To the older couple staring at us kissing in line, stop rolling your eyes about it.
To the people sick of listening to proposal stories, stop rolling your eyes about it.
To the people who joke about my husband and I being prom dates because we sometimes match his tie and my dress for church, stop rolling your eyes about it.
Why am I saying this? Because people tend to get annoyed of young love and it bugs me. They may not roll their eyes but it usually displays itself through glares, jokes, fake smiles, or even unwanted bold opinions. It’s as if they think holding hands is inappropriate or something? I’m sure we have all experienced this at least once by someone.
Jealousy and negativITY
One of the reasons their reactions bug me is because these people actually want that kind of love that they haven’t experienced yet, or they lost that kind of love and want to feel it again.
- Newlyweds represent the kind of infatuation and friendship we should strive to carry with us throughout the rest of our years. I think when older couples see the cuteness of newlyweds always holding hands or kissing, it makes them feel embarrassed if they themselves don’t hold hands or kiss that often anymore. But we need this reminder from newlyweds, even if it makes us feel embarrassed, honestly! What else will help couples notice what is missing in their relationship? What else will inspire couples to rekindle their romance and friendship?
The other reason it bugs me when people figuratively ‘roll their eyes’ at newlyweds, is because positivity ALWAYS goes further than negativity.
- In other words, Why discourage them for being loving to each other? Why make them doubt their decisions in their relationship? I’ll be honest, some people I didn’t expect it from acted like this when we announced our engagement and it hurt my feelings. I get that people have worries, especially thinking that young couples can be naive. WELL YEAH WE ARE NAIVE, WE HAVEN’T BEEN MARRIED BEFORE, SO HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT’S AHEAD OF US?!
- Although some comments and body language from people was rained down on my parade, it didn’t change how Trevor and I felt about each other, thankfully. But think of how a lack of support could feel to a newly-engaged couple, and especially a newlywed couple! Many people may not know this but couples who receive more social support of their marriage are less likely to get divorced. That’s why having people attend a wedding ceremony and/or a wedding reception is more encouraged because they get to see friends, family, neighbors, and acquaintances rooting for them!
- So if our support of engaged or newlywed couples is so important to their success, why roll your eyes at them?! We should be encouraging newlyweds’ lovey-dovey attitudes! We should be admiring the way they deeply care about each other and look at each other!
We all do it
I will totally admit I have rolled my eyes at couples before! Most of the time it was because they were being super awkward with their love like walking around an entire store with their arms intertwined around each other’s butts, or totally doing it (and letting it be heard) in a unisex bathroom at a trampoline park… YEP. hahaha. And other times the reasons were just what I had listed above: I was either jealous, embarrassed, or skeptical about their decision to marry. Who am I to judge, though? I got married to Trevor 13 months after being engaged to someone else! And you know what, people gave me their opinions about that! But I also received a tremendous amount of support from many people who saw the depth of love we had for each other. We were lovey-dovey around them and they didn’t wear a fake smile but instead wore a real “I’m so happy for you!” smile :) And it meant a lot to me.
We all are going to roll our eyes at a couple at some point, so let’s just become more aware about why we do it and the influence it has on relationships, even our own. If couples are being gross in public, I think it’s totally OK to roll your eyes because of the setting they are in. But if they are only being twitterpaited, cute, romantic, or cheesy, how dare you tell them to stop! The worst we can do is discourage couples from having loving behavior towards each other. It sounds weird having to come out and say that because couples are intended to be touchy-feely, romantic, and cheesy to each other! It’s like telling a ball to stop bouncing, or a dog to stop wagging it’s tail. Instead, maybe you don’t go up to them and say how cute of a couple they are (even though that’s totally welcome), but maybe you genuinely smile at them from a distance, or at the very least don’t refrain from making faces at them.
So think twice before you roll your eyes next time :) Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this couple?” whether they are being cute or being gross! The answer will either be: “I don’t remember the last time we held hands in public like that, maybe we should do that more often.” OR “That is awkward and embarrassing and should be done in the privacy of their home!” hahaha