A few weeks ago, I heard a stupid song on the radio. Well, goodness, aren’t most of the songs on the radio kind of stupid? At least the ones on the cheesy pop stations, are. (I really hate most of what is played on the radio and am baffled that our society actually enjoys them so much that they become a top 10 favorite, but that is an argument for some other time, haha.) Anyways, the song I heard really annoyed me for other reasons. The song was called “True Love” by Pink. Here are some of the lyrics from this song:
Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say
Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face
There’s no one quite like you
You push all my buttons down
I know life would suck without you
At the same time, I wanna hug you
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck
You’re an —— but I love you
And you make me so mad I ask myself
Why i’m still here, or where could I go
You’re the only love I’ve ever known
But I hate you, I really hate you,
So much, I think it must be
No one else can break my heart like you.
Just once try to wrap your little brain around my feelings
Just once please try not to be so mean
I’m sorry, but does anyone else see something hugely wrong with this song?! I see multiple things wrong with this song, and I would like to address them. Some of you may think this is annoying of me to analyze this song as much as I am going to, but I think it is naive to not truly understand the songs you choose to listen to. I hate songs that send the wrong message to us, because those messages can be so strong within the influence of music. Even more-so I hate it when the wrong messages being sent have to do with love. On a side note, I’m not the only one who has been bothered by this song. I wrote my thoughts down on why this song disturbed me so much, and then the funniest thing happened a few days later— one of my professors actually brought up this song in a lecture, so that we could dissect how dysfunctional it is hahaha. I’ll continue with my personal thoughts on this song.
To me, this song is saying, “I really hate this guy. I can’t believe I got with him in the first place. Oh wait… ______ is why I liked him in the first place. But, oh yeah, he says mean things like ________ to me all the time, and acts like ______ to me all the time. Well gosh, this probably isn’t a normal relationship but I’m afraid to be alone. I’ve never been with anyone else to know otherwise so maybe this really is true love?”
Talk about a dysfunctional relationship!
I know that some of you are thinking that the song is supposed to be a fun way of saying, “Sometimes this relationship can be rough, and he does things that make me frustrated. But overall, I think it’s still a pretty great relationship, and I do really like him.” I realize that through songs, and even when we tell stories ourselves, pieces of the story are exaggerated to make a point. But I don’t like how these lyrics are being exaggerated.
Now read through the lyrics again… Well, yeah sometimes we disagree with our spouses or significant other, but does that mean we should want to slap them in the face? Have you ever known someone in a good relationship, especially in a “true love” type of relationship, that has ever said they hate their significant other? I haven’t either. What kind of stable relationship includes calling them vulgar names, saying you wanna hit them in their face, and hating every thing that comes out of their mouth? And she is really trying to kid herself that this is true love?
Songs can portray more to a person than what is merely said, because we tend to apply songs to ourselves. When you think about it, a song can simply plant a seed; a seed that might not have been planted otherwise. If I was a naive 17 year-old girl listening to this song, I might say, “Oh this is so me and my boyfriend. He bugs me the majority of the time, but then does one thing that is cute and I just know that I truly do love him! I mean, this song says that it’s OK for us to be this annoyed of each other, so it’s gotta be true love!” I may not have said these exact words, but this was totally me when I was 17. I was stuck in a love/hate relationship, but stuck it out because I heard stupid songs like these that made me think our relationship was normal. But I am here, in a completely different stable, blissful, and loving relationship telling you that past relationship was NOT normal, and that I had no idea what true love really was until I met Trevor.
True love is far from including any hate in it. True love is never (even jokingly) threatening violence. True love is speaking positively about your relationship and not negatively. True love is treating someone with respect, and not calling them names. True love is realizing that there will be moments of frustration and disagreement, but also knowing that you can work through it. True love is a yearning to be with that person instead of a yearning to get out.
With all this being said, I’m sorry Pink, but I cannot see how any part of your song portrays the definition of “true love.”
This post might be geared more towards single women, but I think it helps us married couples appreciate the love that we were lucky enough to find. So to those couples that have a true love relationship that is not dysfunctional like the one portrayed in this song, be thankful and go kiss your spouse!
To girls and women everywhere, and even boys and men, please don’t be fooled into thinking this type of relationship is OK or normal, even if it’s on a smaller scale, because it’s not. Please don’t be fooled into thinking that you may not find anything better than a constant love/hate relationship, because you can. There are many songs portraying relationships and what they think a relationship is. Don’t be influenced by the media so much that you make their definition of love your own.