Our first married NYE’s in 2013, we went out to dinner to Red Lobster and had a four-course meal discussing our New Year’s resolutions. We had a great time enjoying good food, good company, and talking about the goals and desires of our heart. We decided this year we would continue that as a tradition every NYE! So this year we went out to Buffalo Wild Wings (one of our favs) and listed out to each other our plans for the new year, and it was great!
We love doing this because it gives us an update on each other’s hopes, dreams, and also concerns. I mean, for the most part we are probably aware of these, but we get the chance to see their intent and determination to be successful. I also love getting inspired by each other in this way. Listening to Trevor’s goals ignites a further desire for me to help him be successful, as well as inspiring me to set more goals and have a desire to achieve them.
I know not everyone likes doing the New Year’s resolutions thing. Some people say we should always be evaluating ourselves, setting goals, and working to change or achieve those goals. I can agree on that idea. But I also think there’s nothing wrong with having a designated time of year to do an evaluation.
How we do goal-setting
When Trevor and I set goals, we sometimes do it differently :) Trevor learned and has taught me that goals are more likely to be successfully achieved if they are SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound. I love that idea, and I love how he follows it and has had success with it! When he tells me his plans for things and his goals they usually follow this criteria. For some reason I went more lax this year on my goals in that I didn’t really put a time frame of achievement, some of them aren’t very specific or even very measurable. Most of the things I wrote down actually started with the phrase, “I’m looking forward to…” That probably comes off as showing less commitment or enthusiasm but I guess I’m just trying not to overwhelm myself. Even though we have different ways of doing this, I’m just glad we do it!
When we set our goals, we think about them individually then write them down. We don’t typically discuss them with each other before we do our final telling, however it is interesting to see that we both focus on the same areas, asking ourselves the same questions about what we can work on. The main areas we focus on when we make our New Year’s resolutions are:
We think about the areas of improvement in our marriage, and how we individually contribute to it. We also think about the other person’s needs and how we have taken care of them. Thinking in these two ways helps us determine what we can work on individually to better our marriage. :) Sometimes we even will ask each other what we can each work on, because we may not be aware of something. You can always do that too.
I think of these goals as the area of personal betterment. I ask myself: “Do I have a bad habit I could work on breaking?” “Is there something I have felt bad about doing this year?” “Is this or that good for me?” “Is my physical or mental health suffering in some way?”
Individual Hopes and Dreams
You could call this area the “personal or life enrichment” area. :) What have I been wanting to do this year that I have missed doing? Is there a new skill I have been wanting to learn? Is there a place I am itching to travel to?
Being religious, I enjoy getting the chance to evaluate how spiritually connected I feel with my Heavenly Father and his teachings. I know there are always things I can do to improve my spirituality, no matter how great I am feeling! “Spiritually” can always refer to how in tune or at peace we are with ourselves. So I think these could also be mental health goals.
I’m so glad Trevor and I set goals individually and together. It brings us closer together on another level. It is a comforting feeling being able to express my desires and hopes to Trevor, and knowing he wants to support me in achieving those. Whether you set goals individually or with your spouse, I think it’s important to continue doing it. I’ve said this a million times probably but I think life is about progression. In my opinion, this is just one way to progress for the better :)