffs with each other, our process of being upset and also working through it was something new to me.

I love love love this thought because it’s a great reminder to me that it takes an effort to make things great, and even when it’s achieved, it has to be maintained! It also attacks that old saying: “The grass is greener on the other side,” and I have a few ways I like to relate this to marriage… It’s easy to look at all the other marriages around you and wish your relationship could be as wonderful as there’s.

This week’s lesson: you have to know the misery to know joy! The past six weeks have been kinda overwhelming for us. School has consumed much of my daily life and my weekends. And I think it took me two weeks to finally get motivated to do my homework and be a part of school because I was just feeling so burned out– burned out from doing 4 semesters in a row and only having a week break before starting the fifth and FINAL one.

I’m excited to say that this guy is starting a new job at DOMO tomorrow and I’m pretty proud of him! Getting this job is kind of a bittersweet story for us, and I want to share it because I think it’s something every marriage will face on some level. “There is so much more of happiness to be had when we can rejoice in another’s successes and not just in our own.

It was exactly one year ago today that we broke our bodies moving into our house! haha jk but seriously, we didn’t move from the couch and unpack anything for two straight days because we were so sore. The time and effort was all worth it though because we have a beautiful, put together home to show for it :) And to think, it only took: 3 months to get a shower curtain in the guest bathroom 4 months to get actual blinds instead of the brown banner paper we had in every window… tacky I know, it’s fine.

You may not have needed me to tell you that but there are 39 million people in the world and I’m sure millions more, who needed to be told that this week. I’m always thinking about how current events are affecting marriages, so of course I have been thinking about this whole Ashley Madison hack recently. Call me naive but I didn’t really know there were website services for cheating until a few years ago, when I saw a billboard advertisement for one.

I know we are all used to seeing celebrity couples splitting up, but gosh has anybody else noticed it’s been like one or two every week?! This happens all the time, sadly so I didn’t expect myself to post on this. However, I saw a headline that got me thinking about it more. The headline said, “First Ben and Jennifer, now Blake and Miranda? Is anyone else losing faith in marriage, too?

Soooo I used to be apart of “Bachelor nation” like 6 years ago. It was entertaining to watch and then I got annoyed at how unrealistic it all was to actual healthy relationships so I stopped watching it…. Until this season. It was all my classmates would talk about before class and then I read this awesome article on it and decided to give it a try again. Who doesn’t like judging other people’s relationships?

*This blog post contains affiliate links. Hi. Wedding shower fun here! Last weekend I threw my SIL a bridal shower and it was great! I literally spent two months planning and getting excited to do it because I had a fun idea that was unique to her and unique to bridal showers in general. She LOVES hunting, fishing, that outdoorsy stuff, AND perfectly enough — her fiance loves all of that too!

I have been thinking about the little milestones in marriage a lot lately. The anniversaries and growing families are great – super awesome milestones! But I think it’s nice to honor those little things we do in marriage… The “little victories” if you will! The little victory I had when I wrote this was making a meal I have never made before, and slam dunkin’ the “HONEY THIS TASTES SO GOOD!

Remember how I was so frustrated/annoyed/intimidated/scared of my iron? hahaha yeah so this started the very beginning of our marriage. It was actually my very first post, too! Basically, ironing was a stressful ordeal for me and became so much more difficult than it should have been. I was even more bugged about it because I felt like I NEEDED to ironing my husband’s dress shirts all the time, in order to be a good wife.

Marriage has gone down in history this week with the legalization of same-sex marriages throughout the nation. The past few days I’ve been thinking about two things: 1) We are all human and we all have rights, despite our sexual orientation or religious beliefs. 2) How this is an opportune moment for us to increase our appreciation for marriage in general (traditional or non-traditional). Recognizing the responsibilities Marriage is a big deal to me.

This week my Associate in Science degree finally came in the mail! I practically earned it last summer, and then had to wait to apply for it in the fall, and then it got sent to the wrong address, haha. So I have had these proud feelings for 9 months, but finally got the paperwork to show for it ;) Believe it or not, my college career began in Fall 2009… Over the past six years, I made important life decisions that took me all over Utah, and to three different universities… haha.

We celebrated our second anniversary this weekend, and it was just lovely. We stayed one night at the Anniversary Inn, enjoying the same room we spent our wedding night in. It was magical to have memories flood me from two years ago, and was just so relaxing to get away from the world for a little bit. On the way there we ate at Happy Sumo and it was just really chill, I loved it.

Found this quote the other day and I really liked it. Yeah it’s cheesy and cutesy, as well as simple and thought-provoking. Bittersweet decisions Throughout the past years I’ve come to know what’s most important in life. (Maybe it’s the selflessness I had to learn going into marriage, or maybe it’s just maturity? haha) It’s a bittersweet answer for me when I ask myself questions about the things I’m currently doing in my life.

A few weeks ago Trevor went to a conference in San Francisco for work. For many couples this wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Some spouses are away on business trips often. Well, for Trevor and I, this was a big deal because it was the first time we have ever spent a night apart… YEP. The last time we slept in separate beds on our own was the night before we got married.

*This post contains affiliate links. On our first date, Trevor and I started talking about some things we like to do, and we found most of them we had in common (of course!) Since he had recently come home from serving an Latter-Day Saint mission, I started suggesting some of the movies he should watch and music to listen to that came out while he was gone. It started as that, and then somehow it turned into things that we were possibly going to do together… :) So being the list people that we are, Trevor pulled out his phone and created a google doc, listing these things to do.

I used to be one of those people that thought you should do anything and everything for your kids - that they should be the priority. It’s portrayed in movies of parents willing to do anything for their kids. Overtime this philosophy has changed for me, especially since finding Trevor. You can pause before continuing, and read this awesome article by a mom: “Why my husband will always come before my kids.

During a typical week day, there’s a time where my life becomes like an apron-wearing, oven-ready “50’s housewife cliché”. I love this time of the day. Around 3:30 or 4 pm, my thoughts start to focus on the refrigerator, and pantry, where I figure out what nice meal I can make for us for dinner. Sometimes it feels kind of stressful because I want to make something yummy, fulfilling, and healthy for us, and I’m not always prepared as I could be.

This is the last post in a series of three posts on this subject. It would be beneficial to read part 1 and part 2 before or after reading this post :) How social media has affected my marriage Trevor and I differ on our level of social interaction. I have a stronger need for it than he does, and it’s OK :)Being different in this way set a good example to me, that I’m grateful for.

This is part 2 of 3. If you haven’t read part 1 yet, reading it would probably be to your benefit. :) All the world’s a stage I think each of us are on a stage. We give a public presentation of ourselves to an audience – the people walking by us on the streets, our co-workers, friends, family, and our virtual friends on social media. When we go out on stage, we pick the parts of ourselves that we want people to see.

From about September to December, I really struggled emotionally with social media. I fell into some common pitfalls of comparing my life to other people’s lives, questioning how “real” people were, and spending more time being involved in it than I should have (though I wouldn’t say I was addicted). These things were lowering my self-worth, and making me feel ungrateful. I snapped out of this phase and realized some important things that have made me and my marriage happier.

Wanna know something funny? We’ve established a grocery budget for every month since we’ve been married and I don’t think I’ve ever truly been able to stay under it, EVER! haha. I even feel like I’m fairly frugal in my money-saving strategies. I look through the coupons we get in the mail to see if there’s a deal on something we actually use or eat, I’ll take advantage of good sales going on and stock up in bulk (one of the big suggestions to saving money on groceries), and I’ll avoid getting items sometimes that I think are too expensive that week.

I attended a women’s conference with my mom a few weeks ago and I was inspired by one of the speakers who talked about “loving at arms-length.” It was actually Dawn Armstrong, the mother of the missionary from the movie, “Meet the Mormons.” She talked about how she has a lot of love for so many people; sometimes people who randomly come along. Her love for people grew ten fold when she stopped loving at arms-length, and instead pulled them in tight and gave them a hug.

I’m suuuuuper excited to announce that I am now a PREP trained facilitator! PREP stands for Preventative Relationship Enhancement Program. This accredited program is taught internationally to anyone wanting to strengthen their marital relationship! I have been training so I can teach this curricula to large audiences in the community, and I am happy to announce my first one! I will be partnered with three co-facilitators to teach a slightly condensed version of the program.

I didn’t realize how big of a deal it was to have family pictures up until now. I always thought people made too big of a deal over getting family portraits taken every year, and switching the pictures out in their home every time. While I love the idea of that, it’s not about having formal family photos to show off. To be honest, Trevor and I prefer the silly candid iPhone pictures we take, even in selfie form!

One of my favorite things about getting married, was that I received another awesome family in addition to my own awesome family :) There are so many great things that come with having another set of parents to count on, another set of siblings to have fun with, and of course, don’t forget those nieces and nephews! One of the difficulties, however, in gaining another family, is having to split your time between them for holidays and other events.

Click the play button to LISTEN to this blog post! [sc name=“soundcloud” id=“273872657” ] Back in college I had to do an assignment relating marriage and relationships to something. It could be an object or an action, we just had to explain why. I found a lot of similarities between hiking and marriage so I wrote all those down here for you! :) It’s a crazy, fun, stressful, scary, beautiful adventure together.

Did any other couples gain weight their first months of year of marriage? Or was it just us? hahaha. We always joke to people that getting married must do something to your metabolism. Maybe we just didn’t start off our marriage eating healthy in the first place. I mean, we took this whole first tier of our wedding cake with us on our honeymoon to eat! haha I guess some of our eating habits changed when we got married vs.

Our first married NYE’s in 2013, we went out to dinner to Red Lobster and had a four-course meal discussing our New Year’s resolutions. We had a great time enjoying good food, good company, and talking about the goals and desires of our heart. We decided this year we would continue that as a tradition every NYE! So this year we went out to Buffalo Wild Wings (one of our favs) and listed out to each other our plans for the new year, and it was great!

We chose to send out Christmas cards for the first time this year, and this was our little insert. I meant to post this way before Christmas, but we had some technical difficulties on the back-end of our website. So even though Christmas has come and gone, we hope you can still appreciate our well-wishes to you for the holidays! I’m not sure if a lot of you send out Christmas cards, but I want to share what we did for those of you thinking about doing it.

So remember how I am working on a degree in Family Studies, studying all relationships that come with that, and becoming an expert on how to have a good marriage? Yeah, well just because I’m gaining knowledge, it doesn’t mean it’s easy to apply to my own marriage ;) On a daily basis I find myself learning something neat about normal family functioning, and how to handle relationships. And of course, when I’m learning all of it, I think of the various relationships I have that apply to that idea, and it helps me understand and remember the concept better.

When you think about a typical honeymoon (or look back on your own honeymoon), it’s a pretty great experience :) This picture is of us on our honeymoon to Park City; a.k.a Our best vacation ever! Honeymoons are full of fun, low-stress, and are fairly worry-free because the happiness of being together outweighs everything. That happiness continues on after the vacation is over. Hence, the “honeymoon phase” phrase, haha. It was such a simple time.

I’ve totally been absent for a long time, I know. Sorry. I definitely have my reasons though. I love blogging and writing about aspects of married life that can be useful for people, but I think it’s important to take a step back from writing, and just enjoy those aspects of married life, instead. I’ve been so busy the past few months. Though I enjoy being busy for the most part, I start to hate it when it is consistent and doesn’t come with a nice break.

The word, “realistic” has been on my mind a lot lately: “Is this to-do list realistic?” “Are my wants realistic right now?” “Seriously, is this person’s life realistic?” These are just a few. I’ve had a realization that we need to be more honest and appear more realistic as a society, because that’s how people relate to each other. I have a hard time connecting with people who give a persona that life is perfect because we all know it’s not.

Feel free to LISTEN to this blog post below! [sc name=“soundcloud” id=“273882598” ] There have been some interesting findings that have come from a blog post I wrote a few months ago, and I would like to share those with you. A few months back, I wrote my long-held opinion on bikinis, in the post: “Save it For Your Husband.” I suggest reading it if you haven’t yet, as it can shed some more light on this current post.

As you know, we moved into our first home three weeks ago. We are enjoying it a lot so far :) It’s been great to come home to our own place with a lot more space! (I’m cool because I rhymed.) There’s DEFINITELY some upgrades from an old apartment to a new home, that we’ve enjoyed. Like how my stove cooks chicken, and how my oven seems to bake things better!

*This post contains affiliate links. A research team under John Gottman, a well-known expert in couples research, found that, “the success or failure of a marriage depends not on whether there is conflict, but on how conflict is handled when it does occur (Walsh, 2012).” Because of that, Gottman has addressed the mistakes we make while in the middle of marital conflict, in hopes that we can correct our mistakes and live happier marriages.

In my marriage and relationship skills class that I took over the summer, my professor was making fun of his cousin who just got married and started a blog about marriage, as if his cousin was an expert on it. Apparently they would write in a way that the things they were suggesting were wrong. With my professor being an actual expert on marriage in being a couples therapist, I could see why he would get annoyed of people like that.

A few weeks ago, I heard a stupid song on the radio. Well, goodness, aren’t most of the songs on the radio kind of stupid? At least the ones on the cheesy pop stations, are. (I really hate most of what is played on the radio and am baffled that our society actually enjoys them so much that they become a top 10 favorite, but that is an argument for some other time, haha.

I have loved our married student ward here in Provo, and I am going to miss it dearly! I especially will miss the Sisters who have been in the ward, as they have influenced my life in many ways. I guess, this post is a goodbye letter to them, as well as an encouragement for those who are also in married student wards. For those of you unfamiliar with what a “ward” is, it’s a way of referring to a local congregation within the LDS faith.

Our little apartment is being emptied. All the pictures and artwork have been taken down from the walls, leaving them as blank as a piece of paper. Our couch has been sold, so movies are being watched in our bed now. The shelves have been cleared, and the drawers are empty. Clothes are in bags, appliances are wrapped up, and the random things are boxed up.. Well, pretty much everything is boxed up… our life… it’s all boxed up and ready to be put elsewhere.

Before I got married, I would hear things about how friendships change when a friend gets married. I heard that the girls nights disappear, and the friends stop calling each other. I heard that single friends think their married friend is too consumed in their husband to care about them, or that there’s no relating to each other anymore. I’ve also heard that the single friend feels like their married friend is always trying to set them, and it’s annoying to them.

Buying a house can be expensive… Haha, that’s an obvious thing. The price gets higher and higher with every new appliance or furniture purchase, too. After buying the necessary refrigerator, washer and dryer, and a couch, you could say our savings is getting depleted! Even though we have the money for it, and are being responsible, it’s put us on a tight budget this month and next month, as we make sure we have enough money for all the living essentials and closing costs coming up.

Pregnancy. It either happens when you want it, don’t want it, were not expecting it, or couldn’t wait soon enough for. It’s usually pretty great news to hear, right? Whether the news is for yourself or for someone else, it is really exciting to see one of God’s greatest miracles happening to someone you know, and someone you care about. One of my friends and past roommates recently found out she is pregnant :) I’m so happy for her to be a mom because I know without a doubt, that is her mission in life.

If you read Part 1, you’ll know that we went into our appointment feeling worried about the huge price increase on the home plan we were interested in the most. We let them know we were very serious about this home, but that the price jump was going to be a deal-breaker for us. We asked the rep if there was anything they can do for us on that, since it happened literally overnight.

When we first started thinking about the idea of moving and buying a house, it was difficult to be fully invested in the idea because there were multiple factors that were up in the air that could alter that idea. It really felt like everything was about timing. We weren’t sure if the timing was right with me going back to school. We also weren’t sure if we should save up a little more, though we did already have a down payment.

Ready for these two exciting announcements? We are moving! We bought a house! Yep. This just got real. It’s awesome yet crazy, and just a huge step in our lives but we are so excited to take that step! Though the idea of moving has been in the works for us for about five months, the opportunity with this specific house came up quick. And when I mean quick, I mean that we had three days to decide on it, haha.

I like doing surprise/spur-of-the-moment dates. Especially when they are much needed. I have had some medical concerns (or you could call them annoyances!) for several months now. (I’m not pregnant, don’t worry, haha.) I’ll have slumps of days when almost any food sounds good to eat, but then I’ll have annoying streaks when I don’t want to eat anything; sometimes it gets to the point of just thinking of my favorite foods makes me want to gag.

Josh and I met on October 20, 2011 on the street corner while walking to class at the University of Utah. He said hello & the rest was history.. just kidding it wasn’t that simple. A few dates, break ups, one summer of me studying abroad and him selling pest control & skyping, a reunion the same place we met and several–staying up way too late because we didn’t want to say goodbye–nights later we were married March 12, 2013.

We love living in Provo. There’s some great things about this area (Provo & Orem) that set it apart from other cities in Utah. The music scene has been great to be a part of, and has been the creator of some memorable date nights for us. Someone, somewhere nearby, for some inexpensive price is always playing, and they are usually pretty entertaining. I don’t know of any town that can do that, let alone, has enough talent to give birth to some great bands.

Music is one of my favorite things that this life offers us. It has the power to inspire, to soften hearts, to change a mood, to make our bodies move, and ultimately, it can make us happy. My favorite thing about music, however, is its ability to preserve a memory, whether happy or sad, silly or annoying. I absolutely love that because of the many, MANY songs on my personal favorites list, every single one of them involves a memory… Singing Backstreet Boys songs with my friend every drive I took from St.

We are now on month 13 and I’m feeling grateful for where we are at. It is funny because this month I’ve suddenly felt like we gained a little bit more maturity with completing one year. Every year brings it’s certain experiences that allow us to learn and grow, so each year we’ll become just a little tinsy-tiny bit more wiser than the year before, and I’m looking forward to it :) With that being said, I think it is important to look back at things we have learned.

We’ve mentioned our ideals on dating in marriage before, but we’ll mention it again: One of our expectations going into our marriage, was committing to have a date night each week. In looking back at our first year, I don’t think we missed a week. I know it’s so much easier for newlyweds to continue to date, and make time for dates, but that’s not an excuse to lack! No matter what stage of marriage you are in, I hope you ask each other out on fun dates still.

Feel free to LISTEN to this blog post below! [sc name=“soundcloud” id=“273881414” ] I don’t like bikinis, I don’t wear them. I think they are immodest and inappropriate and impractical to be wearing swimming. I have read a few articles the past month, that have lead me to feel strongly about sharing why I feel this way about bikinis. One of those articles was, “I’m not celebrating bikini season this year” by Kit Steinkellner.

You’ve probably noticed a decrease in posts the past few weeks. (I’m sorry for that!) I love our blog, and I love writing posts, but I’ve just had my hands busy with school. Yep! After being out of the academic loop for two years, I am back in the game! It’s been a slight adjustment with getting back into my nerdy, studious habits, but it’s been more of an adjustment with how face-paced summer blocks are.

Remember when you first got married, and there’s that one (or more for some of us) person who makes the comment, “So when are you going to start having babies?” I’m sure we can all think of someone who said that to us, right? Some of them are just funny little grandmas just waiting to have more cheeks to pinch! But others can ask in an interrogative way about it, as if they may be upset if you give an answer that doesn’t include the thought of immediately having a child.

Well, Trevor and I have now been married for one year! It’s an interesting feeling of happiness, pride, excitement, and weirdness at the same time… if that makes any sense, haha. It is weird because of how quickly, yet slowly the year went by, and how different we are from a year ago! We were individuals that learned how to be one. We made plans, and some of those plans changed in unexpected ways.

I found this quote a long time ago, and it has been my favorite ever since. Unfortunately, I don’t like the song that these words come from, haha. I will credit the band and the song though anyways. The lyrics come from the song, “I Know How The River Feels,” by Diamond Rio. As a young adult, there were so many directions to go, and many crucial life decisions coming at me.

Our one year anniversary is coming up, and I am finding myself getting more excited about it each day! I’ve been thinking about how things were a year ago, and how far we have come since then. I have started looking back at our first year with such gratitude for the blessings that have come, and also for the trials that we have seen. And then I stumble upon all the cute things that made me fall in love with Trevor in the first place :) And that puts me in an instant twitterpated state of mind, haha.

Lately I’ve been seeing how great it can be to share things with your spouse! I had the reminder of this when I had consistent problems with my laptop computer that was junky, and Trevor suggested that I take over his personal macbook which was much much better than my PC. I’m sooooo grateful that I had someone else to rely on and offer to share with me, or else I would be without a computer and be stressed over finding the money to buy a new one!

For more than 11 years I have kept a quote book, where I have written down any intuitive thoughts, quotes, lyrics, speeches, movie lines, or any other words that I have found meaningful. I’m very passionate about finding them, as they inspire, and encourage, me. I love relating some of these to my own life, and so I wanted to share this one I love relating some of these to my own life, and so I wanted to share this one that is very significant to Trevor and I.

Trevor and I really enjoy having awesome TV shows to watch. We’ve already made that known in a previous post, where we spent most of March inside, while trading off being sick. There’s only so much you can do when you don’t feel well, right? But then what about the days that we feel great? Is it bad to enjoy a few episodes of a TV show? I mean, we all do it!

On Thursday, I was shamefully watching the daytime talk show, “The View” (I know, I stooped that low, don’t judge me), and I was saddened by some of the comments that were being said about marriage to their guest co-host, Candace Cameron Bure (she played DJ from “Full House”). She came out with a recent book, so they discussed some of her ideals on marriage that were written in that book.

On Saturday, Trevor and I were doing dishes together, and we had a funny conversation about something. I don’t remember all of the words that were said, but I think it was about how I almost pulled a “your face” joke on him. I know, I act like a twelve-year-old sometimes because I say “your face is a _____ “(fill in the blank), whenever the opportunity arises, haha. Well this opportunity, he knew it was coming after he created the perfect set up, so he said it before I could say it.

I remember reading an article last month on Huffington Post called, “Can We Bring The Holidays Down A Notch?” It’s a Mom telling about the stress that she feels comes with Holidays while feeling pressure from other moms who seem to make each holiday bigger than the last. I’m not a mom with kids who sometimes need to be pampered with gifts on holidays, but as a newlywed, I can relate to feeling that pressure as well.

School. There’s so much importance that is stressed on getting an education, and going to school. It’s something that seems to be on every young-adult’s mind, because getting a degree is the next step after high school. It’s what everyone is doing, right? Well, not everyone. It can be harder to accomplish this personal goal when married. The typical cycle around here, is that some couples find it best to have one spouse put school on hold to help support the other spouse’s education, with the hope that when they finish, the other spouse can go back and finish.

I currently work at a desk job, answering emails and phone calls from customers. Sometimes I work with awesome, fun, and happy customers, and other times I get to work with … other customers. Let’s face it, most people do not take the time to contact a company unless they are unsatisfied with a product. So I’m the front man that gets to handle all of that. For the most part I love it, but some days I feel the weight of the negativity that comes from being surrounded by complaints on a daily basis.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the way our blog is viewed. I wonder how our experiences are responded to. I wonder if we’re too bold in some of our marriage ideals. And sometimes I wonder if our life comes off as this airy fantasy of what marriage really is like. After I have written something, I think back at the reasons we established this blog and ask myself if the particular post can be beneficial to our readers.

Ours started in January 2011. I had just joined the Latter-Day Saint church and Jason returned from his mission in Italy 3 weeks later. So being in “missionary mode” he and his family gave me the new member lessons and our friendship blossomed from there. We were great friends with no intentions of dating for about a year. Soon we could no longer deny our feelings for each other, dated for about another year, and in March 2013 were sealed for time and all eternity in the Oakland temple.

The past three weeks, Trevor and I have felt like we’ve been bums, couch potatoes, or whatever you call it. I am just finishing a cold I have had for the past 3 weeks, so I haven’t had much energy to workout, or do extra things beyond the necessary chores. I’ve mostly been tired, while Trevor has also been tired from some adjustments in his new job. While he loves it, his brain can be on overload sometimes.

My husband and I met when we were out at a club dancing. To be honest, I thought he was a bit creepy at first, but by the end of the night I started to really like him. I ended up giving him my number, and the next day we went out for lunch together. It was the most amazing date I ever had! We had so much in common, and he was so funny!

I didn’t think I would come across this dilemma so soon after marriage. I thought we were pretty great at this, and wouldn’t struggle with it as much as we have been lately. It’s something that I thought I might have a hard time with when we have kids, but nope. It’s already a struggle at 9 months of marriage. What is this problem, you ask? Meals. Yeah I thought you might laugh.

Let’s be honest here. Every now and then, date nights can get a little routine doing the same things we usually do. This happens with us newlyweds too, believe it or not! So new ideas for date nights are good to have on those nights we feel like being spontaneous, or just wanting to do something different. Well, this is an idea that you can do any day of the week, in any season.

My twenty-second year was the best year of my life. Yesterday, I told Trevor my feelings on this past birthday year, and how I think it’s going to be hard to top. He said, “Oh, don’t say that! We are together, so every year is going to get better and better.” I loved it. I think trials are bound to happen in the years ahead of us, because there is so much more that we get to, and need to experience.

Brady and I met through a blind date. It was a Harry Potter party and we dressed up for it. It was so much fun! I loved it. He was the first guy who made me wait for our first kiss, and that showed me that he actually cared about a relationship. He was definitely a keeper. He was the first guy who I was completely myself around. We got married in June of 2012 and we are definitely still in the honeymoon stage.

This new year has already been eventful for us. We’ve been blessed with a few opportunities and things to look forward to, and now our lives are going in a different direction, and we are very happy about it. Exciting news to share Trevor has chosen to start his career earlier than we planned, with a job offer from his dream job! He will be a Web Developer for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

My husband Barrett and I have been married for a year now:) and we’re sealed together in the Redlands Temple, California. I was a new convert to the Latter-Day Saint church when we started dating, and I’m so grateful to have him in my life! We have both become such stronger people and grown so much. Right now he is attending college and working part- time, and I have a degree in fine arts and am also working.

Thank you to everyone who entered the giveaway. We loved hearing everyone’s comments about how they try to make every day feel like Valentine’s Day for their spouse! We have definitely taken notes from them. I hope everyone else goes back and reads each other’s comments to learn from them as well, because we all could use some advice, right? The prize up for grabs is a $25 Cinemark movie theater gift card good towards a date night for Valentine’s Day, or whenever you are feeling like taking out your sweetheart!

Every Day is Valentine’s Day Somehow I really enjoy this holiday. I used to give little cheesy valentines to my friends and family, but I have since upgraded to legit 5x7 Cards that are decked out with cutesy embellishments and hand-written words of love. I also love seeing baked goods decorated in pinks and reds, with jimmy sprinkles all over! And furthermore, I love decorating baked goods myself– heart shapes and everything!

I have been noticing some changes in myself since becoming a wifey to my amazing husband, Trevor. They are GOOD changes! We’ve been married now for about 8 months, and it’s been a fun ride. While the transition from the single life to the married life was so awesome, it was a bigger transition for me with how independent of a person I am. One of the biggest changes I’ve been proud of, is how much I have cut out of my life to make more time for Trevor, and to be a better wife and friend for him… I’ve focused more on the things that matter most.

The idea of sharing finances in marriage has been on my mind a lot recently. It’s possibly because I have had a few conversations with different couples the past month on how they run their finances. I found out that not every couple puts all of their earnings in one pot to pull from, and I found out how different this idea of combining money in marriage, can mean to everyone.

[caption id=“attachment_2465” align=“aligncenter” width=“450”] My guy and I first met June 27, 2010 with no intent of dating and just being buddies. However, with a summer filled with fireworks, fairs, and bbq’s we realized we were much more than friends.[/caption] We spent the following two years dating, enjoying life, and spending as much time together as possible. August 18, 2012 my sweet love and I were sealed in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple.

[caption id=“attachment_2457” align=“aligncenter” width=“450”] There’s something great about laying next to your best friend every night, and waking up to them still by your side in the morning.[/caption] On Saturday morning, I woke up and rolled over in bed to face Trevor. I found him still asleep, which typically happens, but this time I couldn’t help but stare at him. I cuddled up right next to him, and he made subtle movements to hold my hand, or put his arm around me, like he usually would.

Yaaay! This is a shout out to all you couples reading this: you are an inspiration to us! We have loved hearing about what you have learned in your marriage, and what you are grateful for about your spouse in the Boast & Brag giveaways…and the other readers loved it too! We want to make Freshly Married a place that is not just about my marriage, but where you can share your thoughts and experiences.

My wife and I have been married just under two years. We met in High School though we didn’t date at that point because she was a freshman when I was a senior. I spent a couple years as a Latter-Day Saint missionary and then when I came home, realized how beautiful and bright she was. In reality, she was always those things, but I’ve never been one to claim that High School Seniors were geniuses.

I’m sure many of you have read that article circulating, called “23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23.” If you haven’t read it, you might find it interesting. (Please note that the article in the link contains explicit words.) So many opinions can be formed about this girl’s views, and many opinions have already been mentioned. In having a website focused on strengthening marriage, as well as helping the world understand the beauty of marriage, we couldn’t let our opinion go unheard.

This was how our year of 2013 was well-spent. [caption id=“attachment_1860” align=“aligncenter” width=“550”] 67 dates. 348 days spent together. 1863 laughs. 32 special songs shared. 1.7 million kisses. (give or take a few) And 1 especially blissful day, when we became eternal best friends.[/caption] Happy New Year everyone! We are so excited to begin this new year together, but 2013 was a wonderful year! When I think back on all that we did, I can’t help but feel undeniably happy.

Hi, Freshly Married friends! You probably noticed that we have been gone for a while. Yes, we were with family. Yes, we were partying it up with Christmas and the New Year and what not…but we were also working on this amazingly awesome new website! Wooo hooo! We hope you like it. Along with the website updates, we created a new email list and social media accounts. Basically, to sum everything up, we are trying to make Freshly Married a better resource to help strengthen marriages.

. [caption id=“attachment_1442” align=“alignnone” width=“550”] This is a picture of our “hobby” room. One half of the picture is Amy’s “crafting corner” and the other half is my “coding corner”. Can you tell which side is Amy’s and which is mine? Uh…let’s just say we have our own styles of organization…hahaha :)[/caption] Two IS better than one As you can see by this picture, we are very different in some ways; I am a perfectionist, soft-spoken, and nerdy.

It’s been said that this is the most wonderful time of the year. And other than this freezing cold weather we have been having, it sure feels true to me! This seems to be the best Christmas season I’ve ever had. The first reason is because I get to experience it married to the love of my life, who automatically makes things the best. :) The second reason is because I feel a special kind of excitement for the many “firsts” and new traditions that we get to have.

[caption id=“attachment_1418” align=“aligncenter” width=“450”] Hello, We are the Acker’s![/caption] In the short time we have been married, we have learned so much about marriage and about each other. One important thing that I have learned is COMPROMISE!! Compromise is so important, especially if you and your husband have different interests, like Josh and I do. When Josh and I got married, we promised each other we would not be the stereotypical American couple that ends up in a divorce court in 5 years.

Trevor laughs at all the little moments in our relationship I try to commemorate, or that I feel the need to commemorate. When he sees a bottle of sparkling cider in the cupboard, I think he traces his memories to find out what moment I’m wanting to make a toast about with it (haha). Well, today is our six month anniversary, so naturally, I pulled out a bottle to celebrate over dinner.

Pornography is one of the biggest threats to marriages and families. Sex is the number 1 topic searched on the Internet (NCPCE Online, “Current Statistics,” Internet, http://www.nationalcoalition.org/stat.html). The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reported the biggest factors in divorce cases: – 68% of the divorces involved one party meeting a new lover over the Internet. – 56% involved one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.” These statistics are disgusting and sad.

[caption id=“attachment_1325” align=“aligncenter” width=“550”] Hello! We are the Barkers, Zack and Riley Barker. We have been married for just over a month, some might call us newlyweds.[/caption] Over the past month, we have learned marriage is …….. super fun! We enjoy every second of it, even the more difficult moments. Marriage is like any relationship, the harder you work at it, the more fulfilling and valuable it is. We can honestly say marriage is the best decision we have made.

It’s November, which means most of us express extra gratitude for all of the blessings we have in our lives. As I’m very thankful for many things, the biggest blessing of all has been to have the love of my dear husband, Trevor. I have several moments where I have so much gratitude for my spouse that I want to shout to the world, “I have the cutest husband!” However, I’m realizing that a better, more respectful thing to say, would be something along the lines of, “My husband is perfect for me” or “I’m so thankful for my husband.

Amy asked me this morning, “Am I beautiful?” I was thinking, “Of course you are beautiful!” But I know many of you women reading this ask the same thing. It’s obvious that many women are self-conscious about the way they look. I learned some disgusting statistics today: In 2012, women had more than 9.1 million cosmetic procedures - breast augmentation, liposuction, tummy tuck, eyelid surgery, and breast lift, to name a few.

We love it when we come across marriage being talked about in the news. This article is something that was posted in the Deseret Newspaper in Salt Lake City, Utah, the other day, and I just wanted to share it. Though I’m not sure that I agree with titling these “marriage commandments,” I do think it’s a great suggestion to compare them to the ten commandments we have been taught about through the gospel.

Do you and your significant other have different likes and dislikes? Yeah, we do too. We have had some since the beginning, but are starting to know a lot more, lately! We are so glad that we have those differences, because they provide a little variety in our relationship (haha). And if we were the exact same person, we might get bored after awhile. I think some of those differences have started to get to us a little more, recently.

These are a favorite of mine, and probably yours, if you are a fan of Red Lobster’s Cheddar-bay Biscuits! I don’t know about you, but I eat three baskets full of those every time I go there. They are just that good. Wanna make them at home? You can! My homegirl Betty Crocker has a Bisquik biscuit mix that tastes so similar to them, that allow me to easily make them at home!

I love the word, “family.” There are so many emotions and meanings that encircle this word: The feelings of love, comfort, home, dependability, kindness, humor, and humility, are just a few to name. I have learned a few things in my life about families, especially recently. Every family is different Every family has some sort of challenge, obstacle, or trial to overcome. Growing up, I quickly learned the first part. My family and I have experienced certain trials that I know many of my friends and their families were not experiencing, at the time.

What does it mean when you hold hands with your spouse? I remember the first time that Amy and I held hands. We had been dating for a few weeks and were really starting to like each other. I was shy and didn’t know how to make any moves. Amy could see that I was struggling so she helped me: we were watching a movie sitting on a bean bag and she put her hand on my arm.

A study by University of Utah professor Jeffrey Dew showed that if you argue about money with your spouse more than once a week your risk for divorce is 30 percent higher than if you argue about money with your spouse a few times a month. So, how can we avoid this? How can we find financial peace in our marriages? There are five easy tips that we have chosen to follow from our faith, on churchofjesuschrist.

what you need for stir fry bowls: Rice Cooker 2-3 cups of rice 3-4 cups of water 2 chicken breasts, thawed one green pepper one onion ¼ cup of teriyaki sauce 1-2 tablespoons of brown sugar Add rice and water to a rice cooker, as directed in the appliance instructions. This takes about 20-30 minutes to cook. While that is cooking, cut the chicken in bite-size pieces, and cook in a skillet on the stove with a little bit of olive oil.

It’s marriage quote Sunday, ya’ll!

Amy had sinus surgery this week. I sat worried in the waiting room attempting to get some homework done. After a long wait I was allowed to go to my wife’s bedside in the recovery room as she groggily emerged from the fog of anesthesia. I was able to help her eat, get dressed, and even use the bathroom…simple things we all take for granted. I held her hand tightly and stared at her beautiful face as she drifted in and out of sleep…quietly thanking God for all of my blessings.

We aren’t quite sure about how many kids we will want to have, when the time comes. The funny part is that Trevor wants two, and I think that I like three! What’s even more funny is that every now and then, we come across a scene that could give us a great reason to want as few kids as possible, haha. And when that happens, Trevor just holds up 2 fingers at me, and smiles.

Well folks, we have drawn a name out of the hat, with a winner to announce for our Boast and Brag Giveaway! Thank you so much for everyone who entered with your wonderful comments! We love hearing all of the great things that your spouses are doing to strengthen your marriage. It not only strengthens our marriage in in reading them, but I’m sure it does the same for the readers, as well.

Our dear, dear parents have paid for full insurances on our health, dental, and vision care all our lives… Until now. We’ve been getting our dental work in this summer, while we have insurance through Trevor’s company, and WOW! What a confusing puzzle insurance is. I never knew everything that goes into making sure you don’t pay a million dollars for small medical services. I mean, just in choosing a dentist, you have to carefully choose a great dentist, while also double-checking that they carry your insurance.

Amy and I can be a little goofy at times… Actually, pretty much all the time :) One of the goofy things we do is call each other “mine.” I came home to a note on the table today that said “mine.” I love my wife. I am very thankful for the nice little notes that she leaves me around our apartment, on our bathroom mirror, on the fridge, through text messages, and through voicemails.

You don’t hear about many newlywed couples who have food storage, but we are now one of those couples. We’ve been planning since before we got married, to have a three-month supply of food storage, and we just reached that goal this week. No, this isn’t because we worry that a zombie apocalypse will occur. It’s because we fear the unknown. I know many of you think that the topic of food storage is one that older people are involved in.

In our first three months together, I learned: Routines are comfortably nice. To take a deep breath and be patient. You can gain weight quickly as a newlywed! (Yikes!)

The sealing The best and most important part was done first thing in the morning: Get married to my best friend! After that, the mishaps don’t matter, because you are happy as can be! Photography Pictures were taken with family and friends on the temple grounds, and afterwards, Trevor and I spent about an hour taking pictures just us and the photographer. I know many people do groomals before-hand, so that the wedding day isn’t rushed.

I would like to start out, by saying how much I loved my wedding day. From the Groom to the ceremony; to the decorations to the guests; and from the food to the fun, I loved it all! Of course, the day had a few blips, but that is inevitable! What it all came down to, was that I had just married the most perfect man for me, and we were celebrating that fact with people who loved and supported us.

Life is busy. There seems to be a never-ending list of stuff to fill our time with: work, school, errands, meal preparation, eating, sleeping, cleaning, exercise, church responsibilities, hobbies, appointments, social activities… You get the point :) Life can easily suffocate our schedules with endless commitments without leaving time for the ones we love most. To avoid this, my wife and I have set a goal to have an official date night at least once a week.

Remember to cut the price tag off of your brand new blouse before you wear it to Sacrament meeting, in giving a talk at the pulpit, in front of a large congregation. It’s fine. My husband slyly pulled it off after I sat back down. Well, the time came, sooner than I had expected, that we were asked to speak in Sacrament meeting. To many of you, this may surprise you, but we actually enjoyed it.

In the first three weeks of being married, I learned: The difference between wants and needs. Showing your love can sometimes be more important than saying it. Selfishness will never prosper in a partnership. Cuddling can fix sooooo many things!

We were recently married in the Latter-Day Saint temple. We wanted to share this experience with you - from our engagement to our lives now…post-marriage. We hope you enjoy the words of the bride (amy) and the groom (trevor): This post has 2 parts: The bride’s perspective, and the groom’s perspective! The Groom Hello. I’m Trevor I’m Amy’s husband and I wanted to share my side of the story too :)

Well, more like, the best friends before we met our spouses. Saturday was Trevor’s (before me) best friend’s wedding. It was a beautiful, yet hot, day full of love and happiness for them. It was a long-awaited day for them, especially since we both started dating within a week of each other, and were engaged about the same time. It was so hard for those boys! They were so in love with us and they just kept waiting until we fully came around!

My husband asks me out on a date every week. I KNOW RIGHT?! He really is the cutest husband. We had our partial date tonight in the park, having a picnic together. We grabbed the cute woven basket my cute mother-in-law gave us, and packed it full of buns, bananas, and BBQ chicken. It was lovely just sitting on the lush, green, grass, just eating, talking, and laughing. Trevor makes me giggle so much.

We just bought a new iron two weeks ago. I was excited to play wifey with it, and iron things for my husband, just like the movies show wives and moms doing. (some of you might chuckle at that). So while Trevor went to run errands, I thought I would try it out on his dress shirts, and have them wrinkle-free for his Sunday-dress. You need to know two things before you judge me.