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newlywed vacations, planning a newlywed vacation, pressure of newlywed vacations, pressure as newlyweds, newlywed pressure, bucket list pressure, newlywed to-do lists

In case I haven’t said this a lot lately, I’m super excited to be graduating with my bachelor’s degree in WEEKS. Well, to celebrate, we’ve been talking/planning/deciding/not deciding on taking a graduation vacation :) And what I mean by that is we have had ideas of where we would love to vacation and then haven’t been sure about them, so we put it on hold until the next idea comes along. It’s seriously been indecision-city over here! We could say it’s all because we just have so many places we are interested in seeing, or that we want to get the most bang for our buck. However, the real reason it hasn’t been easy to decide is because we feel like this trip has to be so extremely special because it might be the last time we can do a big vacation as just a family of two!

Everyone keeps suggesting, “Oh yeah, you totally need to go on a nice vacation for the two of you before you have kids!” The importance of it makes sense. I mean, most couples I know who have left their kids to go on vacation together, spend much of their vacation worrying about how their children are doing. I’m sure I would be the exact same way with my own kids, so I want to enjoy a vacation alone with Trevor before those responsibilities come! But can you just FEEL the massive pressure we have put on ourselves from that??!

Does anyone else feel like this too, or is it just me?

As a newlywed there are so many great things you get to experience together, especially for the first time. We tend to create a plan of how we want the next few years to go, and sometimes it comes with a to-do list  or bucket list of great things to accomplish, as well as things we desire to do together. Some of the things I have heard on couples’ to-do lists: finish school, have a career established, get a new car, experience living in a new state, go on a yearly vacation, get out of debt, get a house, have children, etc. HI. THAT’S A LOT TO DO IN JUST A FEW YEARS. While these are great desires to have and aspire to, it’s unlikely we will be able to do everything on our list, especially before children come along.  So why do we put pressure on ourselves to do these things all right now?

It’s OK

In writing this post, I have come to realize that our vacation (wherever we go…?!) will not fit all of our criteria, and it’s OK. I also realize that going on a big vacation is not a rite of passage as a newlywed. It’s OK if we end up not going, and instead splurge on a nice spa day or something ;) Remembering that it’s OK to do things differently from other couples has helped me feel more calm about the choices we are making as a couple right now. It’s an empowering feeling of confidence to be able to choose the timing that works best for us instead of going by what the norm is. It’s also an empowering feeling to accept the uncontrolled things that may interrupt original plans.

Don’t let the pressure get to you! Be the couple you are. Whatever your circumstances, be proud of them — OWN them! Focus on what you have accomplished in your marriage, not what you haven’t!

Keepin' marriage fresh,

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