Intentional Double Dating
By Amy Miller
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Our time is very valuable as married couples, individuals, and parents. Weekends seem to be dispersed between your own events and obligations, family events, or just plain staying home on a Saturday night relaxing! If you got kids, throw in their games and activities, too. So when it comes to date night, it’s rare for some of us to find time for double dates, let alone our own dates! There’s just only so much you can do in a month. That being said, when we do spend our precious time hanging out with other couples, it should be comfortable and enjoyable, and it should consistently be like that!
Because our time is so valuable, it’s important we think about WHO we are spending it with.
I have to admit that I’ve had to debate whether a certain double date was worth it or not because of who it was with. I’m sure we have all done this at least once especially if there were uncomfortable situations on past double dates. This is a good thing to do, in my opinion, because these people influence you for the better or worse, even if you think it’s not a big deal. We should not dread date night, and we shouldn’t dread seeing friends! If you’re feeling this way then you need to find better couple friends!
Here are 5 ways your marriage benefits from having good couple friends:
1. You have good examples to look up to and inspire you! It’s nice to see the other couple doing kind things for each other, but simply even avoiding negative conversations about your spouse or marriage is encouraging. A good set of couple friends will help your marriage progress somehow.
2. When you feel comfortable with another couple, you’re more likely to open up to them about personal things. You and your spouse feel more likely to share struggles and they can offer empathy and encouragement. It’s also just important to be around couples you can relate with.
3. You can be yourself. Don’t be with couples you feel uncomfortable around or intimidated by because it might show in your demeanor the rest of the date. When you are with couple friends who you get along with and are similar to you, you’re more likely to let loose and have fun! And that’s the point of a date, right?
4. It helps you to be more social. The more good experiences you have with another couple, the more you’ll want to do things with them! They are also more likely to invite you to future events you’re actually interested in, and vice versa.
5. Your time and money are well spent. Couples who impolitely argue in front of you on a double date, leave you feeling negative towards them, and the whole date overall. You also don’t get fun memories to talk about, and it makes you nervous for the next hang out. Instead, if you have a good comfortable time with them, you don’t leave feeling like it was a bust.
All of this is not to say “Be a snob to couples who don’t have as good of a marriage as you!” The truth is we all have struggles in our marriage, but there’s also a time and place to handle those struggles, and a double date is not one of them. Instead, I’m trying to say “Be intentional in your double dates!” (Saying that is funny because I was told that when I was single and dating as a teenager, haha.) But for reals, dates should be focused on enjoyment, escaping from real life, and cultivating your friendship with your spouse and them. If these things aren’t happening on your double dates then you don’t need to keep hanging out with them.
It’s important that we think about our influence on other couples as well! Look at the five benefits I listed above and evaluate your role on double dates. Are you setting admirable examples to your couple friends and influencing them for the better? As I have thought about this, I have discovered what I can improve on with my existing couple friends. If you want good couple friends, you need to be a good couple friend back! And remember…
Some of our most memorable at-home double-dates have included these games: Ticket to Ride, Pass the Pigs, Exploding Kittens, and Fibbage!
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