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sparks in marriage, losing sparks in marriage, missing sparks in marriage, how to ignite the sparks in marriage,

I love playing with sparklers in the summer! They are a fun burst of energy and warmth, and have totally “sparked” a comparison for me to marriage!

Some couples at various points in their marriage, lose those fun, romantic sparks. Sadly, some of these couples wait around for the sparks to come back again on their own, which rarely happens. I think they wait around because it seems like a daunting task, right? It can feel awkward trying to ignite the sparks after it’s been awhile. It can feel humbling to ignite the sparks after you’ve been through some hurtful times together recently. You don’t want it to feel like you’re starting from square one in igniting the fire with each other (even though maybe that’s where your relationship, in all honesty, is at). Or maybe you have put your guard up, not wanting to put in a giant effort only to have it not be well-received by your spouse.

>>> Well, I’ve got one sure-fire way to find those romantic sparks again, and ignite them in a way that you feel comfortable with! And it’s something you have the power to do anytime!

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the key

One of the biggest places I believe you can find your romantic spark again is through memories. Because if you’re currently missing the spark in your relationship, you are sure to find it in those significant past moments of tenderness and twitterpaited-ness (if that’s a word!) between you and your spouse :) Let me explain how I utilize these memories to spark something new in our romance >>>

I might be someone who lives in the past a little too much. I tend to remember and celebrate little events that happened in our past like the day we saw our first movie together, or a day that we fell in love with a special song. Whatever the occasion might be, it puts a smile on my face and a sweet spot in my heart just thinking of it. THOSE ARE SPARKS HAPPENING! I’m visualizing a tender moment in our story where I remember feeling a tender love between my spouse and I. And then what do I do with the memories full of sparks? I PLAY ON THEM. I do this by randomly reminiscing with my spouse over that memory. Or I go a step further by “marking” the tender moment with a bottle of sparkling cider or some other memento :)

>>> Further ideas for playing on these sparks from your memories: mark the occasion with flowers, a small gift or going out on a special date night. If you want to big or go home, recreate the tender moment where you felt those initial sparks, and you’re very likely to have the sparks fly all over again :)

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Remember the sparks, then Play on those sparks

In summary, the key to finding those romantic sparks in your relationship again is to remember the moments where you initially felt sparks, and then you play on those memories in the present. This is a small baby step for those scared to initiate the romance again. The best part is that there are years of memories you can pull sparks from! So you can use this trick again, and again, and again, :)

Sparks are a powerful thing, and we shouldn’t forget that. The romantic sparks in a relationship have the power to enhance your relationship in fun, flirty, beautiful ways, and you have this power NOW! This is why I like to think of holding live sparkler fireworks; you literally are holding sparks in your hands and you can move them however you want, wherever you want.

I hope that you’ll use this idea to ignite the sparks in your relationship and that when you do, you both enjoy that moment so you can draw from it the next time you need to ignite the sparks again!

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What other things have you done to ignite those romantic sparks again? Share below!

Keepin' marriage fresh,


  • My husband and I’s first date was a day trip to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Before we left we went to the grocery store to get some supplies for the drive. We ended up purchasing: two bananas, two disposable cameras, some water, and a box of original Chips Ahoy. (I guess we wanted to try and be healthy but we ended up devouring the cookies and eventually just threw the bananas away) Even though that was 10 years ago…we both still remember that day and the “sparks” that were made. We have since been back numerous times and each time we try to build an extra memory there, we will go to a different museum, we will ride a gondola up the mountain, we will try a new ice cream place, etc. Just something to make the current trip stand out and have its own memories. We do however stick to a lot of traditions too. We always pack the same assortment of stuff. We both just know that bananas, cameras, and cookies means a spontaneous or surprise trip to Jackson Hole, where sparks are sure to fly but new memories that bring us closer are being created as well! (And yes true to tradition we still make sure to never eat the bananas) :)

    • Diana! Thank you for sharing this! How sweet is this memory. I love that you guys go back there often and do something slightly different but also stick to the old classic mementos too. That is a perfect example of this idea of using special memories in your relationship to bring back those sparks again!

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