***GIVEAWAY CLOSED*** Many of our summer nights lately have consisted of take-out dinner. Somehow it’s mostly Mexican food, too, which means Cafe Rio :) We like going to the restaurant itself occasionally but sometimes we are just too pooped from the day, and just want to eat it at home while we watch Monk :) Know what I’m saying?! There’s been a big question apparently of what the masses prefer: their new Spicy Green Chile Pork, or their classic Sweet Pork.

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“276708040” ] It’s not easy being a spouse to someone who suffers from a depression disorder or anxiety disorder. There’s much patience required and it might be harder to understand if you have never experienced it before. Some spouses go into marriage with someone who suffers from depression not knowing how much of a mental and physical toll it can also have on themselves. And sadly, many couples go into marriage thinking that because they are so in love with their soulmate, their depression is gone.

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“276707574” ] I love this quote. This reflects what my husband has done for me and I feel nothing but overwhelming gratitude when I think about it. Spouses hold an amazing power to love you through your mistakes and weaknesses. They may be the only people close enough, and willing to understand those mistakes and weaknesses. It’s such a vulnerable thing, and for them to still stand by your side and come out loving you MORE is just amazing.

[sc name=“soundcloud” id=“276706899” ] It seems more people have been coming out and sharing that they suffer from depression and/or anxiety. Whether it’s just during postpartum or a life-long struggle, it’s not easy to battle, and not easy to share with everyone that you are among them. I’m grateful that more people are sharing this because it is not uncommon. We all experience hard and even traumatic things, and sometimes the explanation is just that the brain chemicals are imbalanced which causes the bouts of depression.

“The truth is, Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.” - brene brown There’s this amazing video depicting empathy by Brene Brown that changed my life when I watched it. She talks about the difference between empathy and sympathy, the mistakes we tend to make when attempting to give empathy, and what we should be doing instead. It’s super short, yet super powerful! The animation helps you understand well, too.

Watch the video, then proceed to the rest of the post below :) [sc name=“youtube” id=“BLpKabyYfds” ] Making your own marriage recipe So you have your ingredients list above, and now you need the directions to follow, but where do you find those directions to follow? 3 ways you find those directions: You study and learn through credible books, classes, and advice from others. You pull from your past relationship experiences of what worked and what didn’t work.

Everyone can feel loved differently because we each have different love languages we speak. Sometimes your love needs to be shown in a certain way. However, it requires your time no matter how you show it! Be willing to give up your time to do something special for your spouse, to say something special to them, or just plain be with them :) Give time to your spouse today!

The smoke detectors in our house have slowly been going off over the past few months, needing a replacement battery. And boy was that fun in the beginning :) I remember the first one that starting chirping during the day while it was just me at home, and I couldn’t replace the battery because I wasn’t tall enough to reach it, haha. So I had to wait until Trevor got home because he could reach it.

Have you ever tried to complete a puzzle without looking at the picture on the box? A few years ago I completed a beautiful 1000 piece Thomas Kinkade Lighthouse puzzle. I probably looked at the picture on the box more than a thousand times as I tried to figure out where each piece should fit. Being able to look at the box was a great guide and comfort though the process.

PROGRESSION! It’s a word that guides every aspect of my life. Especially lately! At some points progress can be slow-moving (one of those points being marriage!) but I know the day will come for you to see the rewards of your efforts and endurance, and you’ll feel strong. But it takes your active participation to get there. Put in the work to have the marriage you want or you won’t get it.

The use of techniques are found in our everyday activities; at your job, in your hobbies, cleaning your house, cooking, or driving a car. Each one of these requires the use of a skill or ability that you have learned that has helped you perform better in these various activities. Guess what? This idea can also be applied to your personal roles, such as being a spouse. It’s naive to think that knowing how to be married should come naturally.

For those of you who don’t know John Gottman, he’s basically the number one guy in understanding couples and marriages. He’s also really fun to listen to! I respect him for his many theories in marriage, but this one is one of my favs because it’s fairly easy to remember AND it makes a daily impact on your marriage! It’s called the 5 to 1 ratio for healthier marriages. How it works For every 1 negative thing we do in our relationship, it should be accompanied by 5 positive things**.

“…There would be far less of divorce, much less of infidelity, much less of anger and rancor and quarreling. There would be more of forgiveness, more of love, more of peace, more of happiness.” Looking for the good in your spouse daily — YES that’s DEFINITELY a smart technique to use in marriage! Look for the good, look for the positive, and look for the reasons why you fell in love with them in the first place.

One dilemma all marriages find themselves in is how to best tell their partner how they are feeling. What I mean by this is that sometimes when we try bringing up an issue with our spouse, we start it off with blaming or obvious anger. Think of the last time you started off a conversation like this. How did it work out for you?? If a conversation starts off like this, it will most likely end like this too.

A reader asked what I would suggest as ways to prioritize your spouse, and I decided to put all that information in a post because my reply is too big for a comment box! haha. So here’s my reply to my previous post: “Prioritizing My Spouse.” The idea of growing apart happens gradually over time. When you think about it, there will always be sudden situations that come up where you do need to be there for your kids over your spouse, but I think the problem starts when this is happening frequently.

Sometimes I get the feeling that people take marriage for granted or discount its importance. I’m not just saying that because I’m a marriage guru, or because I don’t understand what it’s like to have children of my own yet! From conversations I have had with people lately, they have made comments that appear to me as devaluing a family that only consists of husband and wife. It’s as if they think a married couple simply on their own isn’t good enough, or isn’t a “family” compared to a married couple with children.

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY FAMILY BEGINS WITH MARRIAGE In the previous post connected to this, I discussed how it’s becoming more normal to put less importance on marriage and more importance on kids. I think that this normalized mindset has given people this idea that a family only consisting of a husband and wife isn’t good enough compared to a family that has a husband, wife, and kids. NEWSFLASH: Marriage is the foundation of a family, and the most important foundation we will ever build!

I hope you all enjoy your own trip down #memory lane with this #freshfridays thought :)

Sharing time These pictures depict our lives before we “re-met” and started dating. Trevor was serving a Latter-Day Saint mission across the country while I was living at home, working at a craft store, and riding my scooter around trying to find myself again. Though it was tough at times, these experiences were great for each of us to gain a new perspective and discover what we really wanted and what we were ready for… each other.

*this post contains affiliate links. I recently looked through the scrapbook I made of our first year together, and it was fun taking this trip down memory lane, again! How special it is to look back through journals, or scrapbooks, and other mementos, and recover a taste of a memorable moment. One of those memories is this one that I made a scrapbook page out of :) It was the day we moved into our first apartment!