A Joyful Marriage - Week 43
By Amy Miller
A characteristic about the both of us that brings me joy in our marriage is that we both are practical thinkers.
This may seem like a boring trait to find joy in but if you are a person who struggles with anxiety and worries over little things, it could cause more anxiety to be with someone who constantly makes irrational decisions on a whim, haha. Since we both can relate to those worrisome feelings, I feel like we can rely on each other in a comforting way.
I think the part of this characteristic that brings me the joy is that we both are on different levels of the practical-thinking spectrum, so we balance each other out :) For example, a few months ago, my husband suggested that I sell my iPad pro since I’ve recently purchased a few other devices that have lessened a need for it. His suggestion had merit, but I didn’t want to think about selling it because it was my graduation gift from him. I decided that I would give it some time to see if it would be a huge loss to not have it anymore. Well, on Saturday I finally decided that it was a good idea and that I should sell it. :)
Sometimes our different levels of practical-thinking can be frustrating for each other, haha. He makes quicker decisions so as to not drag on the situation, and just get it done, understandably. While on my end of it, I like to take my time to really consider the decision or find another option, which is also understandable. I think both of our ways of thinking have their pros and cons because it’s not always good to be hasty, while it’s also not good to take too long, either.
There are times when his way was the better way and other times where my way was the better way. Despite that, I think we have helped each other balance our way of thinking. Sometimes Trevor helps me by pointing out some parameters I should consider if I’m wanting to take my time to think about. (i.e. he gives me a timeclock to consider and have an answer by, which is what I need sometimes!) And other times, I help Trevor realize he might regret immediately throwing out an item he wasn’t sure he could use in the future or not.
There’s beauty in being a yin-yang to each other in marriage :) We don’t have to be totally black and white opposites in order to experience that beauty either. We can have the same trait but different ways of utilizing that trait :)