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There are many things in the beginning of marriage that we don’t know about or fully understand until we have been married for at least a few years. I’m sure you guys have specific situations you ran into that you stressed too much over, or maybe an aspect that you underestimated. Maybe knowing your spouse for longer has helped you know how to handle certain situations better. So for my #freshfridays question I asked:

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Comment below with the advice you would give to your newlywed self! Most of all, I ask this question because it gets us thinking about a lesson we learned in marriage. It reminds us of our goal to never take (something) for granted. It might also remind us that we are doing pretty great, especially if we made it through that first year ;)


My advice would be

If I’m asking you guys to share, I need to share too! If I could go back and give myself advice as a newlywed, it would be: It’s OK to take a break through a difficult, disagreeing conversation. Don’t keep talking it out thinking it will resolve the negative feelings. Don’t keep pestering him with questions in hopes he will share more feelings when you see him withdrawing. It just made you both feel more down, unnecessarily! As much as you want to resolve it right then and there, your spouse would feel better separating for a few hours. You might just discover those few hours are helpful for you too! The arguments won’t seem insurmountable and you can be more resilient.

That’s my advice! What’s yours?! Comment below to share the advice YOU would give to yourself!

P.S. Although it would be nice to go back to the beginning and change how we did things, these trying experiences taught us how to understand each other better, and grow closer. Everything has lead us to where we are today — taking what we’ve learned and let it strengthen us :)

Keepin' marriage fresh,
Amy

3 Comments

  • My husband died after 25 years of marriage and five children . We always said that what we had was a lifetime love affair. We said we loved each other every day because that was just how we felt and we always had physical contact even if it was just hand or arm somewhere. If we were in a social situation he would give me a nod, eyebrow raise or wink and always a smile if I caught his eye across a crowded room. Intimacy can be alive every day in your marriage and it is more precious than gold.

    • Helen, I’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s passing. My heart goes out to you for having to experience something like this. It truly does sound like your love was an amazing one, and I’m grateful for you sharing this insight on not taking for granted these playful touches and always creating an intimacy on some level. My prayers are with you.

  • I’m not married yet, so I can’t share my own advice. But I appreciate your advice so I can use it in the near future :)

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