We’ve mentioned our ideals on dating in marriage before, but we’ll mention it again: One of our expectations going into our marriage, was committing to have a date night each week. In looking back at our first year, I don’t think we missed a week. I know it’s so much easier for newlyweds to continue to date, and make time for dates, but that’s not an excuse to lack! No matter what stage of marriage you are in, I hope you ask each other out on fun dates still.
Key word: fun.
Trevor and I hit up the Seven Peaks Fun Center in Orem on Monday for a date night/FHE (Family Home Evening), playing a round of mini golf, because we are cool like everyone else in Utah County, and have a Pass of All Passes (a.k.a. the ultimate date night card). With a prized massage at stake, and a very close score, you could say it was slightly competitive, haha, but we had fun. You would think that fun would come naturally, right? Especially for newlyweds. I’m learning that it can be hard to keep the focus on having fun. I’m not saying at all that our date nights are boring! I’m saying that sometimes life can get in the way of you trying to have fun.
We were sitting in the car, about to go into the golf course, deciding what prize we were playing for. Trevor laughed, saying that we should choose a punishment like cleaning the toilets, or some other chore. I laughed too, and then said, “That reminds me, I was going to see if you could help me clean the bathroom this week, I’m worried about my homework load.” I noticed really quickly that it kind of put a damper on our silly conversation for a second, and Trevor said, “I have some things on my plate too, so can we talk about this later?” I felt bad because I realized that it wasn’t the time or place for me to be bringing that up, even though my heart was in the right place about asking him while the subject was brought up. We settled on the idea that we would play for a massage, and we went back to having fun and enjoying each other. We teased each other on every hole, and Trevor ended up winning by one, that lucky kid.
I bring this up because I think situations like this happen often, that can put a damper on an enjoyable moment or night. Admittedly, I have done this multiple times to Trevor. Sometimes it’s just because we are on a long drive and have time to have a conversation, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right setting or the right time for some topics. When it comes to date night, it should be focused on having fun, enjoyment, and relaxation. Bringing up touchy subjects or stressful subjects can make the fun and flirty feelings disappear. I’m glad that Trevor kindly stopped me before it could do any damage to our night.
I’ve started to realize how important it is to just focus on having fun. Right now it may not be too hard to do, but later on when life gets busy with work and children, having fun might be harder to come to. As I learn things in class, but mostly from experience, having fun together can be an important part to keeping a happy marriage. In knowing this, I stand even more firm on how important we feel it is to have a weekly date night. Even more-so, it’s important to make it a fun date night!
So don’t be shy, ask your spouse out on a date for this week! If you are looking for some ideas, we have a post giving you 365 date night ideas! or Check out this Master List we also created from our ideas along with other ideas I have researched! Have fun :)