In my marriage and relationship skills class that I took over the summer, my professor was making fun of his cousin who just got married and started a blog about marriage, as if his cousin was an expert on it. Apparently they would write in a way that the things they were suggesting were wrong. With my professor being an actual expert on marriage in being a couples therapist, I could see why he would get annoyed of people like that. I, of course, laughed because our own blog could totally be looked at in the same way!
I have to admit that there’s this crazy awesome feeling when you first get married that makes you want to shout to the world the joys of marriage. And of course, there is so much happiness with this beginning that it can make you feel like you pretty much know what’s up in marriage. Though there are some topics I am absolutely fine with feeling “preachy” about like telling people not to yell and scream at your spouse, I have tried to steer away from making it seem like we know it all. To be fair, we did say in our about page, that we don’t claim to know everything about marriage, and the only credentials we have right now are the fact that we are married. So we did let readers know that if we give advice, it is just from our personal experiences. I mean, look at mommy blogs: the only credentials they have are that they are a mother. Most of their learning is very new, as well. However, they are so popular because moms like to learn from each other.
Married couples like to learn from each other too
Since our blog started last year, I’ve actually had multiple people contact me, seeking advice about something going on in their life, or relationship. I loved this because of the reasons I’ve said above, that we can learn a lot from each other, and ultimately help one another succeed. What a great feeling that is. What made me truly feel good was that one person’s dilemma in particular, was a major situation Trevor and I had personal experience in. I’m not sure what ended up happening with that person but I know that they left the conversation with good feelings knowing they could talk to someone about it.
My last defense is that a lot can be learned from newlywed couples. I don’t know if anyone else notices this, but lessons we learn can be reoccurring, even within a year they can be! I think there are some lessons that even older couples need reminding of sometimes, and seeing newlywed couples go through it might be inspiring. And it swings the same way for newlywed couples! There is so much still that Trevor and I have to learn, and we can also learn from veteran couples! For example, though Trevor is great and still opens the door for me all time, seeing an older husband still doing that for his wife can be a reminder of chivalry for some people. Am I making my case?
Sharing experiences can be a good thing
I don’t think there is anything wrong with us newlyweds trying to promote the idea of marriage, share our experiences and lessons learned in marriage, or to try advocating ideas we believe can enhance marriages. Whether we’ve been married for two years of thirty years, a lesson learned is still a lesson learned. If the things I am learning could help my marriage and my family in some way, then it’s possible that it could help your marriage and family in some way, too.
That is my entire motivation for wanting to be a counselor for marriages and families. I know that I have a certain skill set that is geared towards listening to people and their problems, empathizing with them, educating, and helping them on the path to a better life. This blog is my first step towards doing that. I hope you enjoy reading our experiences and adventures, and I especially hope that they are relatable to you, and are influencing you for good in some way or another. I’m not an expert (yet) but I have a marriage and a family, and I know that you have one, too. Let’s just learn from each other. We encourage others to share their experiences, too! Check out our Spotlights to get to know other couples’ experiences as well!
Do you have some unique marriage experiences that you would like to share? We would love to feature you as one of our Spotlights, then! Please fill out a submission form telling us about you and your spouse, an experience you had in marriage, and what you’ve learned from it!