I currently work at a desk job, answering emails and phone calls from customers. Sometimes I work with awesome, fun, and happy customers, and other times I get to work with … other customers. Let’s face it, most people do not take the time to contact a company unless they are unsatisfied with a product. So I’m the front man that gets to handle all of that. For the most part I love it, but some days I feel the weight of the negativity that comes from being surrounded by complaints on a daily basis. It affects my attitude during the day, and sadly, sometimes I take it home with me at night and complain to my husband.
I have recently been made aware of how big of a deal that is to my life, and to my marriage. When I found out that my venting each day has had such a negative affect on Trevor, I felt really bad. I mean, spouses just want us to be happy, and a lot of the time they want to fix a situation to make us happier. Not everything can be fixed though. I mean, for many of us, we can’t just quit our jobs because we don’t like it anymore, because we have bills to pay, and mouths to feed. So what do we do? We can’t change the people we talk to, or the people we work with, and we can’t change the situations that come up. What we can change, however, is how we react to them.
Do you or spouse have a job like what I have described? Does it have negative affects on you or them? If so, read my suggestions below on how you and your spouse can improve that situation. It’s only been one week that I have implemented some of these changes, and I already feel better.
For the spouse with the sometimes “difficult” job:
Focus on the positives things. Throughout the day. I focus on the good situations that happened so far like: “We got donuts this morning during our meeting.” or “That customer was so nice to me on the phone! What a good person.” Those will then become the situations I will want to tell Trevor about, when he asks me how my day was.
Clocking out of work, means also clocking out of your work mindset. One thing we look forward to the most each day, is coming home to each other, to a good meal, over a great TV show, that helps us escape and relax from the stresses of life. So we say our few things about work and how our day went, then we clock out of work mode and clock into happy home mode! Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to talk about your day, because holding things in that you need to vent about isn’t good. When we think about it though, we’re at our jobs for a third of our day, so it’s understandable that we might talk about it outside of work. However, I think it’s the level and consistency of how it’s being discussed that could be the problem. Sometimes it’s good for the soul to stop in the middle of a rant, haha.
Think about your job. If things are really bad, maybe it’s good to analyze the job you have and decide if it’s worth the stress it’s causing on your life, and your marriage. Sometimes emotional well-being is more important than money.
For the spouse with the moral support role:
Be supportive any way you can. I think it’s important to validate your spouse’s feelings of frustration or hurt towards situations at their job that they talk to you about. Understand that they have come to someone who they know they can feel love and support from, when they may not feel that in their work environment. After that, give your opinion or advice if you wish. That’s one thing I look to Trevor to provide me with. I want him to tell me if I have every right to be frustrated, or if I’m just being ridiculous.
Be honest. I was glad that Trevor was honest with me, about how the stresses at my job, and my complaining has affected him. It has given me motivation to change my attitude, or make changes at work so that I can be happier.
I think it’s inevitable that most of us will work at a dissatisfying job at some point in our lives. I wish we could just work at our dream jobs with the best co-workers, with the best benefits, but that’s kind of unrealistic for most of us. With that being said, it’s best to just move forward! I’ve been trying to remember that I’m grateful to have the job that I have. Things could always be worse. I’m grateful that at the end of the day, I get the chance to make people happy. Happiness seems to be the key in everything, right? And until I’m able to quit my job, I’m going to continue to think that way!