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For the past four or five months on our dates we have been trying to better focus our conversations on ourselves, rather than work, school, and other business. Trevor would think of questions or look up some to ask each other and it was fun. Since we started running out of questions, I did some research and for Christmas I got him (and me) the book, “4000 Questions For Getting To Know Anyone and Everyone” by Barbara Ann Kipfer. I found it in my purse the other day because Trevor wanted us to be prepared with it on our next date :)

We have only used it a few times so far just because our date nights have been with other people lately. But that’s no excuse, we could totally read a few questions every night before we go to bed or over dinner! So anyways, though we haven’t had a whole lot of use from it yet, we have enjoyed flipping through seeing the questions and getting excited to answer them! We plan on bringing it on each date night and then check marking each question when we go over it. Then maybe we answer them again in a few years!

The thing that I like about this book is that it asks deeper questions than “What’s your favorite food?” Because we should pretty much know that by now in marriage! Instead, the questions just help confirm what you already know about them, or help you further understand your spouse’s perspective on a subject. The questions cover a wide range of topics, as you can see outlined in the table of contents:


This is not a paid review or anything! I simply am sharing this because we think it could enhance our date nights which is something we are excited about! In my post, “The Importance of Fun,” I know I have mentioned a few times before that it’s important to avoid business talk on dates. Not only can it ruin a mood if the topic is sensitive, but it can ruin the enjoyment you were supposed to have on that date. Sometimes that date is the only time that couples get to just enjoy each other each week, so it should be special. That is why I am grateful for Trevor encouraging this with us.

Other products or resources I’ve found that provide opportunities to learn more and connect more with your partner:

100 Conversational Questions to Ask Your Spouse

Table Topics: Questions to Start Great Conversations

Get to Know You Better Book


Keepin' marriage fresh,

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