So many people right now are thinking about how they can better themselves for the new year. I am doing that right now, too! But one area people tend to forget to make a resolution for is in their relationships. Do I need to mention how awesome and important that is to do in your MARRIAGE?! I have to admit that I didn’t do that before beginning a serious relationship with Trevor. I even had boyfriends a few times when I made resolutions, but I never made any about my relationship with them. Maybe that’s why they never lasted! haha. Which brings me to my main point: If something or someone is of big importance, you should probably make goals about them!
Last January I wrote a post about how Trevor and I set goals for the new year. I shared our little ritual of going out to dinner and sharing our favorite memories of the year as well as our resolutions for the upcoming year. It’s something I look forward to a lot! (Go back and read that post especially if you dread making goals for the new year, because it might inspire you to make it fun like we did!) I also wrote about how we each find a goal to set for bettering our marriage in the coming year. It can be made privately among ourselves or we can tell it to each other. Setting goals for our marriage is not only crucial to our success, but I love doing it!
3 REASONS WHY SETTING MARRIAGE GOALS IS IMPORTANT
It shows that you both make your marriage a priority. I think goals for ourselves are very important! When our quality of life is improved, it typically improves the quality of life for our spouse, right? But by setting a goal to improve yourself for someone else shows how much you care about them. We set goals for things that mean something to us — things we are invested in. Well I’m pretty sure a marriage is something we should all be invested in!
It shows your partner that you are aware of things you can improve on. For your spouse to recognize something they do that causes contention in your marriage, and say they will work on not doing that is such a great feeling. When Trevor has done this, I feel more love and admiration towards him for his humility and for his care in wanting to become better for me. I also find myself praising him when he succeeds at it, whereas I might resent him if he wasn’t working on it or doesn’t think he needs to work on it.
When you work at your goals you also get to see the progress you have made! This is my favorite one because I have had a few years now to truly see the progress I have made as well as the progress Trevor has made, and it makes me feel proud! Both years I chose to work on different flaws or habits I have that contribute to contention in our marriage. I know I haven’t been perfect on these but after 12 months I do see those problems decreasing more and more. Being able to see yourself progress each year can bring hope in seeing yourself as an adequate spouse. It also can bring hope to your marriage in seeing your spouse make those improvements.
MY MARRIAGE GOAL THIS YEAR
Right now I have an outlook on my life that feels very fresh and new. I’m currently in a life transition being done with school and thinking about the future. Most of my daily routine is changing after two years and it will be weird! But I also am feeling excited about the new things I’ll be up to. With less stressful tasks on my plate now, I’ve definitely been contemplating how I can apply that extra time to help Trevor somehow or dedicate to us. As I’ve been busy with school, I have come across so many situations where I don’t have as much time to put towards doing something for Trevor as I would like to. So this is now my marriage goal for the new year!
There is ALWAYS something to work on in your marriage. If you are having trouble finding something you can improve on, THINK HARDER. Newsflash: we are not perfect and no marriage is perfect, either. Some couples might have bigger improvements to work on and other couples might have smaller ones. Either way, if you are not working on something in your marriage, you should be. If you are not setting personal or partner goals for improving your marriage then you should be!
Comment with a goal you want to set for your marriage!