Recently, someone in church said something that completely resonated with me in so many ways, and I instantly started writing a bunch of thoughts on it that I had. I want to share those with you! She talked about how we sometimes look at people as obstacles, and how doing so gives us such a negative attitude and perspective on our situations with them. Hearing that really hit me and I think it’s because of the context it was in–relating obstacles to people, especially the people whom we have close relationships with.

After about a month of plotting, pinteresting, sketching, researching, purchasing, ironing, cutting, pinning, sewing, unpicking, and sewing again, I FINISHED MY HUSBAND’S QUILT! It turned out so well, and best of all, he loved it and appreciated it so much when I surprised him with it! WHY Last year my MIL made me a beautiful triangle quilt, and it’s been so comfy and matches our color scheme so well! I’ve been wanting Trev to have a specially-made blanket as well.

I want to gear this #freshfridays quote towards our emotions. No one is in control of our emotions except for ourselves. So when we react terribly towards something our spouse says or does, we have to own that. That’s why I love this quote, reminding me that I get to choose how I react to a situation, but that my choice is also important. There’s a few types of choices, I believe.

Arguments, fights, tiffs, quarrels, disagreements, misunderstandings, whatever you call them, are bound to happen here and there in marriage. If a couple says they have never even disagreed before, they are lying to you and themselves! haha. Whether it’s a large or small matter, and consistent or rare. Trevor and I have our tiffs just like everybody else. We have moments when our minds are not in sync with each other.

This is a common catchphrase in religions, even though it might not be a guarantee. While I believe praying is a powerful tool in marriage, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee a couple won’t get divorced. However, it does pull a large weight when it comes to feeling high marital quality. I came across a recent article not too long ago from the Institute of Family Studies about how influential religion is in a couple’s marital satisfaction.

“…That is good news because no matter how flat your relationship may be at present, if you keep adding pebbles of kindness, compassion, listening, sacrifice, understanding, and selflessness, eventually a mighty pyramid will begin to grow.” This weekend I watched Latter-Day Saint General Conference and heard some great spiritual messages! I also heard great messages about marriage, too! I especially found one particular talk I wanted to share that was so “nailed on the head” and relatable to all marriages, not just religious ones.

The past few months I have found out more and more people that I knew or am still friends with have gotten divorced. The shocked part of me thinks: “I swear they all just got married yesterday!” And then the realistic part of me remembers that high school was 7 years ago and a lot can happen whether people got married right out of high school or more recently. Because I’m in this same grouping, it gives me mixed feelings, realizing that divorce truly is a possibility, but that I’m glad I have the strong marriage I have.

I am religious and rely on God and his son, Jesus Christ, in nearly all aspects of my marriage. So I have been wanting to write about how religion influences my marriage. This week as I have been thinking about Easter and Jesus Christ’s Atonement, I have been focused on his actions from his time walking among us on earth: the examples he set of kindness, righteousness, and love. These qualities he displayed have become known as “Christlike attributes” and although there are many attributes that I could apply in my life, there are a few specifically that have been most applicable to my marriage that I wanted to point out.

Letters of Forgiveness Imagine that every morning after you got dressed you put a stuffed envelope in your back pocket. You consciously open the drawer to your nightstand and grab a worn letter inside an envelope, fold it in half, and put it inside the back pocket of your jeans. That might seem like a small little difference to your normal routine, because I don’t know anyone who does this, haha.

I know it can be very hard to let little things go, or to let big things go. Overcoming your variety of feelings, is not easy. Forgiveness is not easy! Forgetting is not easy. I know that it’s easier to sing it than to do it (sorry not sorry if the song got stuck in your head lol) but once you do let it go, you also have let go of resentment and can move forward with a clearer heart and mind.

FACT: We have all made mistakes in marriage, whether they be big or small. I know when I make mistakes in my marriage I tend to be hard on myself for it, especially if it’s something I am continually working on but don’t seem to be getting better at quite yet. The feeling lasts for a few days while I still feel bad for whatever I did or said, and as I consider ways to become better.

We all know that being kind can change someone’s entire day around, or maybe someone’s act of kindness has changed YOUR entire day. Kindness is so powerful, if you didn’t know that already! Throughout my marriage I’ve definitely been shown and taught how powerful it can be. When Trevor and I first experienced tiffs with each other, our process of being upset and also working through it was something new to me.

You may not have needed me to tell you that but there are 39 million people in the world and I’m sure millions more, who needed to be told that this week. I’m always thinking about how current events are affecting marriages, so of course I have been thinking about this whole Ashley Madison hack recently. Call me naive but I didn’t really know there were website services for cheating until a few years ago, when I saw a billboard advertisement for one.

When you think about a typical honeymoon (or look back on your own honeymoon), it’s a pretty great experience :) This picture is of us on our honeymoon to Park City; a.k.a Our best vacation ever! Honeymoons are full of fun, low-stress, and are fairly worry-free because the happiness of being together outweighs everything. That happiness continues on after the vacation is over. Hence, the “honeymoon phase” phrase, haha. It was such a simple time.

*This post contains affiliate links. A research team under John Gottman, a well-known expert in couples research, found that, “the success or failure of a marriage depends not on whether there is conflict, but on how conflict is handled when it does occur (Walsh, 2012).” Because of that, Gottman has addressed the mistakes we make while in the middle of marital conflict, in hopes that we can correct our mistakes and live happier marriages.

I love the word, “family.” There are so many emotions and meanings that encircle this word: The feelings of love, comfort, home, dependability, kindness, humor, and humility, are just a few to name. I have learned a few things in my life about families, especially recently. Every family is different Every family has some sort of challenge, obstacle, or trial to overcome. Growing up, I quickly learned the first part. My family and I have experienced certain trials that I know many of my friends and their families were not experiencing, at the time.