I have been noticing some changes in myself since becoming a wifey to my amazing husband, Trevor. They are GOOD changes! We’ve been married now for about 8 months, and it’s been a fun ride. While the transition from the single life to the married life was so awesome, it was a bigger transition for me with how independent of a person I am. One of the biggest changes I’ve been proud of, is how much I have cut out of my life to make more time for Trevor, and to be a better wife and friend for him… I’ve focused more on the things that matter most.
I’ve always been the type of person to plan every hour of each day. I would fill it with projects, errands, chores, and spending time with others. When we got married, my mind-set continued to plan in that same way. As the weeks went on, I found myself frustrated because I wasn’t getting my list done each day of things I wanted to do. I forgot to account for the things that could come up each day, now that I lived with someone else, and cared for someone else. Those things that would come up were on a wide-range scale. Anything from cutting out something to spend the entire night with my husband because he had a bad day, or stopping what we were doing because we spontaneously decide to go on an ice cream date. I also forgot to consider the time and dedication it sometimes takes to resolve a tiff in marriage, which is very important to take the time for! And on the other side of that, life has stresses that are not necessarily planned, and we definitely experienced a few of those, that took precedence over other things.
I realized that I just needed to keep simplifying my to-do lists.
Trevor worked on doing the same thing. As each month went by, I found myself simplifying more and more, and though you might think I would be more frustrated, I wasn’t. I realized that all of these reasons I was dropping a few things on my to-do list, were completely valid and important reasons. Anything that has to do with Trevor, most definitely comes before laundry, or painting my nails, or making a craft. And I’m proud to say that I’m so happy with doing that!
Maybe you’ll notice that there were some weeks (pretty much the whole month of November), where I didn’t post as often, because there were more important things going on than our blog. I’ve been very content with that. When Trevor and I do our weekly planning on Sunday nights now, I rarely have more than 3 things on my list each day. You can imagine how much less stress I feel from that. It has made me happier to know that I’m making more time for my husband than for me. Trevor has noticed it as well. He used to tell me when we were engaged that I always had so many “to-do’s” and that he wished I would just throw the to-do list out the window sometimes! Well chocolate-covered honey nut marshmallow, cherry-filled stud muffin, are you proud that you haven’t said that to me in a long time?! (Was that cheesy enough for ya?)
“If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most.” - Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Prioritizing is the key. When we focus on the things that are most important to us, the rest of those little to-do’s don’t seem to matter to us as much. When our lists are lessened to make time for those important things, we can also allow ourselves to be happier, instead of being down because we didn’t accomplish 500 things in a given day. One of our favorite General Conference talks that helped us refocus, is called, “Of Things That Matter Most,” by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, one of the leaders in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. If you haven’t listened to it before, I suggest listening to it, because it will encourage you to make the necessary re-prioritizing that in can ultimately bring happiness.
I’m just really happy with myself on this change, because I’ve seen how the effects have improved our marriage, and that is what matters most.