Strengthen your marriage and keep it fresh!
Learn with other awesome couples how to do this with my educated advice, support, and inspiration.
Sign Up
taking responsibility for your sexuality, understanding your sexuality, sex, sexual intimacy, being intimate with your spouse, sexual hangups in marriage, marriage advice, marriage help, love your spouse, newlywed advice, newlywed life, help for married women, sex problems in marriage, handling sex problems in marriage, handling sex problems, bad sex life in marriage, how to have a better sex life in marriage

I think one of the biggest hangups a couple can have when it comes to their sex life is not understanding their own sexuality first. It makes me sad that so many married people don’t even understand this huge part of their life and who they are. Which is like, the basis of a satisfying sex life for both husband and wife!

knowing her intimately, knowing her intimately book, knowing her intimately book review, laura m. brotherson, laura m. brotherson books, taking responsibility for your sexuality, understanding your sexuality, sex, sexual intimacy, being intimate with your spouse, sexual hangups in marriage, marriage advice, marriage help, love your spouse, newlywed advice, newlywed life, help for married women, sex problems in marriage, handling sex problems in marriage, handling sex problems, bad sex life in marriage, how to have a better sex life in marriage

Why it’s important

SOOOO I want to talk just a little bit about this. And I’m going to use an excellent new resource I found that will help explain things so well! It’s a book called Knowing Her Intimately” by Laura M. Brotherson which works through “12 Keys for Creating a Sextraordinary Marriage.” Laura says that in order to have a flourishing sexual relationship in marriage, women should be willing to go through some mental exercises, calibration, and even discipline. Some of these mental exercises are thinking about what motivates you for sex. How do your attitudes, beliefs, expectations, and past experiences affect your sexual self-concept? As well as how in tune you are with your sexy side. When you know the answers to these kinds of questions, not only will your sex “flourish” like what Laura said above, but you will also be able to better identify problem areas and tackle those problem areas.

sex therapy, knowing her intimately, knowing her intimately book, knowing her intimately book review, laura m. brotherson, laura m. brotherson books, taking responsibility for your sexuality, understanding your sexuality, sex, sexual intimacy, being intimate with your spouse, sexual hangups in marriage, marriage advice, marriage help, love your spouse, newlywed advice, newlywed life, help for married women, sex problems in marriage, handling sex problems in marriage, handling sex problems, bad sex life in marriage, how to have a better sex life in marriage

For this blog post, it’s a focus mainly for women, providing them some How-to’s for embracing your sexual identity, as suggested from “Knowing Her Intimately.” I’ll share some of her suggestions, as well as my own!


Ways to Embrace Your Sexual Identity

  • Reprogram your mind with positive, healthy sexual messages. Read/listen to books like hers and blog posts like mine.
  • Keep away from negative unhealthy sexual messages. Sometimes we can’t prevent it, and other times we can. When I’ve just come from a movie where sex is depicted or talked about in a casual and vulgar way, it negatively influences my beautiful perspective of sex. And honestly, there have been times where even a few hours later it affects my ability to get in the mood. So doing your best to avoid these kinds of negative messages can help keep your mind positive.
  • Build up your own self-confidence with some positive affirmations. For example, when you’re getting ready for the day, tell yourself things like “Those jeans hug my butt perfectly!” or “I really love how I did my hair today.”
  • Figure out where and how you like to be touched or caressed through a massage. Laura suggests that you ask your spouse for just an exploratory massage that doesn’t lead to sex to help you do this.
  • Go shopping for some lingerie. Try some different outfits on and think about what you like about them and why. I think we tend to shop for what we think our husbands will like, but honestly, I think they will like anything! So choose something YOU love. The more YOU love it, the more you’ll feel a part of the sexual experience. Personally, this has helped me a lot. I don’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model in them but I feel confident and sexy, and I know my husband can sense that confidence and sexiness, which is all that matters.
  • Write in a sexual self-discovery journal. This is where you can write down your thoughts on questions about how you learned about sex, what it means to you, You can also think about the past times where you had amazing sexual experiences with your spouse, and ask yourself what aspects of that made it so wonderful to you. Some other questions she suggests answering for yourself are: “What would I have to change or give up if I fully embraced my sexuality?” and “What would it mean to my husband if I fully embraced my sexuality?”
  • Get educated. Let’s face it, I think most of our parents didn’t do a good job talking to us about the birds and the bees. But at the same time, there’s a point in your life where you have to educate yourself. AND there are certain aspects that you have to understand for yourself, like this whole topic on your sexual identity! Again, you can do this by reading good resources, getting information from your doctor, etc.
    • One I HIGHLY suggest is Laura’s first book: “And They Were Not Ashamed.” Both my husband and I read it as we were preparing for marriage and sexual intimacy and it was very educational on both the male and female body. This is not a plug at all, I’m telling you honestly that this book prepared us for beautiful sexual intimacy and has been blessing our lives since!
  • Address negative sexual beliefs and past experiences with a professional. I recommend this especially for those who have been victims of sexual abuse. They can help you and your husband find ways to prevent trauma from resurfacing. You should work through anything that is interfering with your current sexual relationship.
  • Connect with your body through dance and music. I think of this as listening to “baby-making music” haha. Why do people label certain songs like that? I think it’s because they feel a change of mood to be more sensual, and maybe it makes their body move a certain sexy way.

For this blog post, it’s a focus mainly for women, providing them some How-to’s for embracing your sexual identity, as suggested from “Knowing Her Intimately.” I’ll share some of her suggestions, as well as my own!

One thing that I think is significant to remember that Laura suggests is to make sure your motivation for understanding your sexuality is for you, not just for your spouse. Sexual intimacy should be a mutually enjoyable experience for you and your spouse.

Please be reassured that it’s GOOD to think about these things. Without knowing these things, you can’t fully communicate with your spouse about sex, and therefore it will have a harder time progressing.


GIVEAWAY – CLOSED!

There are SOOOO many things that I want to share from her book that I absolutely agree with, as well as other things I’ve been inspired about with sexual intimacy. So plenty more sexual intimacy blog posts to come where I’ll include snippets from this and other helpful resources that help strengthen sexual intimacy.

For now, though, you can enter to win your own copy of this book right now, as well as other awesome prizes like a $40 Victoria’s Secret gift card so you can try out one of the suggestions above and get some new lingerie!!! Look at this prize package worth $100!
sex therapy, knowing her intimately, knowing her intimately book, knowing her intimately book review, laura m. brotherson, laura m. brotherson books, taking responsibility for your sexuality, understanding your sexuality, sex, sexual intimacy, being intimate with your spouse, sexual hangups in marriage, marriage advice, marriage help, love your spouse, newlywed advice, newlywed life, help for married women, sex problems in marriage, handling sex problems in marriage, handling sex problems, bad sex life in marriage, how to have a better sex life in marriage

PRIZE:

  • 1 Victoria Secret $40 gift card
  • 1 copy of the “Knowing Her Intimately” book by Laura M. Brotherson
  • 1 “Wife life is the best life” t-shirt
  • 1 “Wifey” headband 
  • 1 “Ring for sex” bell (haha)

ENTER:

There are multiple ways you can enter, and the more you do, the more entries you get!

  1. Sign up for the Freshly Married newsletter at www.freshlymarried.com!
    1. Do this right at the top of the home page or just click here.
    2. any new email addresses added during the giveaway period will be considered an entry)
  2. Comment on this blog post something you love about your spouse!
  3. Like this giveaway announcement on the Freshly Married facebook page

RULES:

  • Contest ends Sunday, March 19th @ 11:59 PM MST. One grand prize winner will be announced Monday, March 20th.
  • Participants must be 18+ and live in the U.S.
  • This promotion is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with Facebook. You understand that you are providing your information to the owner of this Facebook page and not to Facebook.

BIG WINNER: EDITH VARGAS! CONGRATULATIONS!

And because I am having the hardest time just choosing one winner, I decided to draw two more names randomly, to give them a “Wife Life” t-shirt! Those two winners are: Carli, and Kortney!)

The winners have been emailed and have 48 hours to claim their prize or it will go to a runner-up.

Keepin' marriage fresh,
Amy

40 Comments

  • I love that my husband can always make me laugh and that he can feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger or anyone in the room like they have been friends for years!

  • One of the things I love about my husband is how willing he is to make my dreams come true. He works two jobs so that I can go to graduate school, and only focus on school. He has put his schooling on hold so that I can achieve my dreams. I don’t know how I got so lucky.

  • I love how kind and considerate my husband is! He always serves me and helps me in so many ways. He has brought me so much joy and continues to bring me joy and encouragement in all I do. I love him and I love learning about love and how we can continue to strengthen our marriage. I am thankful for your efforts to write and uplift many marriages! I love what you do! I look forward to implementing new ideas and I would love a copy of the book!!

  • I love that my husband is the best listener. He is so willing to sit down with me and tune everything else out while he hears what I have on my mind. He then becomes the best comforter and lets me know that he is here for me and only me in that moment. He is my everything!

    I would LOVE a copy of that book.

    Keep posting and doing what you’re doing – I find strength in your words!

    Also… I’m not just saying that because of the giveaway haha

  • I love that he seems to always be a step ahead of me. He knows my reactions before his actions. No one has ever made me feel so understood and so loved. He always keeps me smiling and laughing and I couldn’t imagine a more perfect partnership.

  • My favorite thing about my honey is that he is so great at communicating so we have SOO much fun just talking. Our favorite thing to do is throw a baseball back and forth and talking about what we want in the future.

  • There are so many things I love about my hubby but just yesterday I love how he will repropose to me after my ring has been to the jeweler for a bit. It is sweet and special and takes you back to the just engaged feeling. I recognize this might seem ridiculous to some but that’s why I love him more, he indulges my crazy ????

  • My favorite thing about my spouse is that he is so selfless. Even when I think he will be otherwise, he’s not and would
    do anything for me.

  • My favorite thing about my husband is that he is an amazing listener! He is so patient and will listen to me for as long as I want to talk. He also is an amazing dad and loves to spend time with us! I got a good one!

  • My favorite thing about my husband is how hard he tries: in showing me affection, in making me feel beautiful, at school and work… he’s dedicated in all he does because he’s just great like that. I love that.

  • My husband is so thoughtful and always putting me first!! I’m his first priority and I feel very blessed because of that! He is my best friend and everyday is a beautiful adventure ❤ he is my everything!!

    I would LOVE this book.

  • I absolutely love my husband’s constant effort to keep communication effective in our marriage. He not only makes me feel safe in sharing my words, but has helped me be more open to others opinions and ideas through his understanding and effort. I glad tell people that communication is our strong point!

  • My husband has proven time and time again over 20 years of marriage that he has my back! I never ever feel alone. EVER!

    P.S. I’m not on Facebook to like your post :( or I totally would.

  • My husband is so intuitive to my feelings, and goes above and beyond to let me know how loved I am everyday. He gives me things I never knew I needed, and he inspires me to be a better wife. Absolutely love this post. It’s a topic a lot of people won’t address, and you did it in such a beautiful way.

  • I love how lighthearted my husband is. He is the funniest person I know. Everything is 10x more funny with him around.

  • I have been so impressed as I’ve read through your blog posts! So real, so genuine and so uplifting. These topics are all incredibly important when it comes to having a happy and healthy marriage. I love it and I love this giveaway!
    I love SO many things about my rock of a husband, but I especially love the way he makes me feel- even after a day of frumpy sweats and toddler throw up, he still acts like I’m the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. I also could not ask for a better father to our children. He’s definitely an 11/10. ;)

    • Ahhh, thank you Cass, for your support, it means so much, and I hope I can continue to put out stuff that is genuine and uplifting!

  • One thing I love about my spouse is that he never gives up, no matter what! This applies to schooling, work, church callings, and other every day life events. He truly is an example of endurance and patience through both the good and the bad times!

  • I love this giveaway idea! I think I need to look into those books, even if I don’t win ;) anyways, one thing I absolutely LOVE about my husband is that he comes home from a long day at work, and jumps right in to family life! It’s a huge lifesaver, and makes me feel so loved.

    • if you’re already subscribed then you are just awesome and have already been wanting to strengthen your marriage this whole time! ;) it’s only new subscriptions that get that entry, but this and liking the other things on facebook gave you entries!

  • The best thing I want in a soul mate is confidence! They need self-respect, even with their sexuality! There are certain people in my life currently living this way and are paving the way for me. They are the ultimate example, other than our Savior, and I’m glad we are all close

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *