We were recently married in the Latter-Day Saint temple. We wanted to share this experience with you - from our engagement to our lives now…post-marriage. We hope you enjoy the words of the bride (amy) and the groom (trevor):
This post has 2 parts: The bride’s perspective, and the groom’s perspective!
Hello. I’m Trevor
I’m Amy’s husband and I wanted to share my side of the story too :)
Weddings are a bit crazy
Actually…that is an understatement. Weddings ARE crazy :) LDS weddings in particular include some funny cultural differences from the traditional wedding that make them even more crazy.
However, weddings are also wonderful. This past year has been wonderful. I have experienced being engaged, wedding prep, marriage prep, and temple prep and now I want to share this experience with you. I hope it helps a few of you or at least makes you laugh!
As I started to get serious with Amy, my own thoughts raced back and forth:“Is this it? Is she the person I want to spend my life with?”
As we spoke with people about our relationship we found a few typical attitudes in our friends and family:
- “You guys are soo young!”
- “Just like all returned missionaries, jumping into marriage as soon as they get home”
- “So many young couples get divorced and don’t know what they are doing.”
- “Don’t rush into anything. I’ve been married a long time and you should just go have fun.”
- “You should date other girls / guys.”
- “Don’t get too serious!”
You get the idea :) Basically, there is a fear of marriage in our culture.
Amy and I knew that what we had was special and that it was right. We decided to get engaged! This is when the real tension started: My mom thought she was loosing me to another woman…she was constantly calling, and texting about worries and fears. We started to talk about birth control and other “post married” life changes and sexual tension really skyrocketed. We faced financial questions. We spent a great deal of time planning a wedding, dinner, and reception with all of the little details - decorations, food, clothing, schedules, invitations and all that jazz. I was finishing up a semester of school, trying to hold my head above water at the intense competition-ridden institution we call BYU.
As our engagement progressed closer to marriage I learned two key principles which I think can help every LDS couple preparing for a temple sealing:
- Keep the temple as your focus
- Make your soon-to-be spouse’s happiness your #1 priority.
Whenever I started to feel overwhelmed, stressed, or fearful I would take a step back and forget about all of the details and remember: “The temple is where I am being sealed to Amy. This is the only thing that really matters.”
The temple is free. Happiness doesn’t come from “things” it comes from people and from God. This is my little nugget of wisdom I gathered from engaged life which I hope to carry with me for the rest of my life.
after the wedding
After the wedding we took a look back and realized that everything worked out. It not only worked out…it worked out extremely well! Our sealing was beautiful. Our reception was very nice. Our family was very supportive and happy for us. Yaaay!
My testimony of marriage
I want to share a little happy secret to all those skeptics out there: Marriage IS wonderful.
Yes…it is hard, it has its ups and downs, it is challenging…but it is absolutely wonderful.
I have loved being sealed to my sweetheart. It is the best decision I have ever made. I love being able to hold her close every day, sleep in the same bed, be intimate with her, read scriptures with her, kneel and pray together, go to the temple, and walk hand in hand everywhere we go. We get to talk about our fears, our worries, our joys, and our goals. We get to cry and struggle and laugh and learn together. We get to be one. She is my best friend. I have committed my life to her. THAT is a beautiful thing.
So yes, we ARE going to keep acting like a freshly married couple. We will be mushy gushy - kissing, holding hands, hugging, and making people feel uncomfortable whenever we get the opportunity :) We will tell each other we love each other over and over again. We will act like 5 year olds teasing, laughing, and tickling each other.
We will be in love. I hope I never stop… I hope look back on every day and every year as I grow old…still absolutely absorbed and enthralled with overwhelming love and gratitude for my eternal companion. I hope you do too :)
Keepin’ our marriage fresh every day, Trevor
Marriage IS the best
It seems like we say that to everyone, these days! When people ask how married life is, and when we write out wedding cards. Its just so true. It all started 6 months ago with a ring, a proposal, and a whole lotta love for the thief who stole my heart.
Being engaged seems like it was so long ago. Even the week of our honeymoon, we felt like that was a whole other part of our lives, as if it was its own journey in itself. There was so much going on from the second we knew we wanted to marry each other, to the day we finally did. I enjoyed that time because it was exciting, adventurous, and important to our relationship. However, it was also challenging getting through the long nights of hard goodbyes, and preparation. Four months seemed like forever, but it also passed so quickly.
I remember feeling so much excitement for all of the great things that would be happening to us in the coming months. There were going to be so many changes, and the best part was they were all good changes! I was getting a new roommate, a new living situation, a new feeling of home, a new family, a new financial plan, a new best friend, a new name, and ultimately, a new kind of happiness. When all of those new things came together, and we were married, we saw innumerable blessings come in our lives, and we are still reaping those benefits. It has shown me that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us, and he only wants us to be happy in this life. He can give all of that to us if we do all that we should to obtain it. I’m so grateful that Trevor and I did all that we could, to be given this opportunity of love, that grows stronger every day.
As you can tell with the theme of this blog, I have strong ideals about marriage. I know that many of you are thinking, “Well, wait til’ you’ve been married 30 years, you might have different feelings…” You are somewhat right. Some of my feelings will alter, from time and certain experiences. However, my most powerful ideal on marriage will never change: It is the strongest relationship you can have on this earth, next to your relationship with God.
Everyone yearns for love, whether they admit it or not. I remember a year ago, yearning for love like I’ve never yearned for anything else before. I went through a difficult trial that could’ve either tainted my desire for marriage, or ignite my desire for it. My thoughts were on the later. I shed many tears, spoke so many prayers, and hoped so much, because I needed to find my eternal companion so so badly! Five months later, Trevor came into my life.
I learned so much about love through those months of waiting. I learned that you shouldn’t take people for granted. I learned that your significant other should be your highest priority. I learned that your best self should be brought out by your significant other, and vice versa. I’m definitely not perfect in the art of relationships, but I sure do know that being on the same page, or at least in the same chapter, is crucial for success. I am one of those few fortunate people that get to see what they were missing out on. We are all somewhat blessed to have the variety of positive and negative marriages to learn from. Trevor and I have seen both kinds of examples, and we discussed from the beginning, about how we wanted to do/not to do those things in our own relationship. By being on the same page about things, we have narrowed the gap that sadness, pain, and anger can sometimes seep through.
I have a testimony that families are central to feeling happiness in life. There are many examples in everyday life that prove just how important it is to have love and unity felt in your home.
Gordon B. Hinckley said,
“Indeed, of all the problems our society faces, the most serious is the breakdown of the family… The accumulated wisdom of centuries declares with clarity and certainty, that the greater happiness, the greater security, the greater peace of mind, the deeper reservoirs of love are experienced only by those who walk according to time-tested standards of virtue before marriage and total fidelity within marriage, and that the greatest sense of security and peace of mind is fostered within the family.”
I testify that is true. I have witnessed and felt examples within my own family, and I know you have too.
I am so in love, and I love it! I hope and pray that everyone can experience the love that can come through marriage, because it really and truly is, the best.
48 days and still…