When I watch TV shows that portray a husband and wife relationship, I get annoyed sometimes with how they act towards each other. Examples of this: Wives nagging their husbands and saying they don’t do anything for them ever. Husbands complaining and saying comments like, “this is torture” when helping their wife plan a party or something only she is really interested in doing. They say sarcastic things under their breath at each other. They publicly make fun of each other. I know we all have seen a TV show or movie play-out relationships like this.
The thing that bothers me is that so many real life couples tend to play-out those same behaviors in their own relationships, probably thinking that it’s normal because they see it on TV or from the couples around them. And those couples draw from examples of other couples around … The cycle continues! I have something to say about that: Just because other couples choose to behave like this in their marriage, doesn’t mean you have to. This quote helps reiterate it more positively and beautifully:
“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently.
You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it.
You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary.
If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new.
It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”
– F. Burton Howard
I don’t want my marriage to be like the ones I see on TV, who behave in a way that makes it seem like they are living in an unhappy marriage all the time. Television couples are fictitious anyways, even if they are supposedly on a “reality” show. Whether scripted or unscripted though, we shouldn’t look at these examples as the norm. And even if it was the norm, don’t we want ours to be extraordinary instead? With the hard work required in marriage, I don’t plan on putting all my efforts towards only a “common” or “ordinary” marriage.
Make the goal
By having that goal in mind of achieving a marriage that is extraordinary, I think you are already on your way to making your marriage last :) None of us have the most perfect marriage. We get short with each other at times, and we slip-up with a public complaint on occasion, just like everybody does. However, the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is not letting those accidental slip-ups become intentional and regular.
Maybe one day having an extraordinary marriage will become the norm because everyone strives to strengthen their marriage! Maybe that’s wishful thinking but this is why I have this blog; to give the encouragement, ideas, and direction people need to make their marriage better than it is. May all who read this strive to do that!