Complete Rather Than Compete
By Amy Miller
I’m excited to say that this guy is starting a new job at DOMO tomorrow and I’m pretty proud of him! Getting this job is kind of a bittersweet story for us, and I want to share it because I think it’s something every marriage will face on some level.
“There is so much more of happiness to be had when we can rejoice in another’s successes and not just in our own.”
- Barbara B. Smith
I was invited to apply for a big girl job back in July that I thought I was reaching for the stars on. Turns out they wanted me to come interview! As I began preparing for the interview over the following 10 days, I realized how much I wanted the job and how much I could offer. Trevor helped me out with some tips and tricks and I felt my interview played out even better than I had anticipated. The opportunity from DOMO presented itself to Trevor during this time, and he actually had one of his interviews on the exact same day and exact same time as me, haha. He nailed his too so we felt great. :) The picture above is when we both got home from our interviews and went out to celebrate :)
We left to St. George the next day and embarked on 3 days of getting away from the craziness of life. When we got home Trevor found out he was going to be officially offered the job! It was great news, except for the timing was difficult because that news came just ten minutes after I found out I didn’t get the job I interviewed for.
Sharing in the success
It’s hard to be faced with this situation in marriage, where one of you has success and the other one doesn’t. I know Trevor wanted to be more excited and happy about him getting the job and was holding back some of those feelings from me. At the same time I was trying to hold back my tears of rejection and disappointment, but didn’t do a good job at it! I know that if we both didn’t get the jobs I would have felt worse though. For the next few days I struggled on my self-esteem, but I still think I handled it fairly well considering I had already been under emotional stress from other things. Trevor was there for me and helped me see the learning experience I had, as well as my potential for something better in the future. And I remembered to see the gratitude and joy in this opportunity Trevor has with his new job.
In times like these it’s good to remember that our successes are shared in marriage. When one of us succeeds the other does too! And one spouse’s success is not compared to the other’s. That’s something I appreciate about Trevor. He is very successful in his career but he’s never made me feel inferior because of it. Instead he encourages and supports me in the career path I’ve taken. And instead of being jealous or feel bad about myself, I get inspired and motivated from his proactive attitude and his desire to always be learning. We are trying to learn from each other (complete each other if you will!), instead of compete with each other. This quote sums up this post quite well:
“The nature of male and female spirits is such that they complete each other. Please note that it does not say “compete with each other” but “complete each other”! We are here to help, lift, and rejoice with each other as we try to become our very best selves. When we seek to “complete” rather than “compete,” it is so much easier to cheer each other on!”
- Linda K. Burton
I may not have landed the job I wanted but it was a great learning experience for me. I still get to finish graduation and complete an internship that I know will be very fulfilling in my life. I also get the chance to be there for Trevor in this new adventure he is starting, just as he has been there for me, and as he will be there for my future successes. :)