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The joy I found in my marriage this week was my husband getting a new job that he was so happy about!

I’ve kind of shared it mysteriously on here because we didn’t want to say anything until we had good news, but my husband actually got laid off his job a month ago. The decision was based on saving money, not on his performance whatsoever. It was very unexpected and very inconvenient in the timing. (It always is, isn’t it?) Just the night before, we were at dinner celebrating the plans we were making for the future, specifically finalizing the decision to get a dog and putting a deposit on our dog Oli. Suddenly, 12 hours later, we were stressing over and rethinking all the things we were excited about…  Should we still go on our trip even though we’ve already paid for most of it? Could he find another remote job he is passionate about? What if he can’t find another remote job he is happy with, am I prepared to take the responsibilities of training and taking care of a dog during the day?

Just the night before, we were at dinner celebrating the plans we were making for the future, specifically finalizing the decision to get Oli, and put a deposit on him. Suddenly, 12 hours later, we were stressing over and rethinking all the things we were excited about…  Should we still go on our California trip even though we’ve already paid for most of it? Could he find another remote job he is passionate about? What if he can’t find another remote job he is happy with, am I prepared to take the responsibilities of training and taking care of a dog during the day? I just remembered feeling stressed over the timing of everything, when we were right in the middle of fertility stresses, as well.


We have been extremely blessed with me getting to stay home and work on Freshly Married, a passion of mine that doesn’t pay our bills, haha. We have been extremely blessed that my husband’s career is in such high demand, to the point where we felt confident he could find another job fairly quickly. Not many people have those opportunities, so I’m not going to say we have had it so difficult. But like our family’s support has said, it’s still stressful and hurtful to lose your job, having to worry about being able to provide for your family, suddenly. It is hard as a wife to know how to be there for your spouse in this situation, especially when I am not the breadwinner. So I’ve been so relieved to see the weight off my husband’s shoulders as he got the offer from his top choice!

I found myself referring back to Kiley’s Spotlight story of going through a period of unemployment, being able to relate to the feelings of pulling away from each other or building up walls. It’s because it’s a whole bunch of uncertainty surrounding each of you with your own concerns, while also having to keep up the day to day tasks like she had with taking care of their kids while trying to handle it emotionally.

As thrown as we were from this experience, I’m grateful for the reminder that unexpected things are going to happen, and that even though you think it would bring you closer, these situations can actually push you apart. The only thing that’s NOT unexpected, is having each other, which is why your relationship is something to cling to in times like these! Knowing and being reminded of this also brings me joy :)

 

Keepin' marriage fresh,
Amy

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