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sitting on porch, daybreak utah, stop and take a breath

The word, “realistic” has been on my mind a lot lately: “Is this to-do list realistic?” “Are my wants realistic right now?” “Seriously, is this person’s life realistic?” These are just a few. I’ve had a realization that we need to be more honest and appear more realistic as a society, because that’s how people relate to each other. I have a hard time connecting with people who give a persona that life is perfect because we all know it’s not.  So I’m going to be honest here.  I have been struggling the past few months with aspects of life. That’s partly why I have not written a post in awhile. There’s a number of things that contribute to the down feelings I have had, but I don’t want to name all of them. A few of those things have been weighing on me more than others. I am a genuinely positive person so I have been staying positive each day in some way, but man the way of it just sits there still. I like to think I can handle multiple stressors at once, but I know myself well enough to know that if it builds up for so long, with more things adding to the pile, eventually I’ll drop it all and fall.

The worst part: None of those stressors are going away, just because I’ve dropped them. Yes I have the chance to get strengthened again and redistribute the weight of these things, but I have to pick them all back up again.

The best part: I have two people to help me carry all of those things: God, and my husband.

I am very grateful to know there is a God who is watching over me, and who is very aware and invested in me; my happiness, my sadness, my failures and my successes. I always know that in some way or another, Heavenly Father will remind me that there are reasons for our struggles, and also to remind me that, “This too shall pass.”

I am also very grateful for Trevor. Some people think that getting married solves all of life’s problems and it is just happiness. FACT: that is not true. haha. Of course there’s happiness, especially in the beginning, but individual problems can still follow you, in addition to various marital stresses. And sometimes our own struggles are different from each other, like for us right now. Many of the things I am struggling with individually, are not things that he is also struggling with. This could be viewed as difficult, but I am feeling it a blessing.  Even though Trevor may not fully understand what I’m experiencing, if he is in a good place, then he has the capacity to help me when I’m not in a good place. He has done that for me in my times of need lately, and I appreciate it.  Trevor can’t really change the things I’m struggling with, but he’s been making those a little easier to bear, and I’m grateful for that.

I have more to say about the words that encompass “realistic,” but I just want to end on this today. Life has been good to me, and good to Trevor. We are very blessed, despite the trials we go through. I know things get better too, and you just have to do the best you can. So I’m doing that, and I’m not doing it alone. Rely on your spouse for help, and rely on God’s love, comfort and strength, too.

At the very least, it’s nice to just stop what you are doing, sit on your front porch, and feel the quiet, beautiful breeze. And maybe say to yourself: I did my best today, for what I feel I can handle.” And maybe while you’re sitting, waiting, and wishing, you might feel better.

 

Keepin' marriage fresh,
Amy

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